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My husband, myself, and our 3 young girls are thinking about moving out to Asheville. We are originally from Northern California, but currently live in Southern California and we just can't afford it. We will Never be able to afford a house here. So we're thinking about moving to Asheville and we love so many things about it. We love the city size, the location and proximity to other larger cities, the mountains, hiking, waterfalls, 4 seasons, farmers markets, healthier restaurants, and the fact that the mountains protect it a little from more of the harsher natural disasters. Our only hangups are:
1. We will be really far away from family.
2. Living in the bible belt. We are not a religious family and I worry about the cultural differences this presents in regards to making friends, etc.
3. We are a mixed family, my husband is half Chinese and half Japanese and I'm Caucasian, so I worry about racism in the south. Not necessarily so much in Asheville, but the surrounding areas. We'd probably need to find housing in the smaller surrounding cities. How is Hendersonville? Any other areas that are fine or that should be avoided? Will we not be able to travel much outside of Asheville?
4. What can people survive on here? We'd have to take a $25k pay cut if my husband accepts his current job offer... which puts us at about $55k income for a family of 5. Housing seems comparable to California for rent prices, to buy is a little cheaper, but how is cost of living? Someone mentioned be careful of taxes, housing taxes?
4. Schools only seem so so, we won't be able to afford private schooling. What are the best areas for schools? It looks like mills river has great schools, any other areas? Any good charter schools?
There is much information on this site about costs, schools, etc, but one thing I feel I can comment on is 'racism in the South,' and concerns about religion and living in the Bible Belt. When I first started visiting NC/TN, this was on my mind. Of course, you hear so much about this from (generally, please no hate mail!) liberal northern New Englanders, or in your case, Californians. My experience was so far from that, that I have continued to tell people that this is a misconception that really needs to be put to bed. Sure, there is probably some racism here (as there is everywhere), and probably some religious fervor, too, but I never saw anything in that regard that would deter me from moving to the area.
People were and have been (we were just in NC/SC in June) IMO very friendly and kind. They smile and say hello, black/white/brown/yellow, no matter. I never observed any racial animosity or discord, and in the downtown areas, where you might get a good sampling of people, all types appeared to be happily going about their business. Never experienced any pushy religious 'stuff' either, if that's what you are worried about. Christian people that I have met are generally not like liberals. They don't expect you to think their way. They are polite and kind, and very much seemed to have a live and let live attitude. In my experience, religion is really only brought up if you bring it up, so a bit of caution there . I loved this area (not Asheville, though, that's another story) and hope to find a place to live in the woods for when I retire.
I don't have time to delve into all your questions right now but want to quickly address this:
1. We will be really far away from family.
Think long and hard about what that means as a young family. Do you see family frequently now? Do you gather for holidays or birthdays? Are there any elderly family members (your grandparents perhaps) who have or may develop health issues and would need assistance? Or worse, if there is a sudden situation and you you can't get home fast enough to say good-bye? Do you want your girls growing up with limited contact with their grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins...? Do your and your husband have dear friends that are a big part of your lives?
We are a mobile society and people often do live far from family as a necessity or by choice - obviously they manage but it can come at a cost. I can only share my own experience moving away from friends and family. Our grown sons were already living far from home when we moved here but our siblings, my in-laws, nieces and nephews all still live in the Chicago area. We get home for visits in a long one day drive (11 hours) or in an emergency can take a direct 1.5 hour flight - and we're in a semi-retired position that makes that do-able, no employer to clear things with. Since we moved here our oldest son has married and last Dec they had our first grandchild. I was in CA for the birth, have seen our granddaughter once more since then when they came to visit in April and I (husband is staying here to work) will go visit them in Sept. They have since moved to Seattle area and it's complicated getting there. And expensive. For you, traveling by air as a family of 5 is costly. Holiday travel (Thanksgiving/ Xmas) is even more costly. You'll be bound at some point (I don't know their ages) to travel when your girls have school breaks - check airfare to CA for spring break and you'll see what I mean.
I don't want to discourage you but want you to do a reality check on this one topic - the rest of your questions deserve much thought as well.
People move all the time. Your current family and friends could decide to move away themselves and then you will still be there. There are two sides to that story. But I agree, you should consider your relationship with those you are close to geographically now, and how you will feel and what life will be like taking in to consideration the things DLM2000 points out.
My personal experience: My husband and I moved from Los Angeles to Vermont in 2003. We knew no one here but we had grown tired of that rat race. We didn't visit relatives all that much, even though one was in Orange County, and his parents were up near Sacramento (and still are). Sister wants out and his parents are miserable, although his brother is close by should anything need tending to. I would not change the life trajectory I took because family didn't want me to move away. But we were both in agreement on that from the beginning. I talk to my sister now more than I did when I lived there.
My husband, myself, and our 3 young girls are thinking about moving out to Asheville. We are originally from Northern California, but currently live in Southern California and we just can't afford it. We will Never be able to afford a house here. So we're thinking about moving to Asheville and we love so many things about it. We love the city size, the location and proximity to other larger cities, the mountains, hiking, waterfalls, 4 seasons, farmers markets, healthier restaurants, and the fact that the mountains protect it a little from more of the harsher natural disasters. Our only hangups are:
1. We will be really far away from family.being away from family was always an issue for me
2. Living in the bible belt. We are not a religious family and I worry about the cultural differences this presents in regards to making friends, etc. it is rare that anyone really cares.
3. We are a mixed family, my husband is half Chinese and half Japanese and I'm Caucasian, so I worry about racism in the south. Not necessarily so much in Asheville, but the surrounding areas. We'd probably need to find housing in the smaller surrounding cities. How is Hendersonville? Any other areas that are fine or that should be avoided? Will we not be able to travel much outside of Asheville? It is rare that anyone really cares.
4. What can people survive on here? We'd have to take a $25k pay cut if my husband accepts his current job offer... which puts us at about $55k income for a family of 5. Housing seems comparable to California for rent prices, to buy is a little cheaper, but how is cost of living? Someone mentioned be careful of taxes, housing taxes? that is why people leave or live close to the bone waiting for retirement
4. Schools only seem so so, we won't be able to afford private schooling. What are the best areas for schools? It looks like mills river has great schools, any other areas? Any good charter schools? that surprises me too. But good schools are a consideration
Thank you in advance for any advice!
I wouldn't for $55k. Bottom line doesn't sound like a good fit
Last edited by theoldnorthstate; 07-28-2018 at 08:05 AM..
Can't imagine how a family of 5 can live comfortably anywhere on $55K income before tax obligation without additional support.
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. I loved this area (not Asheville, though, that's another story) and hope to find a place to live in the woods for when I retire. 
