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Could be completely off-base here, but it's possible he's projecting himself in the reverse situation i.e him alone with two women, and thinking he'd cheat in those circumstances. Clearly a trust issue here, and not likely to end well if you're not proactive( seek counseling, even move on if it's bad enough).
Before I give my opinion first let me say that I have been married several years and I'm a psychology major, so yeah I know marriage and I know human behavior much better than most. We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs.
My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting.
Correct?
Why potentially cause issues in a marriage while also not respecting your husband enough to have dinner with another male against his wishes.
Is it really worth putting business in front of your marriage? BTW again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
To all of the other posts that think he has insecurity issues or control issues I can tell you from a psychological perspective that might not be the case and he simply might not think its appropriate for a married woman to be having dinner with another man and I agree. And again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
And to reiterate - We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs. What some people view as appropriate other might not, I for one would have serious issues in my marriage if my wife had a dinner with the (guys) and can assure you its not based from insecurity or control issues but my own views on appropriate behavior in a marriage.
Trust me when i say that Latin American men are usually way more jealous than North Americans, i know this because i am Latin American, the reason is because Latina American women are usually also VERY jealous, so it's a back and forth jealously issue. I am Latin American myself, Colombian to be exact, and i remember when i first started dating my now wife, who is American born in Charlotte, i was very jealous of pretty much any guy that talked to her or looked at her in High School, i even got mad at her even if she ignored the guys. I was 18 years old when we started dating, now i am 23 and i have pretty much grown into the American culture, so much my Latin friends call me "white boy", and i'm not jealous at all anymore. Give your husband time to adapt, if it's been a while and he still doesn't trust you, specially with business dinners, than it sounds like there is a deep trust issue here.
Who cares what culture he comes from? He's in the United States (I'm assuming, yes?), and in the United States male and female colleagues attend business dinners.
Your husband is insecure, easily threatened, and jealous. I would just tell him that this is a professional outing, you are going, and that's final. If you don't put your foot down now, he is going to sabotage your career. But I think you already know that.
"My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting."
I cannot agree with this statement. I was an executive in corporate america, I travelled at least three days a week, I flew from one coast to another. I worked for a Japanese company who required that the clients be entertained. We would have our meetings during the day, and, I would take them out to dinner in the evenings. I also worked CES in Vegas, we would be there for a week, meeting with customers at the show (not in my office in NJ) and again entertain them after the show closed for the day.
Yes, most of the owners of the companies I dealt with were men, it was part of my job to visit them at their location, so I could review their financials, receivables and inventory, a visual look at their inventory, a walk through their retail outlet(s).
Your senario was probably fine 50 years ago, for a clerk sitting in an office, however, to me, it is not something that would work in todays world.
I can't imagine me telling the CEO of one of the largest companies in world...sorry, my husband won't let me take or join a male client for a business related dinner.
Good grief, this is 2011, not the 1950's, I took off my pearls and put down my little plastic purse years ago!
Before I give my opinion first let me say that I have been married several years and I'm a psychology major, so yeah I know marriage and I know human behavior much better than most. We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs.
My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting.
Correct?
Why potentially cause issues in a marriage while also not respecting your husband enough to have dinner with another male against his wishes.
Is it really worth putting business in front of your marriage? BTW again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
To all of the other posts that think he has insecurity issues or control issues I can tell you from a psychological perspective that might not be the case and he simply might not think its appropriate for a married woman to be having dinner with another man and I agree. And again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
And to reiterate - We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs. What some people view as appropriate other might not, I for one would have serious issues in my marriage if my wife had a dinner with the (guys) and can assure you its not based from insecurity or control issues but my own views on appropriate behavior in a marriage.
I would haphazard that your views on what is "appropriate behavior" for a marriage is one that is not held by the majority of folks who are engaged in the current business demographic.
Great for your wife and you if she has a job that does not require business activities and relationship building.
Perhaps your wife should not be working at all since she may come across many men day in and day out in the office. Inappropriate behavior can also happen in the office-- it does not take a business dinner to have inappropriate behavior between women and men or men and men or women and women.
Business dinners or functions are not only there to just go through a contract, etc. It is a known fact that in our culture and many others-- people do business with those that they trust, respect, and know. Functions such as a dinner create the opportunities for networking, further developing the business relationship, show appreciate, and get things done that surely could be done in an office but then you lose all of the other aspects.
The wife in this example or your wife is not going to to a swingers party or make some dirty movie-- it is business. If you think that these types of functions are not respectful to your marriage then I would imagine there would be a preference to keep the wife in the house away from potentially any man due to what you feel is "appropriate" behavior for a marriage.
"My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting."
I cannot agree with this statement. I was an executive in corporate america, I travelled at least three days a week, I flew from one coast to another. I worked for a Japanese company who required that the clients be entertained. We would have our meetings during the day, and, I would take them out to dinner in the evenings. I also worked CES in Vegas, we would be there for a week, meeting with customers at the show (not in my office in NJ) and again entertain them after the show closed for the day.
Yes, most of the owners of the companies I dealt with were men, it was part of my job to visit them at their location, so I could review their financials, receivables and inventory, a visual look at their inventory, a walk through their retail outlet(s).
Your senario was probably fine 50 years ago, for a clerk sitting in an office, however, to me, it is not something that would work in todays world.
I can't imagine me telling the CEO of one of the largest companies in world...sorry, my husband won't let me take or join a male client for a business related dinner.
Good grief, this is 2011, not the 1950's, I took off my pearls and put down my little plastic purse years ago!
I personally can not fathom any woman wanting to be in a marriage where the husband wants to keep her leashed or kept similarly as property.
Personally, if you have a problem with your wife going to a business dinner-- I can't imagine that you have a degree of comfort with the wife even working. Inappropriate behavior does not take a business function or even to happen-- it can happen right in the office.
Before I give my opinion first let me say that I have been married several years and I'm a psychology major, so yeah I know marriage and I know human behavior much better than most. We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs.
My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting.
Correct?
Why potentially cause issues in a marriage while also not respecting your husband enough to have dinner with another male against his wishes.
Is it really worth putting business in front of your marriage? BTW again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
To all of the other posts that think he has insecurity issues or control issues I can tell you from a psychological perspective that might not be the case and he simply might not think its appropriate for a married woman to be having dinner with another man and I agree. And again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
And to reiterate - We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs. What some people view as appropriate other might not, I for one would have serious issues in my marriage if my wife had a dinner with the (guys) and can assure you its not based from insecurity or control issues but my own views on appropriate behavior in a marriage.
Wow. I would no more take psych advice from a psych student (are you in undergrad?) than I would take legal advice from a criminal justice student.
I am also guessing that you do not have any real world business experience at the OP's level, correct?
Before I give my opinion first let me say that I have been married several years and I'm a psychology major, so yeah I know marriage and I know human behavior much better than most. We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs.
My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting.
Correct?
Why potentially cause issues in a marriage while also not respecting your husband enough to have dinner with another male against his wishes.
Is it really worth putting business in front of your marriage? BTW again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
To all of the other posts that think he has insecurity issues or control issues I can tell you from a psychological perspective that might not be the case and he simply might not think its appropriate for a married woman to be having dinner with another man and I agree. And again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
And to reiterate - We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs. What some people view as appropriate other might not, I for one would have serious issues in my marriage if my wife had a dinner with the (guys) and can assure you its not based from insecurity or control issues but my own views on appropriate behavior in a marriage.
Again this is a man and he is giving his point of view from a male prospective . And I want to add ^^^ this is wrong . He sounds to me as a person who has insecurities in his marriage as well . He sounds like he is right up there with the OP's husband and they are both wrong . This guy does not work in the corporate world .
Before I give my opinion first let me say that I have been married several years and I'm a psychology major, so yeah I know marriage and I know human behavior much better than most. We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs.
My opinion is you should not go, there is no business that you and the (guys!) can handle at a dinner setting that you cant handle in an office setting.
Correct?
Why potentially cause issues in a marriage while also not respecting your husband enough to have dinner with another male against his wishes.
Is it really worth putting business in front of your marriage? BTW again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
To all of the other posts that think he has insecurity issues or control issues I can tell you from a psychological perspective that might not be the case and he simply might not think its appropriate for a married woman to be having dinner with another man and I agree. And again any business that can be done over dinner can be done in a office setting.
And to reiterate - We must remember that humans and even cultures have different views and beliefs on marriage and what is appropriate and they have the right to their beliefs. What some people view as appropriate other might not, I for one would have serious issues in my marriage if my wife had a dinner with the (guys) and can assure you its not based from insecurity or control issues but my own views on appropriate behavior in a marriage.
You do not need to be a psych major to "know marriage and human behavior much better than most". You can also use experience and wisdom. You can also use observation. You can also use common sense and you can also use what is known as, "knowing what the hell you're talking about when it relates to..." in this case, the business world.
You clearly do not have a clue how it operates in the business world. This woman will lose clients and eventually her job if she allows her husband to dictate when and where she can go as far as meetings and functions.
You don't go to your clients or boss and tell them you couldn't get the permission slip signed by your husband. You want to lose everything you worked for in a flash? Give in to this jealous husband.
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, and i'm not jealous at all anymore. Give your husband time to adapt, if it's been a while and he still doesn't trust you, specially with business dinners, than it sounds like there is a deep trust issue here.
