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Meh. Networking can be helpful but it's not the only way to get a job or build a career either. If you're not good at it, that doesn't mean you're doomed to failure. Personally I only use networking on a limited basis. I stay in touch with my professional peers for the sharing and collaboration benefits, and given me more recognition in my industry. But I've gotten all of my jobs on my own.
I will say that the best way to network is to offer help first, not ask for it.
I have never been a big fan of the concept. It seems too much like using people. I am pretty much a loner and the idea of "making friends" so that you can benefit financially from it just rubs me the wrong way.
I have never been a big fan of the concept. It seems too much like using people. I am pretty much a loner and the idea of "making friends" so that you can benefit financially from it just rubs me the wrong way.
20yrsinBranson
It's not about "friends" or "friendship". It's a professional relationship. If you're looking to get emotionally involved, then professional networking is not for you.
It's not about "friends" or "friendship". It's a professional relationship. If you're looking to get emotionally involved, then professional networking is not for you.
Even worse. You can't even muster the pretense of liking someone or befriending before using them? Makes my skin crawl.
Even worse. You can't even muster the pretense of liking someone or befriending before using them? Makes my skin crawl.
20yrsinBranson
Generally speaking most people are not going to "network" with those that they do not like.
However, I kinda feel like you don't understand the basis of networking.
I have MANY colleagues whom I genuinely really like. However, I am not going to have outside relationships with them. I am not going to go hang out with them on the weekend, I am not going to go to their kid's birthday parties, etc. They are "friends" in the sense that I like them, enjoy working with them, would help them in many different ways-- some more than others.
Even worse. You can't even muster the pretense of liking someone or befriending before using them? Makes my skin crawl.
20yrsinBranson
lovetheduns addresses this well enough. Most people probably don't willingly associate with people they don't like. And you clearly don't appear to understand the concept of networking. A network is a community of people, however small or large, who work cooperatively with each other. That is what communities do. That is why humans live and work together; in order to thrive. It's pretty basic stuff, 20yrs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovetheduns
Generally speaking most people are not going to "network" with those that they do not like.
However, I kinda feel like you don't understand the basis of networking.
I have MANY colleagues whom I genuinely really like. However, I am not going to have outside relationships with them. I am not going to go hang out with them on the weekend, I am not going to go to their kid's birthday parties, etc. They are "friends" in the sense that I like them, enjoy working with them, would help them in many different ways-- some more than others.
lovetheduns addresses this well enough. Most people probably don't willingly associate with people they don't like. And you clearly don't appear to understand the concept of networking. A network is a community of people, however small or large, who work cooperatively with each other. That is what communities do. That is why humans live and work together; in order to thrive. It's pretty basic stuff, 20yrs.
I think I understand well enough. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Your value is only equal to what you can "do" for people. It's superficial and very shallow and cold. I have customers. They come in, purchase a service and leave. I go places, buy goods and services and leave. It's clean, honest and above-board. I respect the people I do business with and they respect me. Our roles are clearly defined.
Networking is not something I am comfortable with. I understand that everybody is there for the same purpose. That's fine. Everybody knows the rules of engagement. But I cannot spend time talking with people, exchanging pleasantries with the sole intention of picking out who can do something for me. Moreover, I would not like to be sized up and judged based upon what I can do for someone else.
If it works for other people, then more power to them.
I think I understand well enough. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Your value is only equal to what you can "do" for people.
I don't think you understand well enough at all. You seem confused about the fact that relationships vary. Perhaps you're looking at members in a network like you do your customers, in that the only value they have for you is money. Networks are far more complex than that. When I spend time with colleagues we teach and learn from each other. We share our research. We discuss our industry. We grow as professionals. I suppose you could say all human relationships are matter of using and perhaps they are to a degree, but in the end I find it irrelevant.
Quote:
It's superficial and very shallow and cold. I have customers. They come in, purchase a service and leave. I go places, buy goods and services and leave. It's clean, honest and above-board. I respect the people I do business with and they respect me. Our roles are clearly defined.
As I mentioned in my first post, a person has to be sociable to start to even have a network. Your interactions with your customers is what is shallow and cold. None of them would go out of their way for you just as you would not go out of your way for them. Who you are doesn't matter. Why? Because you don't have a mutually beneficial relationship. All relationships are intended to be mutually beneficial for that matter.
Quote:
Networking is not something I am comfortable with. I understand that everybody is there for the same purpose. That's fine. Everybody knows the rules of engagement. But I cannot spend time talking with people, exchanging pleasantries with the sole intention of picking out who can do something for me. Moreover, I would not like to be sized up and judged based upon what I can do for someone else.
The fact that you think professional networks are about exchanging fake pleasantries is bizarre. It would be fake for you, but you are mistaken if you think we're all like you. It's simply not the case. Many of us don't need to be fake. Any how, you have an idea of what networking is about when you've never engaged yourself. And naturally, you reach erroneous conclusions.
Everybody says networking is the way to get a job, I have my doubts. I believe any opening will be posted on the job boards inviting the hordes of applicants.
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