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I can only understand women not working if they're taking care of very young kids. Otherwise I don't see any reason why they aren't working.
I view it differently. I worked until mine started school. Kids really need parents when they are older. Sure there are 6 hours in the day while they are gone, but full time jobs are more than 6 hours per day. So there are many hours a parent isn't home and the children are being watched by someone else and eventually are home by themselves. It's difficult to have the energy for homework, discipline, carpooling to activities, when you're trying to cram all of that into 4 hours in the evening when you need to cook, clean and do laundry too.
I especially thought it was vital to be home for the teen years. Those are the years children truly need supervision. That's when they cut school and hang out at the friend's house whose parents both work. Or they congregate at the houses of parents who don't work after school and vacate before the parents come home. The teen years is when they can get into some serious trouble. Having a parent home means truly knowing where your teen is and what your teen is doing.
The other problem is that daycare becomes difficult once children start school. Prior to starting school, you pay someone to watch your children full time. Once they start school, it's extremely difficult to find someone to watch your children on random days off here and there throughout the year and when they are sick. I ended up quitting my job for this very reason. Hubby and I were trading days off to take care of sick children. Eventually we were missing so many days that we felt we risked losing our jobs. He had the better income, better benefits, and better stability. It was a no brainer.
Parents can't win. So many people complain about coworkers with children who miss too much work. If one parent stays home, they are critized for being lazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
I'd love to go back to work...but my husband won't consider it......I have other friends who stay home even though their kids are school-age, and it's usually because the husband wants them at home.
That literally blows my mind. In my household, spouses don't dictate what each other do. It's a partnership where decisions are made together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover
I guess for some men, it's a status symbol, to be able to afford a non-working wife.
Afford? For many, it's the difference between being upper middle class and middle class. How's a class drop a status symbol?
That's strange... About 2 years ago, I kept seeing articles claiming women were earning more than men on average...
HA! Not in my field (I.T.).
Quote:
Originally Posted by chilaili
If it's true, how nice for them. But I'm guessing the majority of women still have to work as well as their partners OR just don't have a partner and have to support themselves. Amazing how difficult it is to be a lady of leisure if you have no money coming in .
I'm single and live alone, so no life of leisure for me. If anything, men are the ones wanting US to pay for THEM. Not happening.
If men can afford to have a stay-home wife, I think they feel it means they have really made it (regardless of the actual finances). Some men really don't want their wives to work because it implies that they can't be "the provider" enough.
I agree that children need a parent more than part-time. However, why is it usually the woman? She often choose or ends up in jobs that aren't a full income or professional or whatever, even if educated (say, liberal arts) because there is an unconscious assumption that the "real" goal will be staying home with kids for a significant amount of time.
Actually, I wonder if blue-collar jobs work better for equality- shift work- I work shift work and many of the people I work with are working shift work around their wives' (and sometimes husbands') hours.
I just think women put themselves at financial risk if they can't earn a good living, whether they will be home with kids or not. After all, the "home" part might be relatively brief (in a full working lifetime) and one cannot always "just go back to work when..." especially these days.
Also, I feel there is an undue burden on the man in these situations. Even the most loyal and hardworking man can be laid off or get an injury or illness.
good, studies have shown that entering the workforce has been bad for women's health. they should still have the opportunity but IMO the family would be better off making due on less, if they can, and having her at home to raise the kids.
I agree that learning to make due with less is very important, but this is not something reserved for this issue. It's something the American populace needs to embrace in general. Consumerism is problematic on man levels.
Regarding the health of women and families, this is what I'm reading.
1. SAHMs tend to be younger and poorer. IIRC, low income individuals and families tend have poorer health.
2. As far as mental health goes, which effects the health of the family and probably physical health- "Working mothers are less likely to be depressed than stay-at-home moms, a new study suggests." What's key for working moms, especially as they age, is having a good grasp of work/life balance. Since women are the primary care-takers of the home/children this is essential. It does go to show how resilient women are overall.
3. Regarding the health of children and families, this article is interesting. It's class dependent. Children of working class families do better if mothers return to work quickly following birth, but children of middle and upper-middle class family do better if their mother stays home for 1 year following both. An advantage is seen if these women return to work at year 2 or 3.
I wish I could stay home for a year! But, that's unlikely to happen.
Do you think men really enjoy the old 9-5 any more than women do?
I often wonder how these women would like it if their husbands came home and announced they just didn't want to work anymore; that they had decided to become "men of leisure".
We really haven't come as far as we think we have, now have we?
Last year, a co-worker of mine (I'm a cook in a school cafeteria) accepted an office position. She's since come back to the school - she said it was because she got sick to death of leaving the house at 7:30 a.m. and not getting home until 7:30 p.m. Seems 50 plus hours a week were the "norm" at that position (60 when they had to work Saturdays). Our work schedule at the school IS excellent - 6:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. - home in time to enjoy the sunny spring afternoons, no weekends, and no holidays (we get a week off for Christmas and Easter Vacation). It doesn't mean we are "lazy", we're women still in our prime (40's and 50's) that still earn a decent income, but aren't interested in running the hamster wheel anymore.
Every morning, we enjoy discussing the previous afternoon's episodes of Judge Judy, Dr. Phil and Anderson Cooper.
If men can afford to have a stay-home wife, I think they feel it means they have really made it.
This sounds like a weak man to me. A truly successful man would be proud to have a wife with her own successful career or business, regardless of the finances.
Well, yes.
I do think some men (only some) feel safer if their wives can't earn a decent living, because they are afraid she won't stay on his merits.
When I was in RN school, a few husbands (class was all "older" students) deliberately impeded wives' study- took the car away, threatened to leave, urged them to quit, picked a fight the night before an exam.
I agree it's weak- who would want someone with you because they simply can't afford to go?
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