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Not everyone uses a daycare center. One of my dear friends who was a stay-at-home mom to one child cared for my child in her home. She put what I paid her into a savings account that eventually funded her daughters first two years of college. It was mutually beneficial and I know my friend cared for my child as if her were her own.
There's no kid like your own kid. That I know for sure.
As I said in my post, this is MY WAY, MY CHOICE. It's weird to me. U are passing judgement in not allowing me to have my own opinion. Isn't that what this forum is about?
Don't play stupid. Several of you were attempting to shame and I'm not gonna buy some back peddling crap you want to sling around now. When you do that it's likely you're gonna get called on it.
At my job there were a few well-paid female employees who decided to quit work when they had their second babies, because the cost of babysitting was so high that it wasn't worth it to them. I hasten to add that they all have husbands who make good money that provides medical insurance (the OP failed to take this into consideration; if the sole provider's income does not include insurance then chances are that they couldn't afford it on their own). One of them returned to work parttime, and she strictly adheres to the parttime. Another volunteers for a committee to maintain contact at the job. Another one is doing contractual side work. I imagine all of them will return to the work force when their kids are older.
Women SHOULD seek and maintain skills, even if they don't work. It's foolish and very irresponsible to assume that divorce or death will never occur in one's life. And if one is suddenly left with a family to provide for, a mnimum wage job won't cut it.
Last edited by Bluesmama; 08-29-2012 at 02:17 PM..
We often hear the lament how it can never be again like it was in the 1950's when mom stayed at home and the family did just fine.
In 1950 the average size of a new home in the United States was 948 sq. ft. with three small bedrooms, one bathroom, small living room (no family room) and a one car garage for a reason... most families had but one car.
If mom needed the car she took dad to work and picked him up at the end of the day.
Phones were usually shared party lines and you never called long distance.
Television got two or three channels and they all went off after the 11:00 PM news. In South Dakota it went off after the 10:00 PM news.
We never, and I mean never, went out to eat at a restaurant. Well, maybe not never but not more than half a dozen times over 10 years.
Vacations were camping at a state campground 100 miles away in a tent.
Christmas bought new socks, two new shirts, a new pair of jeans and maybe one toy like an erector set or a bicycle if it was a grand Christmas.
In a lot of ways it was better without the internet and computers. We didn't have porn and smut piped into our homes and the kids had to actually learn math and how to use a slide rule.
We call this the great age of information but I think it is little more than the age of BS. While the breadth of knowledge is five miles across all to often it's one inch deep.
Hate to tell you this but I don't think we have made a lot of progress over the past 40 years.
you are so right-on... it is not better now...
Koale
It amazes me the people who are willing to say that families can live on one income and those people not discuss the median income of all American workers being $26,324. That means that 50% of all American workers make less than $26,324.
66% of all American workers earn less than $39,900. Again, you can't just wish reality away. What about the cost of housing, of transportation that is a necessity to get back and forth to work, what about food costs, medical cost?
There is no discussion about how to make it work based on looking at reality or factual information about Median incomes and expenses. This information is readily available.
Why do people have fantasy and make believe discussions? How do people have discussions where they don't know anything about the subject matter they are discussing? Why are people willing to make up things about how Americans spend their money, when the data is readily available that disproves their assumptions about spending by Americans?
What is the point of having a discussion that is full of lies and misinformation? I just don't get it.
Don't play stupid. Several of you were attempting to shame and I'm not gonna buy some back peddling crap you want to sling around now. When you do that it's likely you're gonna get called on it.
I am not talking about Minimum Wage Jobs, but if a spouse wants to stay at home and raise the kids, there should be no problem. You just downsize your housing (rent or mortgage), downsize your vehicle, entertainment, vacations. Many say it takes two incomes to get by today, BS, it only takes two incomes if you want to have the three bedroom, two bath, two car garage home in the subs, a boat or jet skis, along with the big Toyota SUV, 46 in Flat Screen TV with 3,500 channels, surround sound, high speed internet connection ($135 month or more), I phone, oh, and the daily Latte Frappe at Starbucks at $5.00 a pop.
Get it?
No, I don't get it. Two people making $25 a year have it rough. That is far more than minimum wage. It takes three times minimum wage to make enough to live on your own, pay your own bills, ride the bus and go to the local library for your Internet.
You can only downsize your housing but so much. A person is supposed to live in a place that is 1/40 their annual income per month. If you are making $26,000 a year, that means you are supposed to live in a place that is $650 a month. What decent place for $650 a month is out there unless you live in a rural community?
Who has a 46 inch flat screen TV? Who has 3,500 channels? People are getting by on a cheap $200 32 inch TV with 300 channels. I don't even have cable. Rent is $865 a month. Car is $400 a month. Insurance is $130 a month. Electricity is $200 a month. Gas (heat) is $200 a month. Gas (transportation) is $200 a month. The only way I can get a place for $650 month where I won't get shot at is by putting down half on a home.
What high speed Internet connection is $135 a month or more? Yeah, like if you're running a business out of your home and have that level of Internet. If you don't pay for cable TV, you should be able to get Internet for $50 a month.
You CAN do it if you live where the housing is not insane and you are a saver/frugal, not someone who needs the best of everything.
There won't be a lot of money for luxuries and there will only be one car, modest clothes, modest family trips to the park not Disney World but to me what matters is that people are happy at what they do.
I still think, in retrospect, it's better for that stay at home spouse to work part time. I would not advise staying home 100% because it's so hard to maintain your separateness from being a parent and you also lose the edge in the career world.
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Ha...
