Help and Thoughts, Please! (credit, applying, interview, payments)

[mostie]

I have to say that I really hate going into detail about my personal life- .....there's just something disturbing about plastering things on the internet, lol. However...hopefully, I can go into some detail without going into detail detail, you know?

Here's the scoop; husband has a job with the fed. gov. - he's been with them for four years. We moved a year ago due to a transfer he was trying to get, to an area we really wanted to be in...well, to a state we wanted to be in, but we do love it here. We bought a house a month after landing, because we figured this was going to be 'it', end of the line, and we were happy with that. Can anyone see where this is leading? lol...ok, so the job he has now is roughly the same job he had where we moved from, but he took a step down in order for us to be here. When he did the phone interview with the boss here, he was told that there was plenty of work, etc. (We live in a small town, but the work they have is due to people from all over the area coming here). Well, a week or so after starting work, he discovered that no, there isn't a lot of work here- there's very little, in fact. For someone like my husband who enjoys being really busy and feeling a sense of accomplishment from working hard- and, well, working for what he's paid for - this was devastating. When I say there isn't much to do, I mean that there are four people doing the work that one or two, honestly, could do without really breaking much of a sweat. I won't go into detail about how he has reacted to this, but it isn't good at all, and it's been very hard for him, very hard. And on we go. In this job that he is in, he can never move 'up'. He is at the top of where it goes, and the money isn't great- although we knew this coming in. He is in a different field at work than he would be in for his degree, he will have a Master's in early November in Software Development/Programmer/Mgmt., that part always confused me, lol. Six months after November, his student loans are going to come due- I don't need to tell you, they are monstrous....and the payments will be no easy feat, that's for sure. Because he is working full-time, he won't be able to have them put off for any amount of time. Looking around where we are, and he has been looking, there are no jobs in his field within 150 miles of here- well, maybe a few around 100, I take that back, but very few.

So...after laying all of that groundwork, here is the issue:

He has been applying for jobs in his field in our state, as well as the neighboring state- and he has been offered a job at a major company, but he hasn't received the offer letter yet (they told him that it could be a while), and the job wouldn't start until January, but he did receive a verbal offer, talked to the hiring manager twice, and he was told they loved him and it's a go. He has also received interest from a couple of other companies, one of which he had a phone interview, and now they want him to go for a face-to-face interview next week, 250 miles from where we live. The ultimate situation would be finding something in our area- but truth is, there isn't hardly anything, not in his field at all. If he wants to work in his chosen field, it would necessitate uprooting, and moving....again. And now that we bought a house (which in all honesty I am kicking myself for, wishing so much that we had waited-because it nails you down, for sure...), well, you can see the dilemma. Here's another kicker: and I know, I know, people are going to say, 'well gee, why didn't you think of that before you moved there?', and I don't know why we didn't, but we didn't....the kicker is, those student loans are going to start coming due pretty soon- we're talking quite a large, monthly amount...no way to have it deferred (because he's working), and it's going to financially devastate us when that happens- and again, he can't hope to make more than he's making now, in his current job- I have hunted high and low for a job, had four interviews and didn't get any of them (I'm a paralegal), and there is honestly not much in the way of jobs to be had here. I'm middle-aged, and WalMart would much prefer to hire 18-20 year olds.

So...there you have it. And here is what I would like to ask anyone who reads this....

1. You're in a job that you can go nowhere with, in an area where there is nothing else, and there is the possibility of being furloughed (they have all been receiving emails that it could possibly happen). Do you bite the dust, and possibly look for something else, somewhere else?

2. You bought a house...and you know that there is no way to keep up two households, or even to pay both a house payment and rent somewhere else...all "the Right Thing To Do" aside, do you let the house go, or try to hang on as long as you can?

3. I am of the opinion that people have to be adaptable, that there is no 'perfect scenario' that most people will fall into, that will give them almost all that they wish for. We are in a truly beautiful area, that we really do love- the other places are in the general vicinity (by that, I mean within a couple hundred miles, so...), but, again..we bought a damn house. Damn it. lol.

My bottom line question, would be this; he has a degree he has worked hard for, in a field that he really loves. The job he is in now is....a job, and nothing more. But being the type of job it is, it's more secure, well, I would think it is, than one in the public sector. Although I was told recently by someone that the job he has is really no more secure than any other job, you know? However....he cannot move up in this job, to make up for those student loans. I can't seem to find anything, and believe me, I've tried. He has even thought of getting a second job, but in all honesty, there aren't hardly any of those, either. By taking a job in his chosen field, there is room to move up. In this economy, to move around, as it were, to another job is a scary thing. But there is no other way, than to take the chance (what a chance!).

So please...no lectures. No, 'well you should have thought of this ahead of time', because well, yeah, we should have, but obviously we didn't!

So, opinions everyone- what would you do if you were in our situation?

[jwiley]

1. if he is miserable, you cannot afford your bills then yes you look for something else, even if it is somewhere else.
2. You can rent out the house, or try to sale it, even if you lose a little money on the house that is much better than ruining your credit with a foreclosure. Unless you have no interest in owning another home in the next few years.
3.I run across people in my area that insist on staying in Fort Collins due to how much they love it here, they work 3 part time jobs to get by while putting their student loans on deferment forever. However at some point having a roof over your head and an ability to actually enjoy life a little bit should be more important than the scenery around your house.

No job is fully secure, while government jobs are the closest thing to a fully secure job, that may go away with the budget cuts they are going to have to go through. In the end if his degree is in a field he loves, they pay better in that field, and he is able to find a job, plus there is a chance he could eventually move up than what is the holdup? you like seeing your husband suffer trying to keep you in a pretty place?

[jaypee]

- He took out a student loan and got an advanced degree, he should be looking to get a job in that field of study (esp since it's in SW Dev)
- Hired for a job that won't start for another 3 months sounds scary ... lots can happen before then (company may rescind offer, the position went on hold, etc)
- Put the house up for sale and, if you have to, offer to rent-back if you need to stay an extra month or so
- You don't have a job that will sustain your lifestyle so you have to make changes -- people do this all the time.

[I_Love_LI_but]

Originally Posted by mostie

I have to say that I really hate going into detail about my personal life- .....there's just something disturbing about plastering things on the internet, lol. However...hopefully, I can go into some detail without going into detail detail, you know?

Here's the scoop; husband has a job with the fed. gov. - he's been with them for four years. We moved a year ago due to a transfer he was trying to get, to an area we really wanted to be in...well, to a state we wanted to be in, but we do love it here. We bought a house a month after landing, because we figured this was going to be 'it', end of the line, and we were happy with that. Can anyone see where this is leading? lol...ok, so the job he has now is roughly the same job he had where we moved from, but he took a step down in order for us to be here. When he did the phone interview with the boss here, he was told that there was plenty of work, etc. (We live in a small town, but the work they have is due to people from all over the area coming here). Well, a week or so after starting work, he discovered that no, there isn't a lot of work here- there's very little, in fact. For someone like my husband who enjoys being really busy and feeling a sense of accomplishment from working hard- and, well, working for what he's paid for - this was devastating. When I say there isn't much to do, I mean that there are four people doing the work that one or two, honestly, could do without really breaking much of a sweat. I won't go into detail about how he has reacted to this, but it isn't good at all, and it's been very hard for him, very hard. And on we go. In this job that he is in, he can never move 'up'. He is at the top of where it goes, and the money isn't great- although we knew this coming in. He is in a different field at work than he would be in for his degree, he will have a Master's in early November in Software Development/Programmer/Mgmt., that part always confused me, lol. Six months after November, his student loans are going to come due- I don't need to tell you, they are monstrous....and the payments will be no easy feat, that's for sure. Because he is working full-time, he won't be able to have them put off for any amount of time. Looking around where we are, and he has been looking, there are no jobs in his field within 150 miles of here- well, maybe a few around 100, I take that back, but very few.

So...after laying all of that groundwork, here is the issue:

He has been applying for jobs in his field in our state, as well as the neighboring state- and he has been offered a job at a major company, but he hasn't received the offer letter yet (they told him that it could be a while), and the job wouldn't start until January, but he did receive a verbal offer, talked to the hiring manager twice, and he was told they loved him and it's a go. He has also received interest from a couple of other companies, one of which he had a phone interview, and now they want him to go for a face-to-face interview next week, 250 miles from where we live. The ultimate situation would be finding something in our area- but truth is, there isn't hardly anything, not in his field at all. If he wants to work in his chosen field, it would necessitate uprooting, and moving....again. And now that we bought a house (which in all honesty I am kicking myself for, wishing so much that we had waited-because it nails you down, for sure...), well, you can see the dilemma. Here's another kicker: and I know, I know, people are going to say, 'well gee, why didn't you think of that before you moved there?', and I don't know why we didn't, but we didn't....the kicker is, those student loans are going to start coming due pretty soon- we're talking quite a large, monthly amount...no way to have it deferred (because he's working), and it's going to financially devastate us when that happens- and again, he can't hope to make more than he's making now, in his current job- I have hunted high and low for a job, had four interviews and didn't get any of them (I'm a paralegal), and there is honestly not much in the way of jobs to be had here. I'm middle-aged, and WalMart would much prefer to hire 18-20 year olds.

So...there you have it. And here is what I would like to ask anyone who reads this....

1. You're in a job that you can go nowhere with, in an area where there is nothing else, and there is the possibility of being furloughed (they have all been receiving emails that it could possibly happen). Do you bite the dust, and possibly look for something else, somewhere else?

2. You bought a house...and you know that there is no way to keep up two households, or even to pay both a house payment and rent somewhere else...all "the Right Thing To Do" aside, do you let the house go, or try to hang on as long as you can?

3. I am of the opinion that people have to be adaptable, that there is no 'perfect scenario' that most people will fall into, that will give them almost all that they wish for. We are in a truly beautiful area, that we really do love- the other places are in the general vicinity (by that, I mean within a couple hundred miles, so...), but, again..we bought a damn house. Damn it. lol.

My bottom line question, would be this; he has a degree he has worked hard for, in a field that he really loves. The job he is in now is....a job, and nothing more. But being the type of job it is, it's more secure, well, I would think it is, than one in the public sector. Although I was told recently by someone that the job he has is really no more secure than any other job, you know? However....he cannot move up in this job, to make up for those student loans. I can't seem to find anything, and believe me, I've tried. He has even thought of getting a second job, but in all honesty, there aren't hardly any of those, either. By taking a job in his chosen field, there is room to move up. In this economy, to move around, as it were, to another job is a scary thing. But there is no other way, than to take the chance (what a chance!).

So please...no lectures. No, 'well you should have thought of this ahead of time', because well, yeah, we should have, but obviously we didn't!

So, opinions everyone- what would you do if you were in our situation?

Maybe your husband can get the monthly payment of the student loan lowered temporarily if he shows the loan holder he cannot pay the full payment and all the other bills at the same time?

I would say he cannot look for another job far away until you have sold the house and you are really free to move. Otherwise you are going to ruin your credit with a foreclosure. Also, I have heard banks will send you a 1099 Misc Income form and consider their loss your income and you will have to pay income tax on the money you didn't pay on the mortgage you owe, so if you owe $300K and walk away you could end up getting an IRS bill and a state income tax bill for the income taxes on $300K so you won't walk away scot free (please note I am not clear on the mechanics of how this happens but I know it happens). So I would say the first thing to do if he has to look far away for a job is to sell the house, get into a rental, then job hunt far away.

[TFW46]

I'm sorry for your situation but I'm trying to understand what happened. You say your husband knew, within "a week or so", that the job wasnt what he'd expected -- yet you bought a house "a month or so" after moving there. And he used a student loan to get a degree in a different field and the payback is going to be a financial burden.

My recommendation would be that you take some time to decide what you really need/want to do and dont rush into something else again. Stay put for a while and see if your husband can adjust -- and you can continue looking for work.

[mostie]

Originally Posted by TFW46

I'm sorry for your situation but I'm trying to understand what happened. You say your husband knew, within "a week or so", that the job wasnt what he'd expected -- yet you bought a house "a month or so" after moving there. And he used a student loan to get a degree in a different field and the payback is going to be a financial burden.

My recommendation would be that you take some time to decide what you really need/want to do and dont rush into something else again. Stay put for a while and see if your husband can adjust -- and you can continue looking for work.

He thought that maybe it was just a slow time, he had no idea that it was that way ALL of the time- after a couple of months, he realized that when he was told there was 'plenty of work' there, that it...well, wasn't true, lol.

To the poster who said that if my husband is miserable, why am I keeping him in a place I think is pretty, or something along those lines- actually, we both love it here. I am from a different state, he is from here- but I love the state as well, and have adopted it as my own. This state was the 'dream' for us, I told him that we can be happy anywhere, we HAVE been happy other places (except Omaha, NE- NOBODY is happy there. NOBODY!)- and that his misery at this job is positively not worth the house, or the scenery, or anything else. I am, honestly, a totally supportive wife. Truth is, although I love it here, I would be fine with us not owning this house, or any other in the future (long story)-I'm the type that, having been through very rough financial situations in my life, don't ever want to feel like a 'thing', be it house, car, place, or anything else has the power to devastate me if I lose it. So I would be more than willing to relocate to a new job that would make him happy- but...like a lot of people in this economy, we're scared, lol.

[TFW46]

I still think that perhaps you and your husband have a tendency to act before you think. And my suggestion still stands: that you take some time to decide what you really need/want to do and dont rush into something else again. Stay put for a while and see if your husband can adjust -- and you can continue looking for work.

[jobaba]

Originally Posted by mostie

He thought that maybe it was just a slow time, he had no idea that it was that way ALL of the time- after a couple of months, he realized that when he was told there was 'plenty of work' there, that it...well, wasn't true, lol.

Contracts come and go for companies. It could be busy next year.

I once left a good company because work was VERY slow due to our contract being in transition. In retrospect, probably one of the worst career decisions I've made in my life.

When I was a young whipper-snapper, I couldn't deal with it. But now I know that is what a good company is about, they will keep their workers around even during lean times.

And he's been with them for over 5 years right? He'd rather work for a company that puts him to slave labor of 60 hour weeks and then when the work dries up, lets him go? Because I've been there too.

[beera]

If I were you, I would not move right now. This potential job offer, is it in your town or far off? If he has this job coming in January, I suggest sitting tight, in the meantime YOU look for work where this job is (if it's not in your area).

If the job is in the area, HOLD OUT for it, a few months is nothing in the grand scope of things. Then you don't have to sell or do anything else.

If the job is in another area, your husband can move there first, then you wrap things up and head to where he is and find a job.

Either way, no matter what, the two of you need to slow down, and if you move somewhere else, try waiting 6 months before buying a home.

You can also claim "hardship" and pay a lower amount on your student loans until things stabilize.

[horsechick71]

For a potential offer..never in a million years would I move.

He may have to take on a part time for the student loans. Also you have a 5 year grace period to put into deferrment.