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Over the past couple of years I have begun to have a problem with jealousy...I don't recall ever feeling this way in the past, at least not for an extended period of time...and DEFINITELY not this often.
Anywho, the most recent example happened today. I have a friend that lives out of state and we have the same type of job...same job title, different companies. I started searching for a job title called a CRA...its the next step above what I do now. My friend has been looking for one since last year.
Anywho, she's 6 years younger than me and super smart. She just got contacted for a CRA job this week through LinkedIn. Why am I super PISSED??? It is the strangest feeling. I feel as if her getting this position first makes her better than me...and the fact that she's younger and I've been working longer than her makes it worse.
(On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got)
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
I think it's normal to be envious of someone's good fortune, especially if you're not 100% happy with your own situation. There could be an element of "It's not fair!" or "Why can't I get a great job like this?" or even "Hey, she's supposed to be behind me, not ahead!" And the bragging is insensitive so I think you're entitled to wallow in the jealousy a little bit. But also work hard on improving your job and/or getting a new one. Maybe you can look at your profile/resume vs hers and see what might be missing?
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
Eh... jealousy happens. I think it's what you do with that emotion is what counts. I don't think the feelings you have make you seem like a "miserable" person. When you're working hard towards something and you see someone get there first, I think it's natural to feel a bit jealous. Maybe this will give you the impetus to make some major moves. CRA as in monitor? What's your position now, CRC? From what I can gather, a lot of would-be CRA's were in QA or a coordinator and just started networking with their monitors/CROs... If I'm way off about this last part, just ignore me
She got lucky. You haven't been so lucky. That's basically our job market in a nutshell, right now. Right place, right time. As much as the boot-strappers don't want to admit it.
One can hope your luck will come soon. But that is not a given. Keep trying hard, but I wish I could say there was a quantifiable way to ensure that you get as equally good a job. But there isn't.
Eh... jealousy happens. I think it's what you do with that emotion is what counts. I don't think the feelings you have make you seem like a "miserable" person. When you're working hard towards something and you see someone get there first, I think it's natural to feel a bit jealous. Maybe this will give you the impetus to make some major moves. CRA as in monitor? What's your position now, CRC? From what I can gather, a lot of would-be CRA's were in QA or a coordinator and just started networking with their monitors/CROs... If I'm way off about this last part, just ignore me
Over the past couple of years I have begun to have a problem with jealousy...I don't recall ever feeling this way in the past, at least not for an extended period of time...and DEFINITELY not this often.
Anywho, the most recent example happened today. I have a friend that lives out of state and we have the same type of job...same job title, different companies. I started searching for a job title called a CRA...its the next step above what I do now. My friend has been looking for one since last year.
Anywho, she's 6 years younger than me and super smart. She just got contacted for a CRA job this week through LinkedIn. Why am I super PISSED??? It is the strangest feeling. I feel as if her getting this position first makes her better than me...and the fact that she's younger and I've been working longer than her makes it worse.
(On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got)
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
easier said than done but you realy can't be concerned about others. i have a sister who is 4 years younger than me who makes way more money than i do and has a much better job than i do.its funny cuz at times i've been jealous of her however at the same time i know i would be miserable doing her job and would not want to put in the hours she puts in so how can i really be mad about that?
your situation is a little different in that you and your friend apparently have essentially the same job inthe same industyr so its more tempting to make the comparison betwene you and him/her.
try to thin of it as a positive thing though your friend is having success and that should make you happy. also look at it this way, if your friend has a better job paying more maybe they can help get you an inn at tat company if your looking to make more money and work for that company
First of all, I would stop calling yourself a "friend."
Friends are elevated and enjoy seeing things come to those they love.
Next, I do think you are ahead of the curve. Most people would not have the insight to realize that unhappiness derived from the joy of others tends to come from an unhappiness within themselves.
Her getting the job says nothing bad about you. Focus on what is great in your life and avoid making comparisons. Especially with people you love.
Over the past couple of years I have begun to have a problem with jealousy...I don't recall ever feeling this way in the past, at least not for an extended period of time...and DEFINITELY not this often.
Anywho, the most recent example happened today. I have a friend that lives out of state and we have the same type of job...same job title, different companies. I started searching for a job title called a CRA...its the next step above what I do now. My friend has been looking for one since last year.
Anywho, she's 6 years younger than me and super smart. She just got contacted for a CRA job this week through LinkedIn. Why am I super PISSED??? It is the strangest feeling. I feel as if her getting this position first makes her better than me...and the fact that she's younger and I've been working longer than her makes it worse.
(On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got)
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
Correction: "they" should be "I". And the answer is yes.
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