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3 1/2 hour drive/mega bus ride means you could easily make a day trip if you needed to.
I was in your same predicament for the past 7 months. One of the worst experiences in the world
is being away from family AND being in a city that you really don't enjoy living in.
Life is short man. You need to be in a place you love. You need to be closer to family.
Start stacking your money if you haven't and start applying for new jobs.
I completely agree with you.. I think I'm going to try to stick it out in Clt for a couple more months then ask for a transfer to our NYC office. I know my manager in Clt is not going to want me to go but I am literally miserable. I don't care if it's higher COL, I am young right now so I will make it work. Plus my company does pay COLA, which should help if I move forward with the move..
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
Does your family know about these big plans of yours? I would not uproot my family just because my sister deemed it was necessary for mom to move with her to the most expensive state in America on a whim.
Yes, they do actually. They are all eager for me to make the move.. like I said, they all LOVE California. Reasons being 1. The weather is so much warmer, especially with my older parents. 2. There is a huge vietnamese community over there.. easier for them to get around instead of having me be the translator for everything.
Finding a job where you fit and get along with everyone isn't always easy. Is moving your mom to stay with you an option? Have you made efforts to make new friends? Perhaps a few more visits home a year would do you gokd.
I completely agree with you.. I think I'm going to try to stick it out in Clt for a couple more months then ask for a transfer to our NYC office. I know my manager in Clt is not going to want me to go but I am literally miserable. I don't care if it's higher COL, I am young right now so I will make it work. Plus my company does pay COLA, which should help if I move forward with the move..
Yes, they do actually. They are all eager for me to make the move.. like I said, they all LOVE California. Reasons being 1. The weather is so much warmer, especially with my older parents. 2. There is a huge vietnamese community over there.. easier for them to get around instead of having me be the translator for everything.
They are eager for you to make the move? Did they say anything about everyone else moving there? Will your brothers be able to get jobs, apartments, etc out there? How will/do their children feel about moving there? If everyone loves California, how come no one in the family has made the move yet- are they just waiting for you to do so?
Depending on where you relocate in California, the weather is not always warm. Having a vietnamese community nearby might make things easier for your parents but you also have to make sure they have access to quality medical care as well as being able to afford California. If California is the place that you are thinking of living, you'll need to start researching places and getting information so that you can contrast and compare the two cities. As someone said, visiting a place is different from actually living there.
They are eager for you to make the move? Did they say anything about everyone else moving there? Will your brothers be able to get jobs, apartments, etc out there? How will/do their children feel about moving there? If everyone loves California, how come no one in the family has made the move yet- are they just waiting for you to do so?
Depending on where you relocate in California, the weather is not always warm. Having a vietnamese community nearby might make things easier for your parents but you also have to make sure they have access to quality medical care as well as being able to afford California. If California is the place that you are thinking of living, you'll need to start researching places and getting information so that you can contrast and compare the two cities. As someone said, visiting a place is different from actually living there.
Yes, they will move. Their kids are young so they have no option lol. And I'm the only one so far in my fam that graduated college and has good employment opportunities, my brothers do not. So they are waiting for me to make the move. They haven't moved first because my mom is still here and they do not have the ability to care for her, working manufacturing or labor jobs without my help.
And like I said, I'm the type of person that will make something work if I set my mind to it. I've lived in California back in high school for a few years so I'm familiar. Why do people always bring up the fact how scarty it is to live in nyc or ca because it's "so much more expensive"? I understand that, same goes for Boston, yet these cities are some of the most populous..if others can live there and make it work, why can't I if that's what I want to do ?? -_-
9 to 5? standard? I don't know anyone that has those hours anymore. Most places I know of start earlier or have you work later so that you can take a lunch. I work in healthcare, but not in a clinical setting. I start around 7:30 and work till 4:30 or sometimes 5pm. I have a half hour lunch tossed in there, where I clock out for lunch. Many times I am working on projects at home as well.
The problems with meeting people, will that not be the same back in Boston? People get married, have BF's and GF's in Charlotte, is that any different then Boston? Many 25 year old's have started their life with others making it hard to befriend. Is that not what your friends back in Boston have also done?
You may end up going back and finding that all your friends are on to other things, or have moved away from the area to develop their own careers. As a single person will you relate to your married friends that may have kids now? How will you feel when you want to go out to the club and they can not do that anymore?
I think you may be searching for this life that you used to have and what you are going to find out is that people have moved on. They have new friends, new life situations, new families. It will not be the same as when you lived there before. Even if you are visiting from time to time and see some of your old friends it will not be the same if you are there full time.
I am talking as someone that never left the old city that I spent my entire life in. I am still here. Plenty of old friends come by to visit, and a few try to move back. They find that it is just not the same. Their memories are just that, memories.
As far as your mom I am betting your brothers can do more than you think even if they have kids. I am the father of 6 kids and having children has not slowed my wife and myself down. It gets easier as they get older and our youngest will soon turn 9. My dad is 77 and my mom is 74. They are healthy but it is on my mind that they will not be here forever.
While I am still here, my parents left the area 12 years ago. My four sisters left the area as well. One of my three brothers left the area. I have two brothers that are in the area but not in the same city.
True that you only have one mom. You also have only one life to live. Think about what is best for you and your life. You mention a great job that you love. Many many people wish they had a job that they love. Those can be hard to come by. You seem to have lucked out. Realize that the job may not be there forever though.
You probably live in a lower cost of living area than Boston. I live in a high COL area. I know what that is like. Many people end up leaving here to find a place that cost less to live. You seem to have found that. I bet you could build a real nice life for yourself right where you are now. Many people wish they could do just that.
If I was in your place I would complete atleast 3yrs & then start looking around for new opportunities. It seems to be an unwritten rule to wait for roughly 3yrs to build trust & good references. Also, it might affect your benefits like the 401k. If you move too soon then the next company might think you are unreliable. You should have a solid reason for changing jobs like moving up in your career & better salary, benefits, commute. Close to family is also good enough reason but if you were so attached to them why would you move away in the first place & what if the company relocates you for short or long term? Would you leave that job as well. These are the questions that will come into their minds when interviewing you.
Why do people always bring up the fact how scarty it is to live in nyc or ca because it's "so much more expensive"? I understand that, same goes for Boston, yet these cities are some of the most populous..if others can live there and make it work, why can't I if that's what I want to do ?? -_-
Living in a place that you love is very important for someone your age.
I spent 6 months in Dallas and hated every minute of it. I knew after a week
of arriving that this was not the place for me. Yet...numerous people tried to talk me out
of leaving. They all kept saying...give it some time......try meetup....get out more...do this and do that.
Yet, the longer I stayed the greater the desire to leave.
You don't need to stay with a company X years. I left my last company after 6 months and had multiple people contact me for jobs afterwards. You stay at a company as long as you are growing and developing. Once that stops....you move on.
Its your life. You must do what is best for you. Nobody else will.
Start stacking your money....
Make a list of top 3 places you want to live.....
Plan a two or three day trip to those destinations.....
Do an online jobs search in those cities to see what the employment situation is like...
One you have enough money saved for at least 3 months of rent or a new job lined up...
Make your move.
Where you live plays a huge role in your happiness.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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