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Personally people like you annoy the crap out of me and I would do everything in my power to avoid you. It's one thing to smile and say hi, but I do NOT like chit-chat and the people who insist on it whenever they are around me get on my very last nerve.
I know you don't mean anything by it and it's just your personality, but you need to realize that not everybody shares your love of socializing. Some people just want to go in, do their job and go home. Perhaps you should feel people out and learn which ones don't mind chatting with you and which ones would just rather you left them alone.
Incredibly well said. I would rep you but I have been told to "spread it around" more. But consider yourself repped.
Although it's freaking weird that she's so paranoid that she tries to hide on the road.
I don't think it's weird at all. If I had a co-worker who drove me crazy all the livelong day, then I was on my way home and turned around to find her right behind me, I'd hide too, to avoid being pulled into yet another unwanted chatfest. I'd duck into a store, turn down a different road... ANYTHING to avoid her. If you are so annoying that people are hiding from you, you should learn from that. And PS: They're not the one with the problem. You are.
The more I read OPS responses, the more Im starting to see the real problem here.
At first, I thought it was a matter of being social and friendly, but OP, Im starting to think your definition of friendly is FORCING conversation on people, and that is wrong in the work place.
Some people have so many problems ( we all have problems ) that sometimes an overly chipper/chatty " bubbly " person is the last thing they want to deal with, you never know whos having marital problems, who has a sick relative, whos kid is having problem at school, ETC ETC, the last thing on their mind is you, your personal life, your cats, or anything like that.
You also said you have ADD and like to " liven it up " and talk to keep YOU entertained, Thats incredibly selfish of you, PEOPLE ARE NOT THERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT AND ENTERTAINMENT, youre forcing your overbearing personality on others, and nobody likes that.
We have a guy in our office, wel call him " Dwayne " Dwayne starts every sentence with " I like to keep it light " thats great and all, but after a few minutes, everybody starts to groan when he walks into a room, bubbly can only go so far, and usually goes from cute to aggravating in lightning speeds.
Well since this thread, I have been extremely quiet at work. I only smile if I pass someone, speak only if they say something to me first and just be extra careful to not talk or say anything that could be deemed unprofessional in the slightest bit. Oh and I am trying to only use the bathroom during my lunch.
What I have observed...
-My boss is only nice to me if she needs me to do something she cannot figure out.
-She is downright rude if I attempt to ask her anything. Example- I walked to her cube to ask if I could place an order and get a credit card, and she just said "Go" without even asking what I needed.
-She does talk and say Hi to another coworker. Just not me. Which is fine, I have not been speaking to her. I just smile and move along with my day. I no longer say hi and bye if I pass her in the parking lot.
- I have been taking the long way home or leaving before her so she cannot accuse me of following her home, even though I live right past where she lives.
- I do things exactly how she requests even if I know they are incorrect. She sends everything by email, so I have documentation of her requests.
I am just going with the attitude that it is just a paycheck. And a paycheck is very important.
My work is completed. I take on extra work just to not be bored. I am always offering to help with any tasks. Also the first to volunteer for overtime.
Those are excellent qualities....No doubt why she is trying to get you to do the rest of what she is asking....You would be a near perfect employee...and perhaps the next promotion is yours
Regardless how you feel about it, as you are obviously taking it personal.....It is a business...you are possibly distracting folks by over-sharing. Keep it professional....keep the personal chit chat for off work hours.
Give some examples of what you were normally saying to customers/co-workers??
I had a girlfriend that used to tell her co-workers everything about her personal life...dating, meeting guys on the internet on singles sites...it was embarrassing to observe...She eventually got fired...Which I had figured would happen.
Keep your private life private...work life professional...separate the two.
And, as an aside.....you mentioned your nature is to over-share, being over friendly etc....Often folks with those type boundaries have gone through traumatic situations as children...abuse, alcoholic parents....any number of things, even ADD.
If this is true for you...perhaps do some online research and reading and self-searching to figure out how to address and heal in a healthy way..
I was always very friendly....but in my field it was an asset, trying to get people to open up to me came naturally...Maybe you need to look at a different work environment where your zest for life is appreciated?
Right now this job fits where I live. I work close to home and my kids daycare and schools. I do not have the money and time to go back To 45-60 min commutes
Then, you need to do as your boss has instructed....regardless how you feel about it. You sound to me like a pleasant person....I think a receptionist job in an area like law, hospital sitting....places where they look for personable people....which helps clients relax...would be good for you. Look around....there has to be something close to your location. Good luck
I always ask people about themselves, compliment their outfits, bags, hair, etc. I am a chatty, social person that likes to meet new people. I get tired of my life and welcome hearing about everyone else's children, pets, etc.
You are defending yourself constantly. You are not at work to make new friends. You are the first person they see, in an office setting, in essence you are their first impression.
You have yet to disclose the type business it is....if you were at a trucking company, or a car wash maybe that much chatter would be ok.
But, at a professional level, in a professional atmosphere....you have got to refrain from making personal comments about the customers....their clothes, etc. In some places that is considered very inappropriate, even harassment.
In fact, I am having a hard time thinking of work environments where you could get so personal with your clients as a receptionist...I can think of several where your banter would be totally out of line...Mortuary, police dept. Doctor's office, dental office...too many to write here.
Also, it seems from your post where you mentioned you never visit with co-workers, or even have a buddy to lunch with that you are totally opposite with your co-workers. This seems so contradictory to how you describe yourself as a chatty over effusive personality. Are you avoiding them, or are they avoiding you??
I am not trying to hurt your feelings....but I think you are lonely, and feel like an outsider at work...so maybe you are over-compensating with your captive audience of customers. Maybe seriously give that some thought.
If you are to turn this around, as your boss has asked you to do you will have to challenge yourself.
Re-frame this request...consider it a work goal.......Instead of sharing your personal info....Greet your costumer, "Hello...Welcome to bla, bla...MS. so and so will be right with you. Would you like a coffee? ...Let me know if there is anything that I can do for you while you wait."
Beyond that...let the costumer guide the interaction...You are there representing your company, in the best interest of your companies customers....Beyond that is out of line.....unless the costumer says..."Say.,..how are those rowdy little kittens doing" "How's your family"...Then you can share that. Otherwise, look busy.
I can understand what you are about...you are using work as your outlet....You need to find some outside activities, interests.....beyond work, beyond home life and parental obligations.
Life can feel very mundane if we are not having our social, artistic or personal interests satisfied. Look for opportunities that will embrace your outgoing personality. Try volunteering at a nursing home...visiting elderly folks who don't have family...who would love your personality and open sharing...A second might be as a volunteer at the local hospital, you could help patients go outside, walk around...etc.....or homeless shelters...
I believe that You would begin to feel more valued, it will make you happier personally, and especially because you will be helping someone else feel less lonely. Good luck on this...keep updating
I knew someone would beat me to it. Being familiar with other CDF forums and threads, I'm calling Drama Queen syndrome. Your bosses request doesn't surprise me one bit. She is spot on with trying to curtail any preoccupation from coworkers or clients with your tales or woe. Are you really surprised by this? You've been told numerous times on here how you come off to people,so I'm not buying that it's a lack of self actualization. Posters don't tell you that to be mean, they tell you so you can do something about it. Geesh, even your screen name is defeatist. Your not low on luck. Your full of incompetent decisions and codependency issues which you refuse to do anything about rather then to analyze all the ways your "unlucky" life can garner more sympathy. You post and overshare hoping people will cosign your BS. It's obvious that someone needs to provide a filter,because you either really don't get it, or you have zero self respect resulting in the inability to respect appropriate boundaries.
What's with your obsession about where your boss lives? Why do you need to know exactly where she lives? It's not as if she is going to invite you in for tea. Even if you travel down the same road, one of you will may exit sooner than the other person. Do you travel in the same direction when you pick up your children from daycare? You may live in the same general neighborhood but since she has made it clear she doesn't want to interact with you outside of work, just let her be.
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