Is being quiet/reserved a negative thing? (employee, credit, average)

[MissLucky]

So I just completed my annual performance evaluation and while it was overall very good, I fail to understand why manager felt necessary to mention my reserved/quiet nature in each point he addressed in the report.

"MissLucky has a very quiet personality, however for the period under review she has produced a high quality work blah, blah, blah."

Same thing for evaluation point 2; "MissLucky is very reserved in nature and this has in no way impacted her abilities to do 1, 2, 3 blah, blah, blah."

Once again for point 3, "MissLucky is quiet but.." -the praises continued-.

He ended by recommending a number of public speaking classes I should take before our next evaluation in 12 months.


I would have understood if I was blind. Or deaf. Or retarded. I like my quiet nature and do not appreciate it pointed out as if it's a disability or disadvantage. Most supposedly social/outgoing people I see around here are clearly fake. I like what I am. I'm in no way scared of speaking/speaking out, I just like to speak when I feel I have something meaningful to say. He once verbally said that I needed to reach out more and "have coffee with more people. People have expressed their disappointments that every time they ask to catch up with you for coffee or something, you always decline". Very long lecture about how I need to come out of my shell followed. Well, I don't like to go and have coffee with random people just for a show. I like having coffee with people that I actually like having coffee with.

So now I sit here wondering; why the heck is this big deal? I obviously exceeded my expectations, met my deadlines, produced a high quality work, but apparently everyone is hung up on my "quiet nature".

Can anyone explain how having numerous coffee sessions with colleagues and random chichat can help accomplish organization's goals?? Any introverts here with experience to share on how you with deal with -unwanted- socialization at workplace?

[Alley01]

It is just a way not to give a perfect performance review. Not sure if scores are assigned to each thing, but in most businesses including the department I work in will never give a 5 on anything. If they do, and there is a bonus system then they are out more money. There are people that deserve such ratings, but we have to nitpick on certain things to justify giving a lower score. It sucks big time. I value quiet, efficient colleagues much more than the ones that gossip all the time. Seriously, there are some colleagues that are always on personal calls, having conversations with others that are not work-related, and it is no wonder that they never get any work done.

Regardless, taking speaking classes is not a benefit unless your field requires you to become more of a talker. It is just something that they suggested to make their criticisms seem okay.

Performance Reviews are an absolute joke - because they are rarely honest and relevant.

[Mt-7]

Yes, they are absolutely a waste of time.
Especially if they include a peer review and it is just full of gossip and malicious envy.

[nightcrawler]

oh please, dont pay his dumb ass any mind.
adventually we are all going to die and none of this crap is going to have of mattered.

[Northside904]

Originally Posted by MissLucky

So I just completed my annual performance evaluation and while it was overall very good, I fail to understand why manager felt necessary to mention my reserved/quiet nature in each point he addressed in the report.

"MissLucky has a very quiet personality, however for the period under review she has produced a high quality work blah, blah, blah."

Same thing for evaluation point 2; "MissLucky is very reserved in nature and this has in no way impacted her abilities to do 1, 2, 3 blah, blah, blah."

Once again for point 3, "MissLucky is quiet but.." -the praises continued-.

He ended by recommending a number of public speaking classes I should take before our next evaluation in 12 months.


I would have understood if I was blind. Or deaf. Or retarded. I like my quiet nature and do not appreciate it pointed out as if it's a disability or disadvantage. Most supposedly social/outgoing people I see around here are clearly fake. I like what I am. I'm in no way scared of speaking/speaking out, I just like to speak when I feel I have something meaningful to say. He once verbally said that I needed to reach out more and "have coffee with more people. People have expressed their disappointments that every time they ask to catch up with you for coffee or something, you always decline". Very long lecture about how I need to come out of my shell followed. Well, I don't like to go and have coffee with random people just for a show. I like having coffee with people that I actually like having coffee with.

So now I sit here wondering; why the heck is this big deal? I obviously exceeded my expectations, met my deadlines, produced a high quality work, but apparently everyone is hung up on my "quiet nature".

Can anyone explain how having numerous coffee sessions with colleagues and random chichat can help accomplish organization's goals?? Any introverts here with experience to share on how you with deal with -unwanted- socialization at workplace?

In my book, you deserve a 5+ for the simple fact that you do your job with excellence and I can respect that. They just don't want to recognize you for the gem that you are. If you have high marks overall, keep up the good work. Don't worry about his other nitpicks. I see nothing wrong with you getting down to business at work. After all, you go to work to WORK, not chit-chat or have coffee. If they can't handle that, that's their problem and not yours.

[lovetheduns]

Originally Posted by MissLucky

So I just completed my annual performance evaluation and while it was overall very good, I fail to understand why manager felt necessary to mention my reserved/quiet nature in each point he addressed in the report.

"MissLucky has a very quiet personality, however for the period under review she has produced a high quality work blah, blah, blah."

Same thing for evaluation point 2; "MissLucky is very reserved in nature and this has in no way impacted her abilities to do 1, 2, 3 blah, blah, blah."

Once again for point 3, "MissLucky is quiet but.." -the praises continued-.

He ended by recommending a number of public speaking classes I should take before our next evaluation in 12 months.


I would have understood if I was blind. Or deaf. Or retarded. I like my quiet nature and do not appreciate it pointed out as if it's a disability or disadvantage. Most supposedly social/outgoing people I see around here are clearly fake. I like what I am. I'm in no way scared of speaking/speaking out, I just like to speak when I feel I have something meaningful to say. He once verbally said that I needed to reach out more and "have coffee with more people. People have expressed their disappointments that every time they ask to catch up with you for coffee or something, you always decline". Very long lecture about how I need to come out of my shell followed. Well, I don't like to go and have coffee with random people just for a show. I like having coffee with people that I actually like having coffee with.

So now I sit here wondering; why the heck is this big deal? I obviously exceeded my expectations, met my deadlines, produced a high quality work, but apparently everyone is hung up on my "quiet nature".

Can anyone explain how having numerous coffee sessions with colleagues and random chichat can help accomplish organization's goals?? Any introverts here with experience to share on how you with deal with -unwanted- socialization at workplace?

It depends on what your job is.

Not being quiet does not mean you are engaging in chit chat. It also means (where I come from) that you voice concerns, possible solutions, ideas, and even questions.

Those are the ones (where I work) that move ahead but I have worked in a project management/business systems analyst environment where you can't be reserved and just sit back and do your job quietly.

[lovetheduns]

Originally Posted by Alley01

It is just a way not to give a perfect performance review. Not sure if scores are assigned to each thing, but in most businesses including the department I work in will never give a 5 on anything. If they do, and there is a bonus system then they are out more money. There are people that deserve such ratings, but we have to nitpick on certain things to justify giving a lower score. It sucks big time. I value quiet, efficient colleagues much more than the ones that gossip all the time. Seriously, there are some colleagues that are always on personal calls, having conversations with others that are not work-related, and it is no wonder that they never get any work done.

Regardless, taking speaking classes is not a benefit unless your field requires you to become more of a talker. It is just something that they suggested to make their criticisms seem okay.

Performance Reviews are an absolute joke - because they are rarely honest and relevant.

So.. I wonder if you have ever been in management?

I hate review time-- partly because it takes a significant amount of time to really write meaningful reviews-- especially since rarely will it truly be appreciated.

I try to be very honest in my reviews-- and generally speaking it is not new news based on the sessions I have with my employees throughout the year. To some it is new news-- those that tend to not really listen to feedback. People also get review-itis-- where they think a great job 2 weeks prior to a review is going to merit them an awesome review when the rest of the year was average, but I digress.

Quite frankly, we can all conjecture why your manager gave you the comments about your nature and how it impacgts or doesnt impact your performance.

If you are uncertain about what your manager meant you should ask him directly. Explain you are trying to work on that or whatever... then you should have a dialogue about what he thinks is most important or what may present a problem with your performance.

If you don't do that you will end up missing the mark in what he may think you understand.

I had an employee that had problems with communicating. He never agreed and he thought it was some personal thing against him due to an issue that had transpired in the past. What he didn't understand is that he had a tendency to ramble and lose focus during meetings he led or presentations. People would up coming back to him for clarification and when it was still unclear they would come to me or someone else on the team. I had to give him some very specific examples since he didn't believe this happened. I also provided the feedback I had been give by others who worked with him (my boss, our client management teams, etc).

I told him he could take it in a negative light that we were just trying to keep him down or he could really examine what we were trying to say and explain. He had two choices really--- 1. he could just ignore it, ***** about it with his family and friends and in the end he would get the same feedback for other reviews 2. he could work on something he felt was necessary to work on and in the end ignore the feedback given to him-- so then he was putting in an effort for something that was not what his peers, customers, and management felt needed to be addressed or 3. he could brainstorm and work on ways to mitigate him rambling off during meetings, not being able to keep his thoughts focused.

He tried number 3 and he has made great improvements. He solicites feedback after his meetings and presentations-- he also makes himself a strict agenda and notes so that he doesn't wander in meetings.

My point is that none of us know why your manager has brought it up or if it is something that could hurt your performance. We can make guesses or just assume it is some jerk manager who just wants to keep you down. But without having an open dialogue with your manager you will more than likely end up doing scenarios 1 and 2 and not end up figuring out what competencies your employer sees as needing improvement.

Now granted, you could very well have a jerk for manager who is just writing it to write it-- or there may be a nugget that you can learn and improve.

[grapico]

At least it is only annual, my last company had quarterly reviews (extremely annoying)... I am introverted to the max. Most companies I have worked for I will only like 1-2 people and tend to have coffee with just them.

[Further North]

Either he is bothered by the fact that you tend to keep to yourself, or he is asking you to come out of your shell a bit because he sees the potential in you to be more involved in making presentations, talking to customers/clients, or leading other people.

I've been labeled an introvert at my past jobs as well, and I think it's due to the fact that when I need to, I focus on my damn job and not the conversation going on around me! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the fact that my previous jobs were with coworkers who had some personality and were fun to work with, but there's a time and a place to be carrying on about non-work related conversations. I didn't want to be the idiot gabbing on about what I did over the weekend or last night's football game when my boss walked in! You're getting paid to WORK! One of my coworkers at my last job would even kinda poke fun about that and send me an email or something in the middle of the afternoon and say "Are you here today? I haven't heard a peep from you!" I think it was also compounded by the fact that not a lot of my job responsibilities required me to interact with the people in my immediate office.

My advice would be to see if you can get a better read on what his real intent is. Don't necessarily jump up and sign up for public speaking classes, but hell, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you did. Maybe tell him that if he thinks it's important that it's something you would consider, and ask if you could get an education credit from work for it? If nothing else, just try and make an effort to interact with your coworkers more in a social manner.

[andreaspercheron]

Unless you're an auctioneer and your job requires you to be loud and talking.. I don't see how your quiet nature has any relevance to your job that you were hired to do. I would question as to why they feel it's necessary that you take speaking classes. Unless it really does relate to your job.