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OP - are you depressed? My oldest, who is 32 is in IT and he has requested paid medical leave as he has been very depressed and feeling a lot of anxiety. He's working almost full time plus trying to finish his Bachelor's Degree. We are hoping his leave is approved, even if it is only for a few weeks as it will give him time to take a breather. He's fortunate that he works at a company large enough to give him paid time off.
Maybe you need to take that vacation you've not been taking. We all get burned out without a vacation.
When I start a new job, I always start refreshed and with a great attitude. With every job change I've had, that honeymoon period has been reduced. It's not the job, it's me. I'll be the first one to admit that. That's part of the reason I change jobs, is to get a temporary break from the funk. It also usually means a 10-20% raise, which would otherwise be impossible.
Maybe try to identify what, exactly, counts as 'the funk" to you. If it's the "corporate BS" in general, there's no getting away from it. Even if you strike out on your own, you have to play the game for clients.
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I've just had it with day to day corporate america. At every job I've ever had, I have a LOT of downtime - it's at the point where I try to slow my rate of work so I have less downtime. I'm a hard worker, and when I start a task I want it completed in the least amount of time possible. This results in increased downtime, all while others work at a snails pace in order to look busy 100% of the time.
Meanwhile, other people are complaining about unrealistic demands, 12 hour days, etc. I'm right there where you are... I have far too little tasking, and my attempts to get more only slowly make headway. I've just come to accept it.
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It's things like this, and just the overall fact that software/IT work isn't very rewarding. Also many companies have moved to open seating which I'm completely against. It's not productive for me, and I think workers have a right to a little bit of privacy during the day. I currently work from home, which is great, but I likely won't work at home forever. I'm not sure I would want to either.
I can't stand "open seating". At my last job, one of the many straws that wound up breaking the camel's back was having the seating area I'd designed undone, solely for the purpose of taking away the private little area I'd constructed for myself to be able to work, because "nobody else has that" (except for management, of course!)
All in all, earlier in my career I frequently got frustrated at stuff like this, especially when I had any kind of user support role. There were times I wanted to throw my computer out the window and just go be a lumberjack or something. I think that came from the fact that it had been a fun hobby for me, too, and the realities of the work world spoiled my good time. So I don't do anything computer-related as a "hobby" any more... computer stuff is work stuff, and I have to do it during the day, then I go home and do something else.
OP - are you depressed? My oldest, who is 32 is in IT and he has requested paid medical leave as he has been very depressed and feeling a lot of anxiety. He's working almost full time plus trying to finish his Bachelor's Degree. We are hoping his leave is approved, even if it is only for a few weeks as it will give him time to take a breather. He's fortunate that he works at a company large enough to give him paid time off.
Maybe you need to take that vacation you've not been taking. We all get burned out without a vacation.
I don't think I'm depressed. I'm very happy with my life outside my career. I may have work-depression if that is such a thing.
If I'm going to take time off, it needs to be at least a few months to give me some time to re-evaluate and figure out what I want to do. Going on a week long vacation doesn't do anything for me. Vacation itself is great, but I don't go back to work refreshed. I dread going back.
When I start a new job, I always start refreshed and with a great attitude. With every job change I've had, that honeymoon period has been reduced. It's not the job, it's me. I'll be the first one to admit that. That's part of the reason I change jobs, is to get a temporary break from the funk. It also usually means a 10-20% raise, which would otherwise be impossible.
I've just had it with day to day corporate america. At every job I've ever had, I have a LOT of downtime - it's at the point where I try to slow my rate of work so I have less downtime. I'm a hard worker, and when I start a task I want it completed in the least amount of time possible. This results in increased downtime, all while others work at a snails pace in order to look busy 100% of the time.
It's things like this, and just the overall fact that software/IT work isn't very rewarding. Also many companies have moved to open seating which I'm completely against. It's not productive for me, and I think workers have a right to a little bit of privacy during the day. I currently work from home, which is great, but I likely won't work at home forever. I'm not sure I would want to either.
I realize this is whiny and selfish - there are people working in factories making 7.50 an hour doing repetitive tasks for 8 hours a day. But part of me envies that. If they want to get up and go flip burgers instead of working at a factory, they have that option without completely changing their way of life.
Messed up right?
I get the downtime part. Amusingly enough, as my job title has gotten more senior, I've had more downtime. I worked at a help desk for two years after college for a Fortune 50. Endless calls, all day long. I support a small user base on mostly trouble free software, and aside from a few small projects, things feel like they're just in a holding pattern. People seem to be biding time, waiting, and maintaining the status quo. Especially here during the winter with the cloudy, rainy days, time just feels like it's dragging along at a snail's pace.
With children, you do have an obligation to maintain a certain level of income to provide for them, but you don't want to be one of these people who wake up at 60 and life has passed them by. I had an uncle who deferred everything to retirement. Dropped dead of a heart attack at 55 before retiring.
One thing to keep in mind that is really difficult about IT is ageism. Three years ago, the company I was at then had an excellent candidate for a team lead at our office. He was a director at another firm and could have done technical roles as well. The senior manager who had the ultimate say in hiring declined him...because he was in his early 40s. Older candidates in IT seem to get put out to pasture more than an older teacher, pharmacist, doctor, accountant, etc.
Meanwhile, other people are complaining about unrealistic demands, 12 hour days, etc. I'm right there where you are... I have far too little tasking, and my attempts to get more only slowly make headway. I've just come to accept it.
Glad I'm not alone in this. I've left multiple jobs due to being bored and having minimal workload, thinking it was just that particular job. It's not - it's just the way the industry is. It gets exhausting working with people who try and pretend otherwise.
With children, you do have an obligation to maintain a certain level of income to provide for them, but you don't want to be one of these people who wake up at 60 and life has passed them by. I had an uncle who deferred everything to retirement. Dropped dead of a heart attack at 55 before retiring.
Again right on the money. Clearly I'm not the only one thinking about this stuff
I've saved hard for retirement. Then I look at retirement calculators and realize what I've saved is only a drop in the bucket. Sometimes I wonder if that's even the right thing to do - one of my biggest fears is not making it to retirement.
I did what you want to do! Maybe you will get something from my experience. When I was 53 I packed it in and left my IT type job. The job had become a grind and just the thought of another Minnesota Winter gave me the heebie jeebies. I moved 2500 miles to the nice warm desert figuring I would look for work when I got there. I didn't have kids and a family to support, I had a pension, and I paid cash for my house. I was totally debt free.
Not many jobs here for me. But I kept busy with a series of the throwaway McJobs you envy. I had to dumb down my resume and take off all my education to get those McJobs too! Let me tell you about those jobs. They are hard work. I worked harder at those jobs than I ever did at my real job. They are physically demanding and after 8 hours on your feet running, all you can do is go home and put your feet up. And they take a toll on you. I didn't have a single varicose vein before I took these jobs and now I have lots of them. And after I worked 4 or 5 days in a row, the only thing I wanted to do on my days off was get off my hurting feet. Next, many of those jobs are part time. They will not hire FT because they do not want to pay for benefits/insurance. So that means no PTO at all. I haven't had a vacation day where I was paid to be off since I left my real job. Many of my co-workers had 2 or 3 McJobs trying to cobble together a real living. Then there's the problem of health insurance. There's a good chance the insurance they MIGHT offer you costs more than your take home pay. And you can forget the ACA, it isn't going to be there for you.
You may think you are treated poorly now but believe me you are treated like a King compared to the McJob folks. I hate open offices too but after while on the McJob scene they look like paradise. I was illegally fired from a McJob for failing to get out of jury duty. They knew it was illegal when they did it and they knew they would lose because they had just given me a raise(10 cents an hour...) and an excellent review the week before. But they also knew that McJob people can't afford lawyers.
Tech moves quickly and after a few years out of the field I am now no longer considered qualified for the job I did for years. Plus, age discrimination runs rampant in our field. Many people feel aged out over 40. After all, the IT guy is SUPPOSED to be young...and male. All my certs expired and it's not feasible to pay to take the tests over again for jobs I most likely am too old to get.
That was my experience in a nutshell. Best of luck to you!
I did what you want to do! Maybe you will get something from my experience. When I was 53 I packed it in and left my IT type job. The job had become a grind and just the thought of another Minnesota Winter gave me the heebie jeebies. I moved 2500 miles to the nice warm desert figuring I would look for work when I got there. I didn't have kids and a family to support, I had a pension, and I paid cash for my house. I was totally debt free.
Not many jobs here for me. But I kept busy with a series of the throwaway McJobs you envy. I had to dumb down my resume and take off all my education to get those McJobs too! Let me tell you about those jobs. They are hard work. I worked harder at those jobs than I ever did at my real job. They are physically demanding and after 8 hours on your feet running, all you can do is go home and put your feet up. And they take a toll on you. I didn't have a single varicose vein before I took these jobs and now I have lots of them. And after I worked 4 or 5 days in a row, the only thing I wanted to do on my days off was get off my hurting feet. Next, many of those jobs are part time. They will not hire FT because they do not want to pay for benefits/insurance. So that means no PTO at all. I haven't had a vacation day where I was paid to be off since I left my real job. Many of my co-workers had 2 or 3 McJobs trying to cobble together a real living. Then there's the problem of health insurance. There's a good chance the insurance they MIGHT offer you costs more than your take home pay. And you can forget the ACA, it isn't going to be there for you.
You may think you are treated poorly now but believe me you are treated like a King compared to the McJob folks. I hate open offices too but after while on the McJob scene they look like paradise. I was illegally fired from a McJob for failing to get out of jury duty. They knew it was illegal when they did it and they knew they would lose because they had just given me a raise(10 cents an hour...) and an excellent review the week before. But they also knew that McJob people can't afford lawyers.
Tech moves quickly and after a few years out of the field I am now no longer considered qualified for the job I did for years. Plus, age discrimination runs rampant in our field. Many people feel aged out over 40. After all, the IT guy is SUPPOSED to be young...and male. All my certs expired and it's not feasible to pay to take the tests over again for jobs I most likely am too old to get.
That was my experience in a nutshell. Best of luck to you!
Thanks for this post - its good to hear from someone with real world experience, and that the grass may not be greener.
I'm not in IT, but Finance. I'll be 50 in a few months. I remember when I was in my late 30's/early 40's. I was married, 1 young kid. At that point I was very much caught up in the whole rat race and keeping up with the Jones', we had nice cars, an expensive house, etc.
But my life was becoming more and more stressful. The more money I made, the more went straight back out the door towards various things. In my 20's and early 30's, before kids, I had enough money saved where I could just up and quit my job, my wife was working, and if I needed to, I could just quit and walk away without much consequence in my life. When I was ~40 though, my wife was a stay at home mom, and I couldn't just quit. I felt trapped. It wasn't so much a midlife crisis as just realizing that my responsibilities had exceeded my previous comfort level.
My wife and I sat down and made a plan. First thing I did was sell one of my cars. Even though it was paid off, I didn't need two cars for me as well as one for the wife. Sold that and put a nice chunk of change in our investment accounts. That alone gave me a great amount of peace of mind, because now I could easily quit and take 6 months off for a breather if I ever needed to.
My wife and I also discussed when she would be going back to work to help out financially. I had to wait another two years, but eventually when she went back to work and the kids were finally in school, it was a big relief to not be the sole breadwinner anymore. Even though we couldn't live where we do on my wife's salary alone, it helps enough that I don't have to stress about losing my job.
Vacations. Start taking them. Or, see if you can begin working an alternative schedule. I got on a 4 day, 10 hr week schedule and having that extra day really made a huge improvement in my life/work balance, even though I was still putting in the same number of hours. I really miss that schedule. Having an extra day to relax was great.
I'd also advise taking two vacations per year... one with the kids, and definitely one WITHOUT. I love my kids dearly, but a vacation with them is rarely a vacation at all, just a change of scenery really. It's gotten better the older they get, but I only really tend to relax on vacation when it's just the wife and I.
Hang in there. The harder you grind away now, the easier your retirement will be.
I think it's normal to feel trapped by your mid-40s.
You still have huge college expenses ahead for your kids. You will discover that how ever much you have saved for college and retirement, it's not enough and you will need to keep a corporate job to provide health insurance for you and your family.
With the about to be eliminated ACA, you'll likely need to continue working until age 65.
Perhaps a week on the beach would give you something to look forward to.
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