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My management, at the last minute, decided I should attend a meeting that directly affects my work and my customers, so had me invited. I would say I was the most outspoken and had the most opinions in this meeting. They said they would schedule a follow up meeting for 30 days. I received the invite, but I was only set up as an "optional" attendee. Of course I'm thinking wtf. Shortly after, our group had an unrelated meeting scheduled and my management was there. I verbalized that I was not happy about being considered optional and my asst manager said outloud, "you always gets upset at these kind of things" (or something to that affect). He was smiling when he said it, but it really annoyed me. Am I not allowed to be pissed off? Guys in my group swear and get angry all the time and I've NEVER heard management tell them to calm down, stop being so emotional, etc.
The rest of the day I was annoyed at the whole thing. I told my friend who's a manager at a different company and he said this person should never have said that, that he would get in trouble at his company if he said that to me in front of others. It's out of line and possibly sexist.
So this all stemmed from the fact you felt slighted for being made "optional"? That's ridiculous. If you were left off of the meeting all together I can see your frustration, but to make a scene for being made optional warrants the response you got.
This is a very petty thing to complain about, and definitely not sexist.
So this all stemmed from the fact you felt slighted for being made "optional"? That's ridiculous. If you were left off of the meeting all together I can see your frustration, but to make a scene for being made optional warrants the response you got.
This is a very petty thing to complain about, and definitely not sexist.
Exactly.
This is as petty as it comes, sorry.
Being optional is considered an insult and 'sexist?' In what universe would either of those be considered 'sexist.' Things like these are what sets back the movement for women's rights and respect in the work force.
The OP's friend at another company is completely wrong. Why shouldn't the assistant manager have said that? The OP was the one that tried to make a mountain out of an anthill at the meeting, and was totally unprofessional complaining about this non issue in front of everyone. The OP should have PRIVATELY inquired about why she was optional, instead of trying to stir petty drama in front of everyone.
And, as always, I know the OP is only looking for 'advice' and support from those who agree with her assessment of the situation. Rest assured, she will never agree with those of us who think her arguments are baseless, and I see this turning into another 8 plus page thread of her bickering back and forth that she is right and we are not.
The OP does seem to have an personal issue that she needs to resolve
Why do people feel a need to pull up other completely unrelated posts? Like seriously, are you that bored?
I didn't say not being originally included in the meeting or being considered optional in the meeting was sexist, I asked if what the asst manager said was. I'm asking because someone else who IS a manager said that. JC you people are unreal. Why have a forum when you start treating people like a pile of crap.
Why do people feel a need to pull up other completely unrelated posts? Like seriously, are you that bored?
I didn't say not being originally included in the meeting or being considered optional in the meeting was sexist, I asked if what the asst manager said was. I'm asking because someone else who IS a manager said that. JC you people are unreal. Why have a forum when you start treating people like a pile of crap.
No it's not sexist. It is merely an observation, because I am assuming you complain about this kind of stuff all the time.
You brought this up in a general meeting? If so, then you effectively hijacked the purpose of the meeting. A more professional method would be to meet the with your supervisor individually.
My management, at the last minute, decided I should attend a meeting that directly affects my work and my customers, so had me invited. I would say I was the most outspoken and had the most opinions in this meeting. They said they would schedule a follow up meeting for 30 days. I received the invite, but I was only set up as an "optional" attendee. Of course I'm thinking wtf. Shortly after, our group had an unrelated meeting scheduled and my management was there. I verbalized that I was not happy about being considered optional and my asst manager said outloud, "you always gets upset at these kind of things" (or something to that affect). He was smiling when he said it, but it really annoyed me. Am I not allowed to be pissed off? Guys in my group swear and get angry all the time and I've NEVER heard management tell them to calm down, stop being so emotional, etc.
The rest of the day I was annoyed at the whole thing. I told my friend who's a manager at a different company and he said this person should never have said that, that he would get in trouble at his company if he said that to me in front of others. It's out of line and possibly sexist.
Agree?
I'm confused here. An Assistant Manager called you out for always being upset. You then say that management doesn't tell the men to calm down or be emotional - how does that relate to what the assistant manager said. He just made a comment. My best advice is to accept the meeting and move on. Also, be professional, do your job, and don't take anything personal. Leave the ego at the door. Good luck.
How is it sexist? He is talking about you as a personality that he knows and what his perceptions are. I too think you made too much out of it. I assume some of the people in attendance were required to be there by corporate or something, while your attendance was optional in terms of meeting corporate compliance requirements or something. He didn't say YOU were optional just that your attendance was. He's the one who got you invited for goodness' sakes.
I get whiny sometimes, so when someone tells me I'm being whiney, they're not saying it based on my gender, they are saying it because they know me and how I get.
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