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If you actually start this job what do you think will happen when you have to travel? Do you think they will want to deal with that? Or do you think they would appreciate it more if you never started?
Are you getting treatment for your anxiety?
That would be bad and in fact happened with my previous employer. I thought it was a ground based position without travel (the company offered to fly me in for a day of job shadowing but I declined, indicating I prefer to drive) however once I started, I got a surprise and they said guess what? We're sending you on a business trip to another town...I said great, will I use my car or a be provided a rental and they said nope, we're flying you and you'll get to go to multiple destinations. was my reaction so I spoke with the manager about my concerns and he asked, so are you afraid of flying? I told him I don't know but I haven't done it in years and have avoided it, so maybe. He seemed upset at first but then cancelled the business trip.
Now I must admit it would be better for city B's potential employer to know about my issue in advance so that a decision can be made to either make alternate arrangements (send someone else, drive instead of flying or maybe even hire someone else). But then I'd lose out on an almost guaranteed 4 weeks of training and pay.
About treatment for anxiety: no and my dad makes fun of it. My mom is a more caring person and understands. She offered me some pills but so far I've refused as I read you should never share medication...if you need help/treatment, seek out a professional. But it's expensive to hire a psychologist for private sessions (one clinical psych. quoted $210/hr and is located near city B while others cost at least $140-160/hr. Very expensive when you're unemployed and so if I can avoid a job with a flying requirement and save money, I'd prefer it. I do recognize however that limiting myself to ground transport has limited my career options when it comes to long distance relocation.
Now I must admit it would be better for city B's potential employer to know about my issue in advance so that a decision can be made to either make alternate arrangements (send someone else, drive instead of flying or maybe even hire someone else). But then I'd lose out on an almost guaranteed 4 weeks of training and pay.
About treatment for anxiety: no and my dad makes fun of it. My mom is a more caring person and understands. She offered me some pills but so far I've refused as I read you should never share medication...if you need help/treatment, seek out a professional.
Let me assure you that you're never driving to London.
You'll "lose out on an almost guaranteed 4 weeks of training and pay."
I'm speechless at this point. Well, for anything else I could say that won't be considered mean by someone. We've tried to give you the way out. You refuse to hear it. You'd rather defraud this company to save face.
Your dad should not make fun of your anxiety but your mother is doing you no favors by coddling it and you are not managing it as well as you evidently think you are. Please do get some help.
(I see you've edited your response to blame high cost for not getting some assistance with your issues. One thing you have no problem with is coming up with innovative reasons for why you can't or will not do something. If only there were a job description for that, you'd be golden.)
Well I have spent a bit on seeking treatment - paid for a therapy session with a pilot (mostly him talking and reading off a powerpoint presentation) and it included a 15 minute session in a flight simulator. The cost: $279 out of pocket. It was supposed to help reduce anxiety and convince you that flying can be fun. I still ended up cancelling an interview in city D and lost a job opportunity. Otherwise I've seen those "fear of flying" weekends offered at around $800-1000 for 2 days including a 20-45 minute flight in what I presume is a small aircraft but that won't be the same as strapping into a seat of a big jet and climbing over 30,000 ft., then continuing to feel various negative sensations, wanting to escape and having nowhere to go for hours on end, just to have to do it all on the way back.
How can I pull the plug if I signed the offer and emailed it already? I feel locked into the contract already.
You emailed them paperwork. Call right now and tell them you can't take the job. Much easier for them to delete your email before they spend one more second on it and hire the next person on the list that actually wants to work there and travel.
If you feel you need to tell them anything, read some of your posts to them. They will be happy you're not interested in the job.
You seem to not mind spending other people's money and wasting other people's time.
Well I have spent a bit on seeking treatment - paid for a therapy session with a pilot (mostly him talking and reading off a powerpoint presentation) and it included a 15 minute session in a flight simulator. The cost: $279 out of pocket. It was supposed to help reduce anxiety and convince you that flying can be fun. I still ended up cancelling an interview in city D and lost a job opportunity. Otherwise I've seen those "fear of flying" weekends offered at around $800-1000 for 2 days including a 20-45 minute flight in what I presume is a small aircraft but that won't be the same as strapping into a seat of a big jet and climbing over 30,000 ft., then continuing to feel various negative sensations, wanting to escape and having nowhere to go for hours on end, just to have to do it all on the way back.
Here, you have chosen to fine-focus your anxiety issue on flying. "What if I freak out on the plane?" is pretty far down the list and has only come up in your presentation the last day or so. This is an evasive move. You are prevaricating.
You are ignoring that people are pointing out to you that anxiety, a need to control, and other issues are manifesting more broadly in your life.
Fear of flying may be part of the problem, but it is not the problem.
I fail to see how this would be a net gain for the OP to move somewhere for a month and then have to move home because she cannot so the job. The cost of getting out there alone will probably eat any earnings. OP, why are you looking at jobs that require international travel if you do not not like to fly?
I didn't know this job required international travel until I asked for a clarification to an element in the offer letter. Had I known this during the interview process 2.5 weeks ago, I would have brought up the issue earlier and there's a good chance they would have eliminated me as a potential candidate. So really this is a last minute surprise. What I should have done is followed my gut and emailed the manager my questions yesterday and waited for his reply before sending any signed paperwork to him and HR. My dad advised me to send questions with the paperwork to show I was a "serious" candidate. Big mistake.
I just applied to the local company my dad suggested I apply to and that was mentioned earlier in this thread even though I don't have the certification exams done and it may require air travel (I asked them to clarify this before the interview). I was also upfront that I don't expect to do the exams for another 2 months as not to waste their time by having HR / the hiring manager contact me now.
But then I'd lose out on an almost guaranteed 4 weeks of training and pay.
How much money would you actually end up with after moving to the new city, getting a car, and then moving back home 4 weeks later? Plus your living expenses for the month... it just doesn't sound like you'll come out ahead.
Ok thanks for clarifying. I received a verbal offer over a week ago and am still unsure about the written offer. I know the cons far outweigh the pros but the learning opportunity and potential income are hard to refuse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatzPaw
Here, you have chosen to fine-focus your anxiety issue on flying. "What if I freak out on the plane?" is pretty far down the list and has only come up in your presentation the last day or so. This is an evasive move. You are prevaricating.
You are ignoring that people are pointing out to you that anxiety, a need to control, and other issues are manifesting more broadly in your life.
Fear of flying may be part of the problem, but it is not the problem.
The OP could easily call her local mental health clinic, and ask them to give her the names a few therapists who will work on sliding scale, she can explain that she is not working, and has no health insurance. There is help out there, she just needs to ask for it.
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Last edited by maiden_fern; 11-17-2017 at 01:29 PM..
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was my reaction so I spoke with the manager about my concerns and he asked, so are you afraid of flying? I told him I don't know but I haven't done it in years and have avoided it, so maybe. He seemed upset at first but then cancelled the business trip. 
