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I know what the EEOC definition of harassment is. I'm asking...what does sexual harassment look like in the workplace?
Being groped. Having a co-worker send explicit porn to your computer, and still doing so after you say that you don't want it. Being propositioned in the kitchen, after you have already said no once. Being told that you will get a promotion if you sleep with the boss.
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2,907 posts, read 2,069,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treemoni
I know what the EEOC definition of harassment is. I'm asking...what does sexual harassment look like in the workplace?
I think the most severe and obvious one is quid pro quo.
But, I'd say it's more likely this poster is straight up loca, rather than she was sexually harassed. I think her claiming we're bullying her goes to show just how much.
I think the most severe and obvious one is quid pro quo.
But, I'd say it's more likely this poster is straight up loca, rather than she was sexually harassed. I think her claiming we're bullying her goes to show just how much.
+1 (Won't let me give you points again, LOL)
But, yeah. If you don't agree with the OP you are bullying. And, if you do something the OP doesn't like you are harassing her.
There is a time and appropriate audience for Man jokes, certain industries it's expected to push the boundaries of being PC.
If OP works in Big 4 accounting or Little 16 accounting, architecture, finance or non-profit. Then those atmospheres are not really appropriate.
Now if it's an ad agency with a bunch of 20 somethings where the Women refer to each other as "Bro" and "Dude" then you may be OK. But then again, the Gen Z coming up who knows if they are more sensitive than Millenials...
Long story short, know your audience and unless the girl opts in do not include her in "bro-talk" or "bro-speak".
I'm not saying that it was appropriate. Maybe it's just me, but you are not running to HR and reporting every little thing, ruining peoples livelihood. You know, most of people don't want to work with a person who will rat on them for non issues, wasting every-bodies time. And I'm not sure that I want to hire an old spinner who faints from every "unappropriated" thing. If she is so sensitive, how is she going to handle a tough customer?
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treemoni
Thanks. To me, those are pretty obvious. What are some not-so-obvious things? Because I think those are more likely to happen. Plausible deniability.
ETA
This was in response to RatherBeReading.
The thing is, here aren't "not so obvious things" that will get you charged with sexual harassment. It's not a secret code that you have to learn, that the average person would have no idea you shouldn't be behaving that way.
Everyone knows. Until the last 20 years or so, some people got away with doing what they knew was harassment.
People, it doesn't matter if the message wasn't intended for her. Someone can be uncomfortable with inappropriate behavior happening to someone else. Goodness...there really needs to be more training on these things.
Also, to all the people who said a person like this "makes it hard" for other women...that is very sexist. When a man gets in trouble in the workplace, do you say, "Geez. Now you've made it hard for the next man to get a job!" Probably not.
Yes, when a man genuinely sexually harasses women, he makes it hard for other men.
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The thing is, here aren't "not so obvious things" that will get you charged with sexual harassment. It's not a secret code that you have to learn, that the average person would have no idea you shouldn't be behaving that way.
Everyone knows. Until the last 20 years or so, some people got away with doing what they knew was harassment.
I mean, I agree with you. I'm just trying to make sense of the people that think the OP is overreacting. To me, it would never be appropriate to send something talking about "booties" to a coworker on company-owned property. Never. I probably wouldn't even say it to a coworker off hours on my own device, because coworkers can be shady and are "friends" of convenience 90% of the time. Like the example I used for myself...I wouldn't find it inappropriate for a coworker to ask me out a few times, because sometimes it does take a few times before the girl says yes. I mean, how many "My husband and I have been married for 30 years, and I rejected him in the beginning!" stories have you heard? A person might look at me and think I'm crazy for not being offended that a coworker would ask me out again after saying "no". We are all operating from our own realities. Yes, there are general social norms, but things like harassment are very personal. Like I said, if it was up to the non-offended party to decide what's harassing...there'd never be viable claims.
I know what the EEOC definition of harassment is. I'm asking...what does sexual harassment look like in the workplace?
The devil is in the details to be sure.
I believe that the generally accepted standard is severe or persistent enough for a reasonable person to perceive it as harassment.
The reasonable person standard is always problematic, as it almost always disadvantages minority opinions, even well founded minority opinions.
My objection to the OP is that the incidents she pointed out were neither persistent or severe, and if I qualify as a reasonable person then it wasn’t harassment.
A number of lewd or suggestive messages would qualify as persistent and severe. Maybe that number is 3, it is almost certainly fewer than 10.
Persistent foul language after an objection was raised could be viewed as severe.
Language with more ... graphic content ... would be severe.
A series of sexually suggestive jokes, particularly in a public setting, would be severe.
Intentional touching, or a couple of “inadvertent” but suspicious touches is harassment.
The key as I see it is giving the offender the chance to apologize and correct the behavior. If there was no physical contact, and no threat, coercion or quid pro quo, no lasting harm has been suffered with one occurance. In this case the victim (OP) can object, and the behavior stops.
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