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And do you know of any? A woman who I am friends with is 38 and has never had a good job or career. I know from talking with her she did attend college but dropped out saying it was too stressful. She has never been married or had kids. Also, while not a psychologist not to be mean but she does seem a bit "slow" kind of like a mild form of autism but that is just me.
She currently lives in an apartment by herself except for her cat and her 70 year old mother is always helping her out, which is great but she won't be around forever. She also just recently got fired from the fast food place she worked at. I think it's sad really.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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For those I know in that situation, I also know the reasons, and no, I don't feel bad because it's of their own doing. For example, arguing with the boss and getting fired every 2-3 years, getting bored with the work and quitting every few years, or just wasn't interested in getting an education. I feel badly for those that had a good career but got downsized in the recession and took several years to find a lesser but decent job.
No. Maybe she's fine with where she is. One of the happiest people I know is an adult with special needs whose life parallels the person you know. She has a joyful spirit and I always leave her presence feeling good. I can't say that about too many people, and I admire that about her. Some of the most miserable people have lives that look good to everyone else.
Well, I always wonder when I see older people work in low end jobs, working minimum wage, great at their job, going the extra mile. Why aren't they working better paid jobs??
Most of them don't even look like they partied in in their youth. I partied through my 20s, recovered at work and still got somewhere.
Came to the US at age 29. Limited English skills. No recognized degree. Worked my way up from babysitting. If I can do it, everyone can. Just met a guy, proudly told me he is employee of the month at Whole Foods, grocery night stocking. If you are so great, why are you working for $15/hour at age 40? Why aren't you the grocery boss there?
No. Maybe she's fine with where she is. One of the happiest people I know is an adult with special needs whose life parallels the person you know. She has a joyful spirit and I always leave her presence feeling good. I can't say that about too many people, and I admire that about her. Some of the most miserable people have lives that look good to everyone else.
From talking to her, she really doesn't seem to be. She laments about never having had a great job/career, or being able to fully support herself; she doesn't even have a bank account and she lost her car due to a DUI and has to walk to work or wherever she needs to go unless her mother or a friend can take her.
I don't know of anyone as the woman you described. I do know myself that I've struggled over 30 years to get a steady decent job and it angers me. I did all the right things.
I am the type of person to assess myself, live by good example, keep my home clean, my things, have a journal, a to-do list/goals with deadlines to help stay on track but it never worked out for me. It was very painful and reached out to others to see if I was missing something. Apparently not. I just don't have the connections.
Now, I am okay, but I am so tired of all those years of trying hard, playing the game and now I'm older that it is hard to have the same energy level due to aging. Why couldn't it be better for me while I was younger, eager, proactive and with young energy, so that when I'm older, I could exit early and relax for my hard work?
I don't know of anyone as the woman you described. I do know myself that I've struggled over 30 years to get a steady decent job and it angers me. I did all the right things.
I am not talking about that... but I do know some people who have not struggled and in fact seemed to be insanely irresponsible. Getting hired at whatever job they could.. quitting or getting fired.. and somehow seeming to think that social security was going to be enough. And when they get sick they will go on SSDI and feel entitled to it. I guess I don't feel bad for them because most of the time they have more free time and friends than me and probably will be doing better at the same age.
I am not talking about that... but I do know some people who have not struggled and in fact seemed to be insanely irresponsible. Getting hired at whatever job they could.. quitting or getting fired.. and somehow seeming to think that social security was going to be enough. And when they get sick they will go on SSDI and feel entitled to it. I guess I don't feel bad for them because most of the time they have more free time and friends than me and probably will be doing better at the same age.
I don't understand that then. I have a coworker who live this type of lifestyle and reflects on his job, but can't get fired because of the union. He knows the system, he doesn't work, and uses the system so he get away with not working.
My brother. He's made some bad choices over the years. Not drugs or alcohol-related, just bad decisions about life in general and bad "career" choices. But I think his biggest problem has been a lack of self-confidence.
He's a very hard worker, he's just never been one to take chances, see himself in a better role, or able to look far enough into the future to position himself in job roles that would give him the opportunity to work his way up, or build any kind of a real career path. That and wasting a lot of years on bad business partnerships with a couple of different buddies and he's now in his 50s, living in a basement apartment making a little over minimum wage. He's super smart, and works hard (as I mentioned above), but he has always lacked any planning or strategy and has extremely low self-esteem, which I'm sure has just gotten worse over the years.
I do feel bad for him. I've tried to give him advice (as have other family members), but he doesn't want to hear it. Frankly, I think he's embarrassed.
My brother. He's made some bad choices over the years. Not drugs or alcohol-related, just bad decisions about life in general and bad "career" choices. But I think his biggest problem has been a lack of self-confidence.
He's a very hard worker, he's just never been one to take chances, see himself in a better role, or able to look far enough into the future to position himself in job roles that would give him the opportunity to work his way up, or build any kind of a real career path. That and wasting a lot of years on bad business partnerships with a couple of different buddies and he's now in his 50s, living in a basement apartment making a little over minimum wage. He's super smart, and works hard (as I mentioned above), but he has always lacked any planning or strategy and has extremely low self-esteem, which I'm sure has just gotten worse over the years.
I do feel bad for him. I've tried to give him advice (as have other family members), but he doesn't want to hear it. Frankly, I think he's embarrassed.
Really interesting. Do you think at that age it's even worth say, going back to school and getting a degree and trying to start a new career?
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