Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You ought to be in my shoes where it is day shift vs night shift.
I generally avoid the parties for three reasons. First, not only do they take place during my off time but often the equivalent time is like 11 PM in my night. Secondly, such affairs are for them to be winding down but for me to be winding up. Third, the drinking of alcohol by me is totally out of the question.
The way it works around here is that if a gathering is mandatory, I get to claim to over time. Not much of a compensation but it is there.
You ought to be in my shoes where it is day shift vs night shift.
I generally avoid the parties for three reasons. First, not only do they take place during my off time but often the equivalent time is like 11 PM in my night. Secondly, such affairs are for them to be winding down but for me to be winding up. Third, the drinking of alcohol by me is totally out of the question.
The way it works around here is that if a gathering is mandatory, I get to claim to over time. Not much of a compensation but it is there.
I guess I should clarify: these are during work hours, and we don't have to use our own time. But I mean, good grief, even families no longer sit around a table and eat a meal together and converse the whole time anymore!
I just wondered if this was something they're teaching in management school these days.
I guess I should clarify: these are during work hours, and we don't have to use our own time. But I mean, good grief, even families no longer sit around a table and eat a meal together and converse the whole time anymore!
I just wondered if this was something they're teaching in management school these days.
As I said, day vs night.
Those get togethers for me are during their work hours but my off hours and it tends to be a split. Some are 2-3 hours after my shift is over but at least I am already on site. It is the ones that take place at what might be 11 PM (but their 2 PM) into my night which are really a hurdle for then I have to come back in from home. I don't even get to count the 30 minutes 1 way travel time or the additional time added to the clock so I can find a parking place.
So in a way I would say............................consider yourself lucky.
I don't see what the big deal is to show up and push some food around on a plate and make small talk. That's the kind of place you work in.
But I also don't think a part-time employer is going to care how much of a team player you are. Part-time workers don't tend to get vetted that much and there's not as much of a concern about cultural fit.
Do what you want - I don't think it will matter much either way.
I used to arrange to be involved in a project in the computer room so I could 'not realize' it was time to go to the lunch, etc. Meetings that were listed as department meetings where they began or ended with Birthday cake, going away treats, etc I would stay for a few minutes then quietly slide out.
I knew I wasn't going to be promoted anymore, I was pretty happy doing what I was doing. Then once I found out I was on the RIF list I pretty much stopped worrying at all about the politics. Some people were sympathetic I was caught up in the RIF but once I ran the numbers I realized I was the lucky one and when people tried to commiserate I told them I think this may be the best thing that ever happened!
I can see that I'm going to have more to complain about in this, my last year of employment before retiring, than in all the other over twenty combined, but that's the changing culture of today's workplace, I suppose.
Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? With my former boss of many years (decades), we were ignored... Treated as responsible professionals and left to do our jobs in peace. With that boss's departure, we got a replacement who very much encouraged potlucks (mostly a small-town female workforce here), which many of the employees embraced with glee. I'm an introvert who doesn't cook, so I was happy to sit those out.
Enter the third boss who wants not only weekly group meetings to "touch base," but also gatherings for comings, goings, congratulations, and how-do-you-dos and is willing to provide food out of his own pocket. When I quietly stayed behind in my office for the first (not an official meeting, but a goodbye meal; I'd already said my personal goodbyes to this employee), I was actually tracked down and "urged" to attend...
Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't "do" crowds?
I've managed to perform my duties quite competently all these years without forced meals around a table.
I can already see "not a team player" being etched in my permanent personnel record, threatening future part-time employment. The new boss is under 40, and retirement is looking more appealing all the time...
It's during the work day so why can't you just go?
I am the last person to want any socializing outside of work, always avoided it, and quite frankly that is what I thought your thread was going to be about. Having go to Happy Hours or weekend BBQs.
It isn't at all.
It won't kill you to sit there for an hour and have a "goodbye meal" for a coworker who is leaving. What it will do is make you look like an oddball and cause disfavor.
Maybe you should retire ASAP if that is too much for you to do. You don't have to be the life of the party just smile and eat your food the boss is paying for.
I guess I should clarify: these are during work hours, and we don't have to use our own time. But I mean, good grief, even families no longer sit around a table and eat a meal together and converse the whole time anymore!
I just wondered if this was something they're teaching in management school these days.
I think most of us got that. Which is why your thread is so odd.
I have had about 5 different professional jobs over my working years. It was very common to have a lunch for someone who was retiring or changing jobs. Happened at all five jobs. I think most have found this normal.
Sounds like you have had only one job your whole career, which is quite unusual.
This is nothing new, it's called etiquette.
No one is forcing you to go to after hour parties or weekend events, that is what forced socialization is, not this.
I can see that I'm going to have more to complain about in this, my last year of employment before retiring, than in all the other over twenty combined, but that's the changing culture of today's workplace, I suppose.
Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? With my former boss of many years (decades), we were ignored... Treated as responsible professionals and left to do our jobs in peace. With that boss's departure, we got a replacement who very much encouraged potlucks (mostly a small-town female workforce here), which many of the employees embraced with glee. I'm an introvert who doesn't cook, so I was happy to sit those out.
Enter the third boss who wants not only weekly group meetings to "touch base," but also gatherings for comings, goings, congratulations, and how-do-you-dos and is willing to provide food out of his own pocket. When I quietly stayed behind in my office for the first (not an official meeting, but a goodbye meal; I'd already said my personal goodbyes to this employee), I was actually tracked down and "urged" to attend...
Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't "do" crowds?
I've managed to perform my duties quite competently all these years without forced meals around a table.
I can already see "not a team player" being etched in my permanent personnel record, threatening future part-time employment. The new boss is under 40, and retirement is looking more appealing all the time...
If it's in the office, not outside of work hours, I don't see the big deal. I've worked at some places where they insisted on having going away parties, etc. at a bar after work..."happy hours" were the thing with the younger, single employees. Impossible to attend when you have small kids to get home to.
Just politely go, fill a plate with the boss's food, and stay in the background.
I don't see the issue. Those kind of things have always been common to the workplace, it's not anything new. Most people spend more time with co-workers than their family. It's very natural to socialize with them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
