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My question is why did the OP jump all the way to offering to resign over accommodations. That offer should have never been made in the first place. As others have said, the OP could have just make her own arrangements anyway.
Perhaps given the OP's previous experience there was a bit of panic about not being forced to stay in on-campus accommodations. And that influenced the -- what seems to me -- "over the top" offer to resign.
The OP says she's OK with losing the gig. But it didn't have to happen this way. The OP cost herself the job. But if she's OK with it......
I did offer to pay for my own room and uber back and forth but the manager said this was not acceptable. I had the hotel room booked, I told my manager this and she said NO, you are required to stay in the dorm. Yes, I panicked about the dorm and get upset even today thinking about that experience many years ago.
My health and well being are more important to me right now.
I'd be crystal clear that you offered to pay for your own room. Something is fishy with that. Forcing an employee to share a room is bizarre. She had an MO.
Yep, I think I know what the reason was, but I will never tell anyone about it or put it in writing.
I agree. Consulting with an attorney ASAP before this gets farther with the OP saying stuff via text.
I don't understand why they were adamant that you share a room. So weird.
I also suggest you screen shot the texts, consider printing them out and bring the email you were sent along with the letter you wrote to an attorney. They're really the only ones that can give you advice since they'll be looking at what was actually said.
It's not so odd. When I was in the Naval Reserve, we had to share rooms on trips. This applied to officers as well as enlisted.
I did offer to pay for my own room and uber back and forth but the manager said this was not acceptable. I had the hotel room booked, I told my manager this and she said NO, you are required to stay in the dorm. Yes, I panicked about the dorm and get upset even today thinking about that experience many years ago.
My health and well being are more important to me right now.
Was your boss, or anyone at your job aware of the reason you have reservations about room sharing? I'm asking because some really awful people would intentionally put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. There are many people in the workplace who try to learn your weaknesses so they can exploit them/use them against you. Also a reason not to get too personal with coworkers.
Was your boss, or anyone at your job aware of the reason you have reservations about room sharing?
No, I'm embarrassed about what happened to me years ago, I try not to talk about it. I know what you are saying and it's a possibility she was trying to make me more anxious since she knew I was was very apprehensive about it. But I try not to think that people could actually think like that and do those things.
Thanks. You're probably a decent person, which is why you don't think that way. I was the same way until I was up against such a person in the workplace. They didn't know my vulnerabilities (thank GOODNESS) but they did manage to drive a wedge between me and everyone I got along with really well, which I'm sure they thought would devastate me. It evolved into a very clear pattern of behavior, which I'm thankful for, because now I know to look out for it in the future. Like someone else mentioned, your offer to resign seems extreme, but it's understandable if you had a bad experience. Someone with bad motives will pick up on this and think, "Oh, this bothers her," and will want to cause a negative reaction. It sounds very sinister but this type of stuff happens A LOT in the workplace, especially ones that are dysfunctional. I just can't think of any other reason why she would try so hard to control where you sleep when there's no adverse cost to your company or the client.
I just can't think of any other reason why she would try so hard to control where you sleep when there's no adverse cost to your company or the client.
Because her manager is a sick demented lady that has a personality disorder.
Because I wasn't going to work at a client site and share a single dorm room with 1 bathroom with someone I do not know. Would you do that**?
**ps. I might do that if I was just starting my career. I'm not doing that at this stage in my life.
No - I wouldn't have done it either. It just seemed like a big leap to go from offering/saying you wanted your own room and would pay for it, to soliciting your own resignation. Maybe I missed something. I think it's ridiculous that you were not permitted to seek/pay for your own accomodations and can't imagine a company getting so wobbly about this whole thing. Must be something else going on there - or, as you alluded to, there are other things wrong here.
I hope you can get out of there w/out too much heartburn.
No - I wouldn't have done it either. It just seemed like a big leap to go from offering/saying you wanted your own room and would pay for it, to soliciting your own resignation. Maybe I missed something. I think it's ridiculous that you were not permitted to seek/pay for your own accomodations and can't imagine a company getting so wobbly about this whole thing. Must be something else going on there - or, as you alluded to, there are other things wrong here.
I hope you can get out of there w/out too much heartburn.
Thanks! The trip was coming up in a few days, I didn't know how else to get out of bunking with the new employee (we are both female by the way so the above post about male/female in this day and age isn't relevant). I suppose I could have called in sick yesterday and not taken the flight, but I'm an honest person and would never lie like that.
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I was the same way until I was up against such a person in the workplace. They didn't know my vulnerabilities (thank GOODNESS) but they did manage to drive a wedge between me and everyone I got along with really well, which I'm sure they thought would devastate me. It evolved into a very clear pattern of behavior, which I'm thankful for, because now I know to look out for it in the future. Like someone else mentioned, your offer to resign seems extreme, but it's understandable if you had a bad experience. Someone with bad motives will pick up on this and think, "Oh, this bothers her," and will want to cause a negative reaction. It sounds very sinister but this type of stuff happens A LOT in the workplace, especially ones that are dysfunctional. I just can't think of any other reason why she would try so hard to control where you sleep when there's no adverse cost to your company or the client.
