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There is this woman I will refer to as Mary in upper management (whom I do also know outside of work) that my direct supervisor will eventually be reporting to. She has been having me help her with different tasks and it's been going well....until there was a misunderstanding on what she wanted. She asked me what happened and I told her and she was like "what the f**k, fu*kin A", and ect. In the 2 minutes I was in her office, she must have said the F word 8 times. As I was walking out she said "F**K!". I know she wasn't calling me the F work directly, but she was still directing it towards me in anger because something didn't go as planned.
Is that abusive behavior? I have been so nice to her and have prevented her from making mistakes herself with helping her out and feel I did not deserve that! Why so angry on 1 misunderstanding, especially when she wasn't clear as to what she wanted!!??!!!
(A little history: Mary and I are lesbian and did have a brief affair, but decided to cool it and have remained friends outside of work. Someone did go to Mary's boss this past Monday and say they felt she was giving me pereferential treatment. Ever since than Mary has told me we really need to cook it and that she can not ask for my help anymore. She hasn't been as open ever since then - kinda closed herself off a little)
There is this woman I will refer to as Mary in upper management (whom I do also know outside of work) that my direct supervisor will eventually be reporting to. She has been having me help her with different tasks and it's been going well....until there was a misunderstanding on what she wanted. She asked me what happened and I told her and she was like "what the f**k, fu*kin A", and ect. In the 2 minutes I was in her office, she must have said the F word 8 times. As I was walking out she said "F**K!". I know she wasn't calling me the F work directly, but she was still directing it towards me in anger because something didn't go as planned.
Is that abusive behavior? I have been so nice to her and have prevented her from making mistakes herself with helping her out and feel I did not deserve that! Why so angry on 1 misunderstanding, especially when she wasn't clear as to what she wanted!!??!!!
(A little history: Mary and I are lesbian and did have a brief affair, but decided to cool it and have remained friends outside of work. Someone did go to Mary's boss this past Monday and say they felt she was giving me pereferential treatment. Ever since than Mary has told me we really need to cook it and that she can not ask for my help anymore. She hasn't been as open ever since then - kinda closed herself off a little)
No.
Since you have had an obviously intimate relationship with Mary, she probably felt comfortable enough to express her displeasure by using less than professional language. Albeit unprofessional it is hardy abusive. It is not like she was saying, F&ck me or lose your job.
She was unprofessional. The fact that you have a history together has blurred the lines between language used in a professional environment and that which may/may not be typical for a social relationship.
Words of mere displeasure from your boss are not abusive. You have been reprimanded for a work performance issue. It's hardly your place to decide what words your boss should use when doing so.
And in the modern english language, f--- is nothing more than an adjective. This isn't 1950.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kodaka
Words of mere displeasure from your boss are not abusive. You have been reprimanded for a work performance issue. It's hardly your place to decide what words your boss should use when doing so.
And in the modern english language, f--- is nothing more than an adjective. This isn't 1950.
But in 1950 people didn't sue for a playful slap on the butt.
In most places a supervisor would be fired for having a sexual relationship with a subordinate employee, and now, that could come out if you were to complain and an investigation were done by HR. ANY behavior that makes an employee feel uncomfortable can be considered harassment, including language such as your boss used. This can also apply to shouting, finger-pointing, or standing too close to a person in their cubicle.I saw someone reprimanded for having their daughter's picture on her desk, wearing a professional football cheerleader outfit as it offended an older woman a few desks over.
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