a series of poems exchanged between me and my sweetie...beginning before we got together and well into the puppy-love stage...I cut out the first 4 poems because they are childish, gross and random...Funny to me and him but probably not to others. ha. It's interesting now, to see the development of our emotions through poetry. The first one was actually quite literally nonsense by him, and mine was also nonsens, then his response to that was only partially nonsense with some undertones of emotions (that went undetected by my blinded-by-deep-crush-mode eyes) and so I start this off with the 5th when I was just starting to realize my feelings might be mutual... corny, yes, but oh wellll
depend on the breath of orions mutt
squint and seek, but don't strain your eyes
either way your weight so shifts
in stone lies their demise
the chase; only a tease
to feign fulfillment
placebo? yes, please.
neither hippie, hick, nor anarchist
give me sense of camaraderie
...teumesian fox, indeed...
and now, i fear, we've wandered
into the realm of serious discussion
lowered eyebrows, heightened voices, tight, forced smiles; the repercussion
disarm me with feigned ignorance
or loosen your tongue and pique my interest
it's all the same when we die
tiny goals to occupy
pull our focus to the outside
wouldn't want to leave feeling satisfied
politics and electronics
religion and suvs
all tiny distractions
to put our brains at ease
no depth to their construction
just a mirrored slight of hand
labor towards our own destruction
the bigger the supply the more we demand
there's nothing new to think, it's all been thought before
so join me in a drink and we can laugh about it more
or we can debate ourselves to death
in the search for organización in this mess
after all, it feels so good
to imitate the rest
To you, Derek, my sincerest apologies
there are no twists or interesting stories
no tinge of greek mythology
nor scent of astrology
my fingers, they hurt, and my head, it aches
unable to conjure a worthy response right now
no cleverness bursts from my rib cage
perhaps, because my diet lacks cow
there are floors to be vacuumed, car parts to be purchased,
classes to consider
amazing how everything i am is contrasted by how i live
Posted by abandoned on October lawns on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 - 9:23 PM
[Reply to this]
************************************************** ***********************************
derek:
Current mood: amorous
So here I am again,
Paper and pencil in hand...sort of...
I'm filled with things I don't quite understand...
Yet deny this pulse, dare I not, one so sublime
Maybe it's the rush of blood
Or lack of breath, a victim of crime
A fiend, she runs, breath bound and bottled
And lost forever in sweet embrace
I shy and turn, but it's still written all over my face
So what am I to do?
I quiver for awhile...
The thought is calming, yet commoving as well
Overwhelming at first, comforted with a simple little smile
Anxious and feeling like a child
I simply sigh; misery a mysterious bliss
When at heart I'm just junkie,
Longing for just one more fix
The pain is wrenching, yet fills me with life
If I could cut it out with a knife
I'd rather wring in pain and wait for one more kiss...
************************************************** ******************
Kat
morning sun-drenched dream
translucent, gauzy, surreal
at home in this abandoned abode
nestled, nose-in-neck, oblivious to chill
perfection could never hope to achieve
this flawless affliction made flesh
volunteer my lungs to breathe
precious relief from this squeeze in my chest
insane, the need to be closer
urgent and unrestrained in the same beat
fearing the eternity its over
frantic for the second our breath meets
the pressure of your fingertips on my skin
an introduction to my bloodstream
some new chemical, maligned 'til whim,
protests then overthrows all previous regime
replay button in my mind
a song that never fails
remind me that i'm alive
ride this ebb, tear down these sails...
************************************************** ***************
derek:
Wow, you're really really good at this...
Each quatrain, each stanza, more eloquent than the prior,
To say I wasn't set ablaze with fever and ardor
Would make me more a coward than a liar
But afraid I am not, and this visitant at my door I cannot ignore
She knocked so subtly in times before
Nonetheless her very presence compelled attention
Each time to follow more virulent was her leave
Infection spread and bled invention of sorts of which before I could not mention
How is parting sweet sorrow when the arrival of tomorrow
Gives parting one more candle to it's grave
To rewind one more time, each tormenting farewell in my mind
Is much better than the lonely morrow of which I care not to save
One more embrace, one more deep breath
As simple and guile as the morning sun
To remove or forget this melodious escape I'd rather choose death
The strings of fate, interwoven and spun
Have tied a ribbon through my fortune
And no knot can be undone...
The ebb is in, the sails are down
The tidal bore directs the ships bow
Where it goes, fate only knows
Lets close our eyes let the waters carry us for now...
Posted by derek on Monday, December 22, 2008 - 2:42 PM
[Reply to this]
************************************************** **********
Kat:
close my eyes, block all distraction
and still i can't remember why
ankle wrenched, i've lost all traction
can't will my legs to stand upright
you must tell me your secret, dear opposition
how did you penetrate my defenses?
in the light of your affection
stone portcullis...mere picket fences
exist for decoration, no real intentions to protect
drenched in your adoration
heavily manned posts left derelict
asymmetric warfare
can't raise this flag much quicker
thought my breastplate was sufficient
but your resolve was so much thicker
so, what happens now, dear tyrant?
do you convert my legionnaires?
overthrow my structured plan?
enslave and degrade the royal heirs?
unrepentant, your onslaught of kisses
break every blood vessel in my face
i've forgotten my reasons for resistance
my entire plan for retreat displaced
if only i could muster the will to resist
instead i lie here in crestfallen resolve
with every sharp inhalation, and soft gentle kiss
potential defenses subside and dissolve
and now i wait...
Posted by abandoned on October lawns on Sunday, December 28, 2008 - 2:49 PM
[Reply to this]
************************************************** *************************
derek:
As one more kiss beckons reply,
The verse of intentions confused with a sigh
The will of love still pulling strings
And ever repetitious the bleeding heart sings
No amount of substance can sedate the sting
Of longing for immanence of tender affection without harm
If words I could form to convince of my love
The lips and tongues of a thousand versifiers wouldn't be enough
Assurance and adulation precipitates at the corners of eyes
For this I would kill; I would bleed; I would die
In sincerest reciprocation my hand I extend
Warranting volition which seems to have no end
Within all facility and power this purports to amend
Any mistakes or misinterpretations of alarm
I know it's not much to confide,
but all that I have still festers inside
give time, so i plead, there's so much more to tell
everything i that am through words and affection i should spell
Frame by frame, the story unfolds
The worth of the reader I wish could be told
But can only be sung, I'd die to behold
A way to assure her of how sincerely I adhere to her arms...
Posted by derek on Monday, January 05, 2009 - 5:48 PM
[Reply to this]
************************************************** ***********************************
Kat:
His lips ease utterances...
...promises of spring...
..a sweet kiss to the lids of my eyes..
his mouth breathes, into me, fresh faith in all things
a gentle hand to put at rest my worried mind
in the depths of his earth-tinged iris I bask in comfort, without fear of the unknown... an assurance that as long as he's near,
I can lie my head 'neath any sky and still be home...
his voice wrought eternal rest to this empty ache I'd once come to accept
as a part of me that would always exist
years of giving up and giving in
all this noise from within
completely squelched in the mercy of his kiss
compared to the warmth of our soundtrack
all else is sterile and synthetic
the few precious moments spent intertwined my miracle anesthetic...
i breathe deeply in his presence and pray that my blood remembers these shards of passion, his very essence
when our days edge towards december we are nothing: two members of a haughty race barely existent beings, in a barely existent place
but, in fact, we are ALL that matters...
..an entire universe awaits our whim...
Posted by abandoned on October lawns on Saturday, February 07, 2009 - 10:26 PM
[Reply to this]
************************************************** ***********************
October la…Kat
January 29, 2009 4:27 PM
the horizon stretches in trepidation, but this fog is dense
a sun-starved tundra
the deprivation runs deep
the weekend rolls around
i binge
Entire oceans await exploration, but this storm is intense
a dew-thirsty desert
the decline ever steep
the weekend rolls around
i binge
the future aches for our correlation, but these obstacles prove immense
i hurt for your touch
or eternal sleep
but then the weekend rolls around
and i binge
************************************************** ********************
derek
Binge Purge
At a loss of words, only touch can reply
My hand forever extended
Forever beckoning inclination
A cry misconstrued and abandoned
This pain is worse than any longing
Overcome only by will to endeavor in the name of love
The week rolls over
I purge
A flood is becoming
The wind is picking up speed
The fog is thick, but dissipation is nigh
With time it shall completely frivol away
The Storm is approaching to wash it all clear
Trust is enduring
Longing for reciprocation...
The week rolls over
I purge
Her touch is never fading
I breathe her
Her love is overwhelming
I feel her
Her cut is ever wounding
Over and over again it hurts and bleeds
Her sun is so warm and bright
It could raise the dead with the life of a thousand stars
Her night is so cold and dark
It could choke out the sky and drown out the sun...
But nothing is as fulfilling as her sweet affection
To which I would bleed eternally to have my own forevermore...
The week rolls over
I purge
Apologetic rebuttal inadequate to her grace
Yet I will forever reiterate, my hand against her sweet, warm face...
I feel more and more alive with each passing time
My poisons are fading and she is more and more sublime
To turn back the time and take all the pain
Would be a godsend, but false just the same
I know it's not much...but this is my word
My word is never fading, never breaking, never faking, never absurd
I love you; I breathe you; I would kill for you; I would die for you
One more week rolls over...
On love I shall binge...
************************************************** **********
Kat
I would that I were the morning sun
*...for I am certain it was made for him...*
*rises and treks through the window*
just to rest upon his skin*
to warm his lips and eyelids*
to beckon the warmth within*
*and then I open my eyes to find*
his very flesh ablaze with sunshine*
*I beg every breath I dare to take in*
be filled with the scent of his morning drenched skin*
*to brush and caress*
to kiss and be blessed*
with the sincerity of his hands*
to wake 'til the end of my days to his face*
in the surreality of the promising morning rays*
I'd tread the soils of a thousand lands*
Posted by abandoned on October l
***********************************************
derek
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The Morning Sun
Alas you are that morning sun...you and you alone
Forever warming my heart and blood
With radiance so brilliant and chatoyant colored...
Taken aback with every frame captured and copied
Each moment a lifetime in its own
Constant trepidation aching in the bones
Some arcanum boils behind blue eyes
Escaping slowly through every kiss
The tension spikes and then subsides
Moiling blood and quivering iris resonates the undertones
Countenance in expressive skin
Wishing endurance, clutching to revery
of which a mere whisper of incredulity
festers the unbecoming imagination
Hoping to shelter it all within
But who am I but only human?
...a single leaf bent to collapse at the weight of every drop of rain
Each sign another drop...each drop another everlasting stain
Signs are misleading, but illiterate I am not
Doth twice the sides hold this criterion?
Doth expectations possess exception in that
of the goose to the gander?
As well conceived propaganda facilitates illusion,
A two-way mirror magnifies confusion
...imagining the results of reciprocated action...
Mendicancy for attention to an unreachable quota
Yet the ever-expending pursuant forever continues
The Teumessian fox forever pursued by Laelaps...
Forever meant to rest together in the stars
Alas I long for that morning sun with every minute of every hour...do I alone?
Lack of reference to compare
Lack of knowledge to prepare
Surplus of stigma from the past
Bliss is fleeting...somaesthesia will always last
Liberation from these...I implore thee
With every loving kiss I feel this granted
Sooth unfolding, the heart’s hand outstretched forever to the morning sun ..
********************
derek
The Drunken Poet
To the endless days and everlasting mornings
I strive to behold some comfort in mourning
Blurred vision distorts all signs of warning
Yet still I succumb to drift in her waters of windy redemption
Oblivious to the lights, to the walls, to the sounds
Echoes returning, nobody around
Painful in parting with heart tied and bound
Elusive assuagement chased by inebriant
O’er the fence of boundaries and scars
Under the trench of disciplined afar
I gaze and behold the wonders of heart
And offer my own hand and heart without retention
To make of myself a fool, I would deny the answers
Still upon the break of being I question the indifference
Ever protruding and malignant with cancers
Benign only to deem the followers a hindrance
Dripping with woe for longing of peace
Oh, dear lord, how I long for this so...
So much I would put to death all sources of obstruction
If the cause beckons me to do so...
To make myself a tool to well crafted apprentice
and purge my soul of affliction
Ashamed of the mirrored image, mind yellowed and jaundice
and heart strung out from addiction
To the fleeting nights I seek comfort and redemption
Tighter and tighter I want her embrace
Severed and lonely do I feel this distension
As my heart swells to engulf and escape the empty space
Languish...amort to myself with absence of affection
Patiently awaiting internal salvation to be dispersed upon the week’s end
Permanence awaiting, as well with temperance
Lament revived on the morrow of every week
Doth the future behold purgatory or alleviation?
To either denouement, both arms wide open
...and lips firmly pressed in a seal of affirmation...
Decision sits and resolution stands
...Nothing in this life or the next would ever close my hand
So I wait alone for thee... in fidel perpetuity ‘til the morning of eternal dawn...
...of which I whole-heartedly dream and revere with loving repose
************************************************** ************************************
kat
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Another Horatian Ode of the Bibulous Babbler
Once again, pen in hand
Scratching, clawing to understand
Nothing less that can demand
The pieces missing; firmament to resolve
Twice again, hand to head
Rubbing, clutching to save the dread
Tossing and turning within my bed
Vexation fading with slow dissolve
Thrice and then head to cheek
Hand in hand, eyes blue oblique
Lips to lips make knees go weak
A beautiful mystery I dare not solve
Something’s changed, but nothing’s lost
Fear has been overcome by comforting refuge
No longer doth the writer squirm in anxious precaution
Reflective tranquility to the becoming and hopeful future
So long have I yearned to relinquish my stone;
I finally lift my leg at ease to move on to the beautiful new day
And so a story is beginning
The epilogue paid to promise
Two scared lovers blindly interweave
Eyes closed and hands clenched tightly around each other
The plot thickens
The blood quickens
Enveloping grasp, please return to me...
As if ever a pauper, I shall beg to thee...
In this dysphoric hour I need you now the most
I need your touch, your embrace, your loving repose
But alas, once again, I sadly slumber alone
Weary and wondering awake by the phone
Woe all but fleeting
Yet eagerly pondering hereafter’s unknown...
************************************************** ********************
derek
Thursday, March 19, 2009
To you, my dearest love
To you, my dearest love, I send a kiss
If a kiss were to carry a message, ours would be in song.
Back and forth from melody to harmony
Our lips chase each other with quaint curiosity
Without thought, lead changes in breathtaking motion
Eyes closed but wide open,
Arms tight but all is let loose
So splendid in oblivious surrender
To you, my dearest love, I extend my hand
If a hand were to deliver a fortune, yours would be of serenity
Indifferent to an end, so long as your love never fades
Our hands embrace each other with gentle affirmation
Without sound they speak of endless devotion
Eyes open with wondering gaze
So brightly alive with vivid adoration
As splendid as I always remember
To you, my dearest love, I surrender this vessel
If my life were an object, it would be to your taking
Trusting in your hands alone
My hearts rests fragile and exposed
Without pause it beats ferociously and aloud
Eyes closed and bodies clenched tightly
Soft skin to soft skin in loving embrace
As splendid as that day in december
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