Atheist Kate

Over the months this blog of mine has gotten a lot of my attention. It could almost be my online etherapist, if such a thing existed. I have submitted blog entries early in the morning, during lunch hour at work, even in the late night. Anyway, here is one more entry into my etherapist's folder...

I just looked through this idiotic blog of mine to see if I have ever mentioned that I am an atheist. I certainly could have included it in my last blog entry where I talked about my oddballism, but my atheism never came to mind as I was writing that entry. I hinted at my atheism once or twice in earlier entries but I never actually declared it. Well, allow me to declare it now. I am an atheist. I have been an atheist for nearly a decade. I was originally indoctrinated as a Methodist. In my early childhood I attended Methodist Sunday school. When I was a little older I could be found sitting in a Methodist church pew on Sunday mornings.

I quit believing in a god when I was about 18. My atheism is a product of my own critical thinking and nothing more. I never became disappointed in God, no one ever talked me out of my religious beliefs.

The simple fact is; there is essentially no evidence that there is a god. There is more hard evidence that there are flying saucers visiting earth than there is evidence of a god. There are photos of flying saucers. Alleged pieces of extraterrestrial space vehicles exist. Are the photos reliable? Are the pieces of flying saucers authentic? The answer to both of those questions is almost assuredly no, nevertheless these things are evidence. No evidence of a god exists, reliable or otherwise. If I am going to do the rational, objective thing and base my personal beliefs on evidence, then if I’m going to believe in the existence of a god, I also have to believe in flying saucers. I’ve decided to believe in neither. I think the odds are; neither flying saucers, nor God exist.

I had been an atheist about a year when I casually informed my parents of my decision. My father was wonderfully indifferent, but my mother was somewhat crestfallen. She asked me how long I had been an atheist and I told her. But I think that almost immediately she realized that the Methodist Kate and the atheist Kate were pretty much identical to each other. I was the same person with or without religion. I went through the same thing with a couple of my friends too.

Being an atheist has a number of good points. To start, I can sleep in on Sunday morning. Also, I feel no need to pray. I can wear the type of clothing I want; no need for the Muslim burka. I can eat what I want, when I want. I can ignore Lent.

Occasionally the religious practices of others can negatively affect me, sometimes even in odd, unexpected ways. I think it was in January that I went out with a Mormon guy. He was my second date following the end of a long-term relationship that I had been in. I did not know he was Mormon until we were sitting in the restaurant that evening. I recommended a specific red wine for his pasta dinner and he told me that he was a devout Mormon and could not drink alcoholic beverages. The news didn’t really bother me. But when I asked him what other restraints his Mormonism had on him, he replied that, among a few other things, he could not engage in premarital sex. He was a very nice guy but any man who is not available for a pre-marital sexual relationship is a man who I am not interested in dating, at least not romantically. After all, I am a woman of 27, not a girl of 16. As gently and discreetly as I could, I relayed to him those sentiments. He seemed a bit disappointed, but not surprised. Truth is; I have wondered why he asked me out at all. He knew that I had lived “in sin” with a guy for three years. Maybe he was simply lonely and wanted some non-sexual snuggling.

I hope a god exists, which makes me a somewhat unusual atheist, I think. I cannot know whether there is, or is not a god. No one can. I can no longer believe that there is a god. My rational thinking won’t allow me. But I can still hope that there is a god. However I do not want the cruel, vengeful, jealous god of the Bible or the Koran. The god I hope for cannot be like them. My god would snicker with amusement upon hearing a mortal tell a silly white lie. My version of god would grin and rolls his eyes when a motorist, confronted by a police officer, stretched the truth to try to avoid a speeding ticket. My preferred god would be a smiling, good-natured god who would reserve his anger for only the most vile of humans. My god, the god of my hopes, would believe that all people are equal, no matter what the color, no matter what the sexual preference.

I would like to think that my version of god would read this blog entry and think that I am a decent, moral person, not just despite my atheism, but perhaps to some degree because of my atheism. My god would see that my atheism makes me incapable of anger or bigotry based on some religious teachings. I do not believe such a god exists, but I can hope such a god exists. He would be the kind of god really worth hoping for.