Regrets at missed opportunities in high school and college; fewer regrets in life
Posted 12-06-2020 at 07:28 PM by jbgusa
"Regrets, I've had a few But then again, too few to mention." This is not about Frank Sinatra though I owe the title of the post to "My Way", lyrics by Paul Anka (link). Regrets at missed opportunities in high school and college; fewer regrets in life
I am now reading the later parts of The Proud Tower by Barbara Tuchman, a tour d’force of the history of antebellum, i.e. pre-World War I history in Europe and the U.S. Parts of the book were assigned to me for reading in either High School or at Cornell; it doesn’t really matter which. What it got me to thinking about was the many missed opportunities, both in academic and personal life during those years. Yet those missed opportunities have not cost me all that much.
During my years in elementary and junior high school, grades 2-8, I was in one school, which we’ll call “Q School.” The students in Q School merged into a Senior High School in an affluent community, which we’ll call “S School.” The other students in S School had previously had a merger from their K-5 elementary school into one Junior High School. Q School never merged until 9th Grade.
My years at Q school were pretty good academically, not good socially. I guess when I got into S School I took the academic part for granted, and pined for social acceptance. The same thing happened when I started Cornell. I didn’t really get the social acceptance. I did make a lifelong friend or two during this period that has more than made up for it.
Another regret; dropping my religious education after my Bar Mitzvah on May 2, 1970. My father's death, not through any religious experience but through my participation writing my father's eulogy brouhg me back. This, along with one of my lifelong friend's prodding.
But let’s get back to The Proud Tower. The book is astounding. I’ll be honest; I didn’t concentrate on it when it was assigned reading. Ditto The Peloponnesian Wars, by Thucicydes, assigned sometime during 1978, either spring Junior Year or fall Senior Year at Cornell. I read some of it, but it was a chore. Now, reading it, I wished I had grasped the richness of the material. Doubtless there are other illustrations. My grades were not great at Cornell, but somehow I did get into Boston University Law School. My performance was decidedly pedestrian also.
But how did all this turn out in the end? Not bad, given a decidedly mediocre amount of effort.
I met my wife of almost thirty great years through a casual female friend, L, when I was a senior, she was a freshman. Quite by accident we went to a Grateful Dead concert together on May 9, 1979. Exactly twelve years to the day, May 9, 1991, I married by wife, Linda. She was introduced to me by L. I scraped to get a job after law school and don’t even want to print my initial salary. Two jobs and three and a half years later, I met my current professional colleague and mentor riding a Metro North train on hot Thursday in June. We are still together. My career is quite interesting. Lucrative – no. But I do well enough to have paid off my mortgage early and remained employed through the Coronavirus pandemic. My wife and two children are all healthy. One is fully employed as a civil engineer, the other on furlough because of the pandemic.
All in all, this is not a bad outcome. I've picked up my Jewish education by participating in Torah Study, adult learning and other opportunities at my synagogue and elsewhere. And yes, I’ll finish The Proud Tower, and reclaim some of the missed opportunities.
I am now reading the later parts of The Proud Tower by Barbara Tuchman, a tour d’force of the history of antebellum, i.e. pre-World War I history in Europe and the U.S. Parts of the book were assigned to me for reading in either High School or at Cornell; it doesn’t really matter which. What it got me to thinking about was the many missed opportunities, both in academic and personal life during those years. Yet those missed opportunities have not cost me all that much.
During my years in elementary and junior high school, grades 2-8, I was in one school, which we’ll call “Q School.” The students in Q School merged into a Senior High School in an affluent community, which we’ll call “S School.” The other students in S School had previously had a merger from their K-5 elementary school into one Junior High School. Q School never merged until 9th Grade.
My years at Q school were pretty good academically, not good socially. I guess when I got into S School I took the academic part for granted, and pined for social acceptance. The same thing happened when I started Cornell. I didn’t really get the social acceptance. I did make a lifelong friend or two during this period that has more than made up for it.
Another regret; dropping my religious education after my Bar Mitzvah on May 2, 1970. My father's death, not through any religious experience but through my participation writing my father's eulogy brouhg me back. This, along with one of my lifelong friend's prodding.
But let’s get back to The Proud Tower. The book is astounding. I’ll be honest; I didn’t concentrate on it when it was assigned reading. Ditto The Peloponnesian Wars, by Thucicydes, assigned sometime during 1978, either spring Junior Year or fall Senior Year at Cornell. I read some of it, but it was a chore. Now, reading it, I wished I had grasped the richness of the material. Doubtless there are other illustrations. My grades were not great at Cornell, but somehow I did get into Boston University Law School. My performance was decidedly pedestrian also.
But how did all this turn out in the end? Not bad, given a decidedly mediocre amount of effort.
I met my wife of almost thirty great years through a casual female friend, L, when I was a senior, she was a freshman. Quite by accident we went to a Grateful Dead concert together on May 9, 1979. Exactly twelve years to the day, May 9, 1991, I married by wife, Linda. She was introduced to me by L. I scraped to get a job after law school and don’t even want to print my initial salary. Two jobs and three and a half years later, I met my current professional colleague and mentor riding a Metro North train on hot Thursday in June. We are still together. My career is quite interesting. Lucrative – no. But I do well enough to have paid off my mortgage early and remained employed through the Coronavirus pandemic. My wife and two children are all healthy. One is fully employed as a civil engineer, the other on furlough because of the pandemic.
All in all, this is not a bad outcome. I've picked up my Jewish education by participating in Torah Study, adult learning and other opportunities at my synagogue and elsewhere. And yes, I’ll finish The Proud Tower, and reclaim some of the missed opportunities.
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