Divorced with no regrets!
Posted 08-29-2014 at 04:35 AM by Zeurich
Updated 08-29-2014 at 06:12 AM by Zeurich (Bring to the right catagory.)
Updated 08-29-2014 at 06:12 AM by Zeurich (Bring to the right catagory.)
I have celebrated 5th anniversary of my divorce. Yes it is it not usual some one say that. But that is the day I felt "hurray I am free" My marriage was not an easy one at all.
when I have realized I choose the wrong person, it was quiet late. He was aggressive no respect. Say things does not care if some one get hurts. Coupling my name with other men who ever he knew or not even knew. Very jealous of my achievements at work Promotions, high grade passes at work exams. For those instead of saying " you done your best girl" his compliment was " oh you might slept with some one there if not then you are not no one to get that" He never took me to his work place employees functions or anything his reasoning was " he is ashamed to go with me because I am not attractive enough" well I wonder how I tolerated that some how I did. I am sure some power up there guided me. Since the day I married he had only complains. There were some times went very good but that is less than 73 hours.
Time passed, instead of expect compliments I learned not to expect anything but I start making my self progress. I joined every learning projects what my work offered. I went for whole seminars. I joined to online forums I start talking to people. Reading lot of books. I have become more confident person by the time.
At the end family members involved regarding the situation, they wanted to see we are becoming parents. Yes I respect that but .... still...
At the end both side parents proposed marriage counseling. Hopla there we go.
My husband dropped a nice story to the therapist. He is stressed because we have no time to see each other I am always on the go, I give priority to work. After few sessions of therapies, counselor adviced me to resign the job ...that was not my best interest but well ... for the sake of family life lets do...I wrote my resignation and went to the personal head.. he sit on the roof for a moment that a marriage counselor adviced me to resign.
He accepted my resignation with the promise coming back after some time.
my heart was fallen on the ground when I was leaving the building where I worked for 8 years at that time.
I become a house wife I hope every one happy. But my husband was as same as he was. He go to work I do all the house chores what I did even when I had work. He come home eat .... watch tv... then go to his office room and hang on internet..... and then read a book from Buddhism. So I kept quiet this routine was every day. I asked calmly" now you said we don't have time to each other, now I am home. I did not have a dinner with you together. you eat in front of the TV. Can we may be spend the time more together for that I gave up my carrier. His answer surprised me " oooh those are just feelings Lord Buddha said not to go behind feelings"
Our sex life was not good at all. Some times 3 times per 6 months something like that. I start to feel marriage counseling is just waste of money this man got no interested in a marriage but he need a woman for a show off that he has a wife. But still I went for the therapy with a hope Next advice was making a baby.
Well yes we tried but was not succeeded. Then we went to a specialist. He said " you too need have physical contact at least every day not 3 times in 6 months that is not enough to get pregnant and look at the calendar for the success days" 
With the specialist help I gave a birth to my princess 9 years ago in 2004 in the age of 26.
So as magically some thing changed as marriage counselor said ....... hell ... NOPE...
He was him self nothing changed due to sacrifice of my carrier or having a baby. False accusations threatening was not ended but badly increased.
One day I saw his Skype opened .I did not even know he had Skype so I know it is not nice but I pop my nose. Got-ya many woman in his contact list . Some left messages " I miss your darling down under my love"
On single moment I realize that there should be a damn reason to treat me like that. My mind was very calm. I kept quiet but when my daughter was 3 months old, we went to a park close by. When we were coming back to the car there was a little Scratch on the back bumper. Whoa he was damn aggressive, that was all my fault I damage his car bumper. He throw the items from my child and he dump me in the park with my child whole alone, he went away. I did not panic. I call my boss and I asked if I can have some work to start. I was bit afraid of asking him my carrier back as I have resigned.
He asked my why don't you start where you stopped? We did not put you as resigned we put you as went on no pay leave due to some family issues.
I called a taxi cab and came home. He gave me a victory look as " I gave you a lesson"
yeah baby you did.
I made my mind . I decide to go for a divorce because this is not worth. But I arrange everything on my own that took some time like 3 years. I told him " I filed the divorce- that is what you always wanted right. " He was outrages mad at the end I had to call the police to stop more torture.
How ever the financial difficulties I went and going through because of his credit card debts loans. I still feel relaxed because NO REGRETS I have done my best.
Single life begun 5 years ago with a 4 year old kid. But still I am proud of my self for three things. Not giving up, being faithful even he was a jerk and a dirt, not taking instant decisions. My marriage ended in 12th year anniversary. For saying I never received flowers, anniversary card either kiss. But no worries. God given me a princess to be happy with.
I went out a week end with my daughter to Disneyland Paris and we too had a very great time there.
Life with no regrets I always appreciate!
when I have realized I choose the wrong person, it was quiet late. He was aggressive no respect. Say things does not care if some one get hurts. Coupling my name with other men who ever he knew or not even knew. Very jealous of my achievements at work Promotions, high grade passes at work exams. For those instead of saying " you done your best girl" his compliment was " oh you might slept with some one there if not then you are not no one to get that" He never took me to his work place employees functions or anything his reasoning was " he is ashamed to go with me because I am not attractive enough" well I wonder how I tolerated that some how I did. I am sure some power up there guided me. Since the day I married he had only complains. There were some times went very good but that is less than 73 hours.
Time passed, instead of expect compliments I learned not to expect anything but I start making my self progress. I joined every learning projects what my work offered. I went for whole seminars. I joined to online forums I start talking to people. Reading lot of books. I have become more confident person by the time.
At the end family members involved regarding the situation, they wanted to see we are becoming parents. Yes I respect that but .... still...
At the end both side parents proposed marriage counseling. Hopla there we go.
My husband dropped a nice story to the therapist. He is stressed because we have no time to see each other I am always on the go, I give priority to work. After few sessions of therapies, counselor adviced me to resign the job ...that was not my best interest but well ... for the sake of family life lets do...I wrote my resignation and went to the personal head.. he sit on the roof for a moment that a marriage counselor adviced me to resign.
He accepted my resignation with the promise coming back after some time.
my heart was fallen on the ground when I was leaving the building where I worked for 8 years at that time.
I become a house wife I hope every one happy. But my husband was as same as he was. He go to work I do all the house chores what I did even when I had work. He come home eat .... watch tv... then go to his office room and hang on internet..... and then read a book from Buddhism. So I kept quiet this routine was every day. I asked calmly" now you said we don't have time to each other, now I am home. I did not have a dinner with you together. you eat in front of the TV. Can we may be spend the time more together for that I gave up my carrier. His answer surprised me " oooh those are just feelings Lord Buddha said not to go behind feelings"
Our sex life was not good at all. Some times 3 times per 6 months something like that. I start to feel marriage counseling is just waste of money this man got no interested in a marriage but he need a woman for a show off that he has a wife. But still I went for the therapy with a hope Next advice was making a baby.
Well yes we tried but was not succeeded. Then we went to a specialist. He said " you too need have physical contact at least every day not 3 times in 6 months that is not enough to get pregnant and look at the calendar for the success days" With the specialist help I gave a birth to my princess 9 years ago in 2004 in the age of 26.
So as magically some thing changed as marriage counselor said ....... hell ... NOPE...
He was him self nothing changed due to sacrifice of my carrier or having a baby. False accusations threatening was not ended but badly increased.
One day I saw his Skype opened .I did not even know he had Skype so I know it is not nice but I pop my nose. Got-ya many woman in his contact list . Some left messages " I miss your darling down under my love"
On single moment I realize that there should be a damn reason to treat me like that. My mind was very calm. I kept quiet but when my daughter was 3 months old, we went to a park close by. When we were coming back to the car there was a little Scratch on the back bumper. Whoa he was damn aggressive, that was all my fault I damage his car bumper. He throw the items from my child and he dump me in the park with my child whole alone, he went away. I did not panic. I call my boss and I asked if I can have some work to start. I was bit afraid of asking him my carrier back as I have resigned.
He asked my why don't you start where you stopped? We did not put you as resigned we put you as went on no pay leave due to some family issues.
I called a taxi cab and came home. He gave me a victory look as " I gave you a lesson"
yeah baby you did. I made my mind . I decide to go for a divorce because this is not worth. But I arrange everything on my own that took some time like 3 years. I told him " I filed the divorce- that is what you always wanted right. " He was outrages mad at the end I had to call the police to stop more torture.
How ever the financial difficulties I went and going through because of his credit card debts loans. I still feel relaxed because NO REGRETS I have done my best.
Single life begun 5 years ago with a 4 year old kid. But still I am proud of my self for three things. Not giving up, being faithful even he was a jerk and a dirt, not taking instant decisions. My marriage ended in 12th year anniversary. For saying I never received flowers, anniversary card either kiss. But no worries. God given me a princess to be happy with.
I went out a week end with my daughter to Disneyland Paris and we too had a very great time there.
Life with no regrets I always appreciate!
Total Comments 2
Comments
-
You are a very stong woman. Well done for moving on with your life. Just like waking up from a long nightmare. Thanks for sharing your story.Posted 09-29-2014 at 10:48 AM by John13
-
Thank you for your kind comment, how suffer how get we strong I think that is the circle.Posted 10-05-2014 at 12:37 PM by Zeurich
