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On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said,
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said,
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said,
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
God went up to Man and said, "I will give you 20 years normal sex life". Man said, "Great, I'll take it."
Then God went up to the Monkey and said, "I'll give you 20 years normal sex life." The Monkey said, "No, I'll only take 10." Man stands up and yells, "I'll take his other 10." God said ok.
Then God went up to the Lion and said, "I'll give you 20 years normal sex life." The Lion said, "No, I'll only take 10." Once again, Man stands up and yells, "I'll take his other 10." God said ok.
That is why today, the average man has 20 years normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around and 10 years lying (lion) about it.
I heard it a little different. the first 20 years we act like a dog, trying to screw anything that moves, the next twenty years, like a Panda, not really getting it together, while everyone watches to see whether there could be some offspring. The last years, like the Walrus, lying about telling ourselves that all the females really are ours for the asking.
Sitting on the Back porch so that the passers by don't bark at me.
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The REAL story of creation...
the first 20 years we act like a dog, trying to screw anything that moves, the next twenty years, like a Panda, not really getting it together, while everyone watches to see whether there could be some offspring. The last years, like the Walrus, lying about telling ourselves that all the females really are ours for the asking.
