Atheist Forum Joke Thread (hell, God, Earth, children)

[The Last Amalekite 1Sam15]

[Cruithne]

Originally Posted by normstad

Please, can everyone stop with the color fonts?

It is terribly rude and distracting.

I think the post was cheese colored.

[normstad]

[guterwitz]

The night judge is surprised to see a priest, a minister and a rabbi brought into the courtroom. "What are they charged with?" he asks the arresting officer. "Gambling, your honor. On their knees in an alley shooting craps."

The judge could not believe his ears. Turning to the priest, he says, "Tell me the truth now, Father. Were you gambling?"

The priest thinks to himself, "The dear sisters will be so upset if they hear about this. Please Lord, forgive me this little lie." "No, your honor. I was not gambling."

Turning to the minister, the judge says, "Tell me the truth now, Reverend. Were you gambling?"

The minister thinks to himself, "The congregation will be shocked if they hear about this. Please Lord, forgive me this little lie." "No, your honor. I was not gambling."

Turning to the rabbi, the judge says, "Tell me the truth now, Rabbi. Were you gambling?"

"Who with?"

[TRANSPONDER]

We are getting some good ones

[guterwitz]

An oldie that was originally sung


A man said to God, What's a million years to you?

God said, A minute

Then the man said to God, What's a million dollars to you?

God said, A penny

So the man said to God, Would you give me a penny?

God said, Yes I will



In a minute

[guterwitz]

A man goes into the confessional booth and says:

Father, I am 80 years old and in 55 years of marriage I had never been unfaithful to my wife. But yesterday I had sex with an 18 year old girl, twice! And we both really enjoyed it.

The priest is a little taken aback and is not sure what to say. Finally he speaks.

“When was your last confession?”

“Never, I’m Jewish.”

“So why are you telling me this?"

"I’m telling everybody!"

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by The Last Amalekite 1Sam15

I have to say that this makeover is EXACTLY what he needed!

[TRANSPONDER]

Originally Posted by guterwitz

A man goes into the confessional booth and says:

Father, I am 80 years old and in 55 years of marriage I had never been unfaithful to my wife. But yesterday I had sex with an 18 year old girl, twice! And we both really enjoyed it.

The priest is a little taken aback and is not sure what to say. Finally he speaks.

“When was your last confession?”

“Never, I’m Jewish.”

“So why are you telling me this?"

"I’m telling everybody!"

But not his wife.

[LearnMe]

I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman!

Waken up with a few however...