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I was out of college before I realized that it's "skank" and not "scank." LOL. Sisters, need to learn how to manipulate some spelling..LOL. I didn't have to do you like that.... Moving on....
I agree with you 100% on this point. "When you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong." Uh huh. You've hit the nail right on the head sister.
Wherever you go, there you are.....look... if you seem to be attracting the same types of black men over and over again, maybe you need to stop and ask yourself a simple question...why? I don't say that to be mean, but seriously, think about it. Could it possibly be you? This is not just to you, but to all the sisters who "amen" you out in the worls and want to co-sign your post.
Is it fair for me to say that I know plenty of awesome black women and they don't attract nary a thug unless they want that for themselves? How do they do it? Is that unfair? Ok. Can I tell you that I have dated some great women right there in Atlanta and it has not been a problem at all?
No? Ok. "The ratio is in favor of black men in Atlanta?" That doesn't seem to affect the other Christian AA women right there in Atlanta with husbands and boyfriends that are happy and doing well relationally. Do you have AA girlfriends? Are they all single? Still not fair? Let's flip it. I'm an awesome Christian AA guy and I don't attract hood rats. Rats see me and keep it moving. I do tend to attract women like me: Christian, white-collar, college-educated, no kids etc. How? It's not magic.
I have dated some really great Christian women right there in Atlanta. Check this out: I have also dated some Christian AA women that were not cool at all. They were not marriage material and really should not have been dating. But yet, I still love black women.
I take each one of you as a separate experience. If I don't, I risk the danger of missing a great woman. You are not Shequita and she is not you. I will not assume that you will Clorox my clothes like Shequita until you do so. Do not assume that I will throw hot grits on you until you see the grits in my hand and then flying at you. That's fair. If I were to generalize, I would say that many black women have difficulty separating one relationship experience from the next. You only end up carrying a huge burden. It doesn't really affect me at all, I just keep it moving.
As you've apparently noticed, in Atlanta, we really don't have to put up with it. And the "it" is anything at all. Guess who does not have a problem with black men in Atlanta? Roll call: White women, Hispanic women, Asian Women, Mixed-raced women.
Let's put the brakes on the generalizations. I hate when I generalize (see above)
What numbers? What experiences? There's a danger in taking your own personal experiences and trying to make them reality. Just because you don't have a Christian AA man in your life with all of the qualities that you desire does not mean that they do not exist in Atlanta. These brothers are in Atlanta. Here's my own anecdotal evidence as I go about life in Atlanta. I see black men and black women together....every.....single.....day. Every single day. Couples that are young, old, and right smack in the middle. I know happy and healthy unmarried and married AA couples right there in Atlanta. Plenty.
You're looking for a black man at (1) The Chinese New Year's celebration, (2) A Hockey Game, and (3) The Rodeo.... if you're trying to say that you haven't met many black men at these places, I believe you.
What's your next event to meet black men, a Klan rally? "Girl, I cannot believe that NO good brothers were at the Klan rally!! Anyway, it's cool. The Grand Wizard was giving me the eye....maybe he has an Asian friend too."
Well, I can say that I've been to a Thrasher's game.....but I went to watch hockey...with white people...and I wasn't confused when I walked up in there.
You know what's slave talk? Bashing black men, that's slave talk. Real talk. Hating me is hating yourself. When you generalize me in a negative way, you hate your brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers and so on.
Look, the first step to finding the AA man that you desire is to change your perspective on us. How could you possibly attract a good AA guy when your lens is clouded by such negativity? Good dudes sense things of this nature. We avoid the angry and confused girls as much as possible. *Light bulb* But, you know who loves angry/hard/you can't tell me nothing chicks.....you got it, thugs and guys who talk about their "skills".
But, it's good that you grew up with your father in the house. That is an real issue in the AA community...but so is gold-digging, cussing me out, stabbing me, and cloroxing my clothes.
You've offended not only me and many brothers, but all of the bald-headed sisters on City-data as well.
This is the second realest stuff that I ever wrote.....
Granted, I think what we've been saying all along is that it's not that good black men don't exist, it's just more difficult to find a good one and a good one for one's self specifically. I think the good ones (I am assuming you are!) get offended by our statements of frustration. I have encountered several "good ones" (sounds funny to say it that way) but we weren't right for each other for various reasons. I have no reason to be bitter or swear off all black men (I can see how that might be offensive) but I am aware of the problems in the black community specifically with many of our men (I didn't say all!) that need to be addressed. I'm hoping that as a people we will come together and the "good ones" will mentor our youth and give them the male influence they do desperately need.
Man, this has got to be one of the best posts here, hands down. If I were in the same room as you, I'd give the same hug Kobe gave to Phil Jackson after the Finals!!
You hit on the nail. You my friend said it, and said it well !! Big ups!!
(Negative people here, take note. This is was what I was saying. Don't listen to the poison that spreads hate and division on these threads. You clearly know who you are)
You had me with the Klan rally piece. My wife and I were Rolling On the Floor Laughing our butts off!! Thanks again for an insightful, intelligent and humor-filled post.
MisterNY,
Big ups back man! This crazy talk had to be shutdown, it was getting ridiculous. You know that a lot of bruhs feel this way, sisters too. I can go on a bad date and then visit my parents, take one look at my mom and I know the truth. Why hate us and down us? Especially when I do what I do for you. Lots of brothers out there are doing it. From sunrise to sunset, grinding..trying to do it right, make it happen, living positive lives and making an impact.
Let's talk about that. Let's start a "Great Things That I've Seen Black Men Do" post.
People keep spitting this poison on these posts and they hi-five one another...it's crazy.
The Klan piece.....that was pretty ridiculous, wasn't it? But, I had to laugh man....
You guys doing positive things get looked past because we can't figure out how the thug right next to you keeps his pants from falling down completely but yet exposes his entire behind
Quote:
Originally Posted by keepthefaith
MisterNY,
Big ups back man! This crazy talk had to be shutdown, it was getting ridiculous. You know that a lot of bruhs feel this way, sisters too. I can go on a bad date and then visit my parents, take one look at my mom and I know the truth. Why hate us and down us? Especially when I do what I do for you. Lots of brothers out there are doing it. From sunrise to sunset, grinding..trying to do it right, make it happen, living positive lives and making an impact.
Let's talk about that. Let's start a "Great Things That I've Seen Black Men Do" post.
People keep spitting this poison on these posts and they hi-five one another...it's crazy.
The Klan piece.....that was pretty ridiculous, wasn't it? But, I had to laugh man....
I was out of college before I realized that it's "skank" and not "scank." LOL. Sisters, need to learn how to manipulate some spelling..LOL. I didn't have to do you like that.... Moving on....
I agree with you 100% on this point. "When you've had far too many negative experiences something is wrong." Uh huh. You've hit the nail right on the head sister.
Wherever you go, there you are.....look... if you seem to be attracting the same types of black men over and over again, maybe you need to stop and ask yourself a simple question...why? I don't say that to be mean, but seriously, think about it. Could it possibly be you? This is not just to you, but to all the sisters who "amen" you out in the worls and want to co-sign your post.
Is it fair for me to say that I know plenty of awesome black women and they don't attract nary a thug unless they want that for themselves? How do they do it? Is that unfair? Ok. Can I tell you that I have dated some great women right there in Atlanta and it has not been a problem at all?
No? Ok. "The ratio is in favor of black men in Atlanta?" That doesn't seem to affect the other Christian AA women right there in Atlanta with husbands and boyfriends that are happy and doing well relationally. Do you have AA girlfriends? Are they all single? Still not fair? Let's flip it. I'm an awesome Christian AA guy and I don't attract hood rats. Rats see me and keep it moving. I do tend to attract women like me: Christian, white-collar, college-educated, no kids etc. How? It's not magic.
I have dated some really great Christian women right there in Atlanta. Check this out: I have also dated some Christian AA women that were not cool at all. They were not marriage material and really should not have been dating. But yet, I still love black women.
I take each one of you as a separate experience. If I don't, I risk the danger of missing a great woman. You are not Shequita and she is not you. I will not assume that you will Clorox my clothes like Shequita until you do so. Do not assume that I will throw hot grits on you until you see the grits in my hand and then flying at you. That's fair. If I were to generalize, I would say that many black women have difficulty separating one relationship experience from the next. You only end up carrying a huge burden. It doesn't really affect me at all, I just keep it moving.
As you've apparently noticed, in Atlanta, we really don't have to put up with it. And the "it" is anything at all. Guess who does not have a problem with black men in Atlanta? Roll call: White women, Hispanic women, Asian Women, Mixed-raced women.
Let's put the brakes on the generalizations. I hate when I generalize (see above)
What numbers? What experiences? There's a danger in taking your own personal experiences and trying to make them reality. Just because you don't have a Christian AA man in your life with all of the qualities that you desire does not mean that they do not exist in Atlanta. These brothers are in Atlanta. Here's my own anecdotal evidence as I go about life in Atlanta. I see black men and black women together....every.....single.....day. Every single day. Couples that are young, old, and right smack in the middle. I know happy and healthy unmarried and married AA couples right there in Atlanta. Plenty.
You're looking for a black man at (1) The Chinese New Year's celebration, (2) A Hockey Game, and (3) The Rodeo.... if you're trying to say that you haven't met many black men at these places, I believe you.
What's your next event to meet black men, a Klan rally? "Girl, I cannot believe that NO good brothers were at the Klan rally!! Anyway, it's cool. The Grand Wizard was giving me the eye....maybe he has an Asian friend too."
Well, I can say that I've been to a Thrasher's game.....but I went to watch hockey...with white people...and I wasn't confused when I walked up in there.
You know what's slave talk? Bashing black men, that's slave talk. Real talk. Hating me is hating yourself. When you generalize me in a negative way, you hate your brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers and so on.
Look, the first step to finding the AA man that you desire is to change your perspective on us. How could you possibly attract a good AA guy when your lens is clouded by such negativity? Good dudes sense things of this nature. We avoid the angry and confused girls as much as possible. *Light bulb* But, you know who loves angry/hard/you can't tell me nothing chicks.....you got it, thugs and guys who talk about their "skills".
But, it's good that you grew up with your father in the house. That is an real issue in the AA community...but so is gold-digging, cussing me out, stabbing me, and cloroxing my clothes.
You've offended not only me and many brothers, but all of the bald-headed sisters on City-data as well.
This is the second realest stuff that I ever wrote.....
Agreed. A good part of the psot you replied to comes across as haughty and arrogant and in parts condescending. And what is that about having hair almost down to the waist. Nice if true but certainly not a big, selling point. Who wants that or even finds it particularly attractive. If my wife had something like that I would ask her to chop it down before it wraps around her neck while she's sleeping or something. LOL. Yet it's used as a vehicle that's supposed to put you a cut above those women with weaves? Don't think so. Makes you no better than them. Just different that's all. Some women like to wear makeup. Some like to wear push up bras. Or heels to make their legs stand out. Or weaves or extensions. Big deal. To each their own. But it doesn't come acroos very well when someone is like well if you take care of your hair you might be able to have hair almost to your waist just like me.
Agreed. A good part of the psot you replied to comes across as haughty and arrogant and in parts condescending. And what is that about having hair almost down to the waist. Nice if true but certainly not a big, selling point. Who wants that or even finds it particularly attractive. If my wife had something like that I would ask her to chop it down before it wraps around her neck while she's sleeping or something. LOL. Yet it's used as a vehicle that's supposed to put you a cut above those women with weaves? Don't think so. Makes you no better than them. Just different that's all. Some women like to wear makeup. Some like to wear push up bras. Or heels to make their legs stand out. Or weaves or extensions. Big deal. To each their own. But it doesn't come acroos very well when someone is like well if you take care of your hair you might be able to have hair almost to your waist just like me.
Now my question to you is: Why is this, what you focused on? It has nothing to do with the topic. Way off point. You are wasting good bandwidth.
You just wanted to see yourself post something, huh? Senseless to say the least.
Why is this, what you focused on? It has nothing to do with the topic. Way off point. You are wasting good bandwidth.
You just wanted to see yourself post something, huh? Senseless to say the least.
Now my question to you is: Why the H are you worried about it? I guess your attempt to police the board didn't use any bandwidth huh? The point is with the way that some women talk about men as being shallow this is one of the things she chose on which to take women to task. I'm a guy and could hardly care any less about who has a weave vs who doesn't.
Now my question to you is: Why the H are you worried about it? I guess your attempt to police the board didn't use any bandwidth huh? The point is with the way that some women talk about men as being shallow this is one of the things she chose on which to take women to task. I'm a guy and could hardly care any less about who has a weave vs who doesn't.
I've been accused of being gay because I dress nice and don't sleep with every woman that throws it at me.
Go figure.
Yeah, I was accused of that in college. Probably because I got my lesson and didn't drop out like the guys many AA women at my college openly yearned for. And I also noticed it was only a few AA guys they yearned for while many others were left alone. And these guys graduated.
Also, I don't flock to every "big-butt freak" and plant a seed. I haven't even planted a seed yet and I'm 24. I just think it's herd for a guy like me in Atlanta to date. Some say AA women are 70% single, but most I come across have a "boyfriend" of sorts. Maybe not when I first meet them, but pretty farther on. And somehow he ends up being unable to read, uneducated, or no good sometimes. But, in other cases he is good. But, the no good ones impregnate and jut keep going. My mom has a family friend who has a nephew only 2 years older than me and he has about 4 kids. He is not a degree holder and generally works warehouse level jobs if he works at all. I haven't even had a real relationship with 4 women yet.
One my my recent "tenants" hardly had dollars to their name at age 38 but somehow they were together and she had a grandkid somehow. I'm evicting them on the 29th of this month. They were not worth the trouble. They even tried to con me by calling their brother who was a "plumber" and never even checked much of anything beforce coming to the conclusion that the drain backup was my fault. He siad it couldn't be caused by tissue. And the occupants swore it wasn't caused by what they put down the drain. And the drainage worked fine while I had my plumber check the bathroom out. He wanted $55. Note that she called him. I didn't have $55 on me because she never paid the rent she promised the day before. You can't get blood from a turnip. She didn't have the money either. So, obviously she could not pay the rent. Anyways, the next day I had a septic tank company clean things out and he gave them a lecture on grease, tissue, and soap. Apparently, while they had the washer they stole from the previous landlord(who gave me a good recommendation, for some foolish reason), they put too much soap on clothes that were not dirty. They poured grease down the drain, and used way too much tissue.
I know this because these were the first people in this house in 3 years. I just had it renovated.
So, it was their fault. And I'm forcibly evicting them.
They also cost other people jobs by not paying. People they would know. Poor robbing the poor.
I don't hire on my payroll if I don't have the money in cash.
So, I get to see so many sorry couples close up. Somehow my tenants can get coupled in Atlanta no matter their physical appearance or income and I somehow cannot.
It is like the guys who lay around the house while "professional" women worked. . . .and while the women were away at work a lot of them went to play with other women. And AIDS got spread. Many wanted to blame Bisexual men or say AA men had a lower percentage because they did not get tested, but that was 5 years ago. That is too long to blame on Bisexual men alone.
Last edited by Java378; 06-21-2009 at 10:34 AM..
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