Educational cut off date (high school, move, kindergarten)

[kaday]

Actually many preschools now offer a transitional kindergarten or a young fives class. But you can send your child to 1st grade after a program like this if they meet the age requirement. Typically though it is for children who just miss the cutoff or are very close to it and parents want to give them a year to mature. My daughter has a late June birthday but had some minor speech delays. We decided to hold her back for that and other maturity issues. Academically she was fine. I consulted many people about this decision. Our local kindergraten discouraged me from holding her back but I stuck to my guns. Most professionals said that you will never get another opportunity once your child is enrolled in school to "catch up". At least for us I know that come time to head off to college, she will have had some additional time to grow up.

I am really happy we made this choice.

[pinetreelover]

My son attends a private school and with a January birthday, he was the third youngest boy in his first grade! January! That meant that all the Spring AND Summer boys were red-shirted. Strange!

He is now finishing 9th grade. The boys are all pretty much the same size, but several of them are getting their driver's licenses - in the 9th grade!

[RainyRainyDay]

Originally Posted by pinetreelover

My son attends a private school and with a January birthday, he was the third youngest boy in his first grade! January! That meant that all the Spring AND Summer boys were red-shirted. Strange!

That is so strange! My daughter has an early March birthday which meant that back in BC, where the cut-off date for starting school is December 31st, she was one of the oldest kids in her class. Since she was also bright, mature and tall, she seemed a bit too much ahead of the pack. So I liked it that when we moved to GA, due to the different cut-off date, she became middle-of-the-pack, age-wise. It helped. So this trend to holding back kids with spring and summer birthdays amazes me.

[lastminutemom]

One of the things that is out there is the theory that the older a student is when they take the SAT -- they better they will do. Overall, the private schools benefit from having older than average students.

Keep in mind that the most competitive private schools in ATL don't call kindergarten kindergarten, they call it pre-first. If your child doesn't enter with kindergarten skills, they won't enter at all, but be told to wait and reapply.

[kaday]

During my year of mulling over our decision to hold my daughter I ran into so many opinions either way. I find kindergarten (based on experiences with older children) to be so much more competitive and academic compared to my experience that really what does one extra year of childhood really matter? My older child is gifted and for her even the long day and hard core academics were grueling. She'd fall asleep on the bus ride home almost daily. They have years and years of tough schooling ahead of them.

I just don't see why some parents are so opposed to this. If their child is on the edge maturity wise or extremely young for the class it can only benefit them in the long run to sit it out a year. It is not about SAT scores at all. Just my opinion.

[RainyRainyDay]

Originally Posted by kaday

I just don't see why some parents are so opposed to this. If their child is on the edge maturity wise or extremely young for the class it can only benefit them in the long run to sit it out a year. It is not about SAT scores at all. Just my opinion.

I personally am opposed to "one size fits all" thinking, and disagree equally with the "everyone is ready at five" and "everyone born in spring or summer should be held back" dogmas.

I am also privileged to have a very capable child, which gives me a skewed vantage point, perhaps. Nonetheless, I'm gonna state my piece . Some of this stuff about private schools wanting older students so they'll test better, and conversely, parents of pre-schoolers knocking themselves out to groom their kids to meet "gifted" criteria, really puts me off. Isn't education supposed to be about doing what's best for the kids? As in helping the kids we've actually got to be the best people they can be, not forcing them to fit some frame we have in mind.

[FunnyMomof2]

I have a son who will be 6 this week. He will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. He attended preschool 2 mornings a week when he was 2. 3 mornings a week when he was 3 and 5 mornings a week when he was 4. He was almost the youngest in his class of 16 every year. It was so hard to start the school year and the first month or two of school we were invited to birthday parties of kids turning 4 (in the 3's) and 5 (in PK). This is a HUGE difference for boys. Most kids were 6 - 8 months older than our son. His self-esteem seemed to hurt more b/c other kids would say "you write like a baby" or "your coloring is scribble scrabble." Of course, we kept encouraging him. Our son is very shy, so we did chose to not send him on to Kindergarten. He has been in a Young 5 program this year. He is now the oldest in his class. I am SO thankful we did this. He has so much more confidence. He writes so well, and he is reading! I think he will be ahead of the game in Kindergarten. I do worry now how he will do with him being one of the older ones, but I don't regret our decision at all.

I do think the ages and "rules" have changed from when I was a child. Much more is expected of children in K now... they say K is the new 1st grade. Also- our K is from 8am - 3pm. I know that is hard on a lot of children who have just turned 5 - just from what friends have told me. My friend's son is a March birthday and he is one of the youngest in the class - they said it has been a challenge.

You have to do what is best for your situation and family.

Good luck.

[kaday]

I think it really depends on the child. Five years ago I would have taken offense to a pre school teacher recommending I hold my daughter back. Now I am truly grateful for the insight.

I used to be really pro making sure my kids got into the best science camp, learned a second language and all that stuff living in upper middle class surburbia makes you think you should be doing for your kids. After a while you see how all of that makes your kids really miserable and after all they just want to build a pillow fort with their sister or brother. I am all about getting the best education for my kids but I am also now about making sure they have a great childhood. Even if that means they have to take a breather from chess club in 2nd grade.

[globalnomad]

As parents, one of the best decisions we ever made was keeping our daughter back a year because of her late birthday.

She's the kind of kid who needs to be first in the pack rather than last.

Instead of cluelessly following what the older kids do, she's the leader.

Instead of leaving home and starting college when she's 17, she'll be 18.

Another year to mature has paid many dividends in her case, but every child is different.

At the time we made our decision, we were annoyed about paying for another year of preschool for our daughter, but it was money well spent.

[JennySells]

I have known a lot of people that held their boys back into entering school and kept them another year in preschool - they felt they would be more mature and not fall behind if they waited another year.