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I've enjoyed reading your posts as you are very witty, but there's one statement that raised a bit of a red flag from my point-of-view: "We don't give a flip where the Gay and Lesbian Center is."
(and the rest of Z's post)
Z
Hi Z,
Thanks for thinking me witty; clearly, however, my wit needs work as it has motivated you to preach to the choir, as it were. That plus I personally don't need a hug, a welcoming smile or an opportunity to bond with anyone based on their sexual preferences matching mine---nor am I particularly compelled to give out hugs, smiles or bonding behavior, but I encourage people who do it well to keep doing it. It's a very important contribution.
Nevertheless, I can see, from what I gather is your POV, how my comment might have seemed a bit off-putting. But really, Z, take off your Birkenstocks and run your toes through my screamingly thick upgraded carpet, lose a couple of those dresses, and let the warm aura of your proletarian lesbian (I think) brain see me for the shallow, banal and hopelessly car-fund lesbian that I am. (Car fund?--LOL, dykes like me don't have car funds, we just go out after dinner and drive the new sled home to our 3-car garage and park it peacefully, and if I may say so, stunningly appropriately next to the Mercedes and the Jaguar and hope that Championship Brilliant Blue color doesn't clash too awfully much with the palomino-colored, acid-washed garage floor). Um, but I digress.
Z, all kidding aside (G-d let her/him know I'm kidding!), it is not my style to be the kind of political activist you describe. I am the political activist that you didn't describe.
My partner and I moved into a hugely conservative Republican area where there is no Gay and Lesbian Center---that's our contribution to gay activism. We are really nice people, and when I came out at work in my uber-rich, upscale company, that was my political activism. When I write out a check to HRC, Lambda Defense and the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, what I care about is that I get the address right so the check doesn't go astray---that's my political activisim, although it might just be a control freak disorder complicated by an overwhelming need to send money to the right place); at any rate, I certainly don't need to Mapquest the directions because I'm not going to visit any time soon. So? What do you care?
As for partnered gay and lesbian couples walling themselves off from the rest of the gay community, to the degree that it exists, maybe it's because they don't want to be around in-your-face political activists who scold people who aren't activists in the exact same way; maybe they don't appreciate the predatory sexual behavior that makes them or their partner fair game for every unattached gay or lesbian with less sense of ethics and boundaries than my granite countertops, or maybe, they are gays and lesbians with kids who need to be around other people with kids.
I just met someone on this board whose parents are very politically active in PFLAG, etc, and I think that is an exciting, fabulous and genuinely authentic kind of political activisim---for them, and him. When I was in London about eight years ago during Pride, I marched with a friend who led the gay doctors, dentists and medical group. It was a very fulfilling and memorable experience for me. I did it because I was there during Pride; I didn't purposefuly go during Pride to do it. See what I mean? I'm not your kind of activist. You go visit the Gay and Lesbian Centers and hand out those hugs and smiles, and I'll be a good citizen in my homophobic community, set the example as I mill around with representatives from those companies that spend millions to deny us and other minorities our rights, and I'll keep sending those checks to HRC and Lambda Defense Fund and the Gay and Lesbian Center. Let's each do what we do best, because that, I think, is the very best use of our political activisim.
Thank you for feeling good enough about my post to offer yours.
T
Last edited by desktopdriver; 12-07-2006 at 04:42 PM..
Reason: blah blah blah
Very funny post! Quit your day job and become a writer. I do apologzie. I guess I must have had an Alzheimer's moment.
I should have known that California lesbians don't need a Gay and Lesbian Center for bonding, a welcoming smile, and a hug, when they have the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament. No wonder California lesbians say: "Flip a Gay and Lesbian Center."
Golf periodicals must be high on your priority list. I would imagine your coffee table is littered with them. LOL! LOL! I can truthfully say that POPULAR MECHANICS is high on my priority list. Sure! Sure! Everyone keeps giving me an ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST gift-subscription. That's not what I want at all. I really want to learn more about Yugo transmission jobs. For some strange reason, my Yugo keeps breaking down. Strange! You're so lucky to own a Jag. Jags are known for not breaking down.
I once shot a hole-in-one. Seriously, when I was 18- years-old. That is the the truth.
Here's a made up story. Unfortuantely, it wasn't at the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament. I took a cruise with R Family Vacations, and the cruise ship had a minature golf course. This particular minature golf course was a toughie, and it must have been designed by Arnold Palmer. After the amazing hole-in-one, Rosie congratulated me, and even gave me a big bear hug. Kelli was there, too. and another Kelly--Kelly Ripa. Kelly Ripa and Rosie were giving each other dirty looks even then, and this whole cat fight has just turned rather bitter and nasty.
BTW, I'm a gay man. I guess the name, Zelia, might confuse you.
The rainbow flag signifies diversity, and that diversity certainly exists within the gay community. We all know there's a broad range of gay folks: in-your-face activists, non-materialistic gays, materialistic gays, "out" gays, closet gays, liberal gays, and even ultra-conservative gays.
You have every right to live your life as you wish. However, I must admit, though, that one part of me is rather sad when I hear you say that you are not compelled to give out hugs, smiles or bonding behavior. With so much sadness and pain in the world, everyone needs a welcoming smile and hug once in a while. There's a lot of people out there who are hurting, and just a smile would brighten up their day. Sometimes, small things such as a smile make a huge difference in one's life.
I think it's wonderful that you have found a compatible companion. Finding a compatible companion is difficult for many of us--gay and straight. Too many times love is seemingly fleeting, and far from permanent. Love can be heaven, but it also can be a living hell.
I am not an in-your-face type of gay activist. However, as I have aged I have become more vocal about prejudice and injustice. When one exits this world, one should be able to say to himself/herself: "I WAS ABLE TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN SOME MEANINGFUL WAY." Exiting the world and saying, "I HAD DONALD TRUMP TASTE IN CARPETING, CARS, AND GRANITE COUNTERTOPS" would be rather sad.
Naturally, some of us are more capable of making a difference in the world than others. For some people, just a welcoming smile, or a hug, would be quite enough.
I commend you for being charitable to the HRC and the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. Hopefully, the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament, too.
I'm in the market for golf clubs, and shag carpeting. Advice would be most certainly appreciated. Is shag carpeting still in style? I really don't know, because I never read ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST. My shag carpeting is in sad shape. All that oil and grease from working on my Yugo certainly didn't help matters.
Atlanta is a wonderful city. I am sure you would like it here.
Very funny post! Quit your day job and become a writer. I do apologzie. I guess I must have had an Alzheimer's moment.
and the rest of Z's post.
Z
My dear Zelda,
LOL, no Zelia, it wasn't your name that made me think you a lesbian, it was that little red flag waving daintily in the warm Georgia breeze. Reminded me of a little Gardenia I used to know.
Let us be perfectly clear from the outset: Some Southern California lesbians do not "litter" their coffee tables with anything. While one might object to an abundance of self-portraiture on virtually every free blank wall space, there is not, and cannot be, any littering.
Secondly, as it happens, your divination that I play golf was accurate in the sense that my father taught me when I was seven years old, and only this guy named Arthur who attacks my joints with alarming frequency, keeps me from the beloved game with anything approximating regularity---perhaps you have at least a passing familiarity with the concept of regularity, if not a daily one.
And this will no doubt surprise you, oh zealous one, but I positively loathe the Dinah Shore Classic as the village is completely overrun with lots of heavier than thou L-Words in white with a plethora of terrycloth visors that say things like "I got my hole in one" and a dearth of anything approximating style. I simply cannot go into the haircuts because the majority might be like...well, you know.
I find The Donald repulsive and cannot fathom why you would think I would like anyone who would call Martha such names. He's a jealous witch, and it has to do with, you guessed it, hair.
And I never said "Flip a Gay and Lesbian Center," and you know it. I said: I don't give a flip where the Gay and Lesbian Center is. And don't expend your dwindling energy by feeling sad for me. Feel sad for the poor dopes who are going to leave the Gay and Lesbian Center mumbling something about hugs and kisses when they could have had a ride in your Yugo instead. Oopsie, I forgot, your Yugo is broken. I understand what you say about Jaguars, but even you have to admit that it's at least better for the broken car when the manufacturer is still in business. Yugo. LOL. How dare you compare your $4000 extinct piece of dinosaur **** to my $85,000 piece of ****. The nerve!
Seriously Z, you surely cannot think me as superficial and distant as you characterize. As for my good fortune in finding what you refer to as my companion, I am beyond lucky, and clearly undeserving, vapid lesbian that I am, to have finally, after so many years of looking, and losing, found someone who is my partner in all things, who is, in fact, the very soul of my life. This good fortune did not come easily.
But if you really think that I don't know how many people out there are hurting and could use a smile, a hug, a warm interaction, then I have failed in my desire to entertain you with the hopes that within that entertainment you would see, and sense, my enlightenment about all the things my gay brothers and sisters must endure and how hard it is.
Still, my failure won't keep me from suggesting what should be obvious to even the most casual observer: your would be humorous interpretation of my life is not only inaccurate as to the facts, it is irrelevant as to the essence.
And btw, shag was back in, briefly, but, call me crazy, I have a feeling you missed it! ;-)
Dadgummit (old Texas word), I feel left out of this non-bonding going on. :-) I like both (Desktop and Zelia) of your posts and styles in posting!
But you're NOT being left out! We're just giving one another (me and Zelda) a hard time, but I think we both know pretty much how the cow ate the cabbage, as they say in Illinois.
I will admit, however, that I worry a bit about Z telling me made up stories and suggesting I'd like Georgia...hmmm. Tell you what---Georgia's loss might be Austin's gain! Seriously...still looking, still thinking about things. Yes, btw, I had heard that Decatur might be interesting for us. Like I said, I feel a good road trip coming on. ::fanning self:: what to drive, what to drive.
Thanks for keeping this thread alive. Having made the transition--I'm yet to move my family and our belongings out here just yet--I'm in a better position to determine the honest truth that I first asked about.
What I've learned thus far, is what I initially presumed: that metro Atlanta is generally a segregated society. Although there's nothing encouraging about that, it's not much different than Denver or Kansas City or Milwaukee or Seattle. Most everybody drives together on the same highways; we occupy the same office buildings and warehouses; and generally shop at the same strip malls. Otherwise, most White Atlantans head north for home, school, church while most Black Atlantans head south for same. The small percentage of folks who aren't Black or White (or who actually want to be integrated) head northeast.
Personally, I find myself somewhat disappointed with the Black community to the extent that we have failed to impose our will; we have given in to the comforts of voluntary segregation, and failed to learn that such living arrangements always work to our detriment. The White community--not all, but certainly for the most part, have always desired this kind of arrangement. Those of us who choose to resist voluntary segregation are small in number, but we are growing and we appear to be unwilling to give up or give in. That's encouraging enough for me to stay here.
Although I think our segregation began well before the 1906 riots, it certainly does play a significant role in segregation today.
Again, I have to focus a little more blame toward my own community for letting this continue. Sure, there was a time when we couldn't do much about it. But the last 15 - 20 years presented prime opportunities to say "no--we're not going to take the easy way out and give in to voluntary segregation". The White community wasn't going to do the right thing; we had the opportunity to show leadership and do the right thing, but we went along to get along.
Segregation has existed on a continuum for over 140 years. But what's ironic--and frankly, quite arrogant--is how many within the White community see fit to blame Blacks for it. They're right--but not in the way that they think.
Although I think our segregation began well before the 1906 riots, it certainly does play a significant role in segregation today.
Again, I have to focus a little more blame toward my own community for letting this continue. Sure, there was a time when we couldn't do much about it. But the last 15 - 20 years presented prime opportunities to say "no--we're not going to take the easy way out and give in to voluntary segregation". The White community wasn't going to do the right thing; we had the opportunity to show leadership and do the right thing, but we went along to get along.
Segregation has existed on a continuum for over 140 years. But what's ironic--and frankly, quite arrogant--is how many within the White community see fit to blame Blacks for it. They're right--but not in the way that they think.
I think I see where you are coming from...I also think some of the voluntary segregation is just simply b/c some people want to be around ppl who look like them--especially once they have kids....(don't shoot me)
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Thoughts
