California attitude: Is it like this in the entire state? (San Diego: to buy, cost of)

[pgrdr]

Originally Posted by expatCA

Really what you are saying about Seattle and the other areasd applies to virtually every place in the US.

I grew up in SoCal, OC primarily, and it used to be very nice, open, friendly and .... not crowded. Now it is not that way. Growth is god for some and bad for others and when the growth is from outside the immediate area, it changes things drastically.On the other ide when growth is held back, the area falls apart. Just look at what happened to Lake Elsinore, CA (My wife was born and raised there) when the old city leaders tried to keep growth from happening. The growth occurred outside the city limits and the old city went down hill.

For small places a bit of growth is good ... at least for a while. But once it passes a tipping point, it isn't.

The only constant is ... change.

There is a repeating refrain when it comes to places that have experienced significant growth and change in the population.

Social evolution marches on. (<:

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by pgrdr

There is a repeating refrain when it comes to places that have experienced significant growth and change in the population.

Social evolution marches on. (<:

It might be social devolution.

Things seem to get worse not better.

[mtnbkr5]

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

A matter of fact response? Seriously? That would be rude in New Jersey.

[marcopolo666]

Originally Posted by theblob

We recently moved to California and are astounded by the attitudes we’ve encountered. We’d like to find a place in the state that is different. But if it is like this in all of the state, we’ll be moving on. Hope you can help us find an un-California attitude in California. Here’s our experience:

In San Diego county we went to an open house and as we were looking out the living room window at the interstate, the haze and the neighbor’s house, the owner came to us and said “Do you know what you’re looking at?” No hello, or my name is....
He obviously thought he had something much more wonderful than he did. Conceited.

We rented a house in San Diego county and asked the owner if we should be getting standard cable channels like ESPN. She said “I don’t know. I don’t watch ESPN.” Clearly if it didn’t matter to her, why would it matter to anyone else. A very self-absorbed person.

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

We found that most people don’t smile or laugh and engaging them in a conversation is difficult. We find these people not only rude, self-absorbed, and arrogant, but shallow and devoid of personality. We sometimes feel that we can reach out and tip them over because they must be made of cardboard with no substance behind them.

We find that people don’t joke around and understand sarcasm. We give it and take it, and we find this fun. Californians look at us with blank stares when we do this. We encountered a transplant from Brooklyn (no, we don’t want to go there) who told us he has the same experiences. He warned us that Californians “don’t get the joke.” It’s true. So far we would find it hard to make friends in any of the places we’ve been.

We are open to trying different places in California, but if the whole state is like this, we’re gone. Suggestions on other places to try would be appreciated.

If you aren't happy, leave - maybe you'll find a place that better jibes with what you want. If you are happy, stay. Why are you trying to find validation for your emotions on an internet forum?

[marcopolo666]

Oh NO!!!!! I am so embarrassed - I didn't notice that the OP has exactly ONE post on city-data, the one starting this thread, posted back in APRIL. OP hasn't even posted anything on his own thread in almost 3 months!

{hangs head in shame}

I got tricked.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by mtnbkr5

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

A matter of fact response? Seriously? That would be rude in New Jersey.

And you expected a normal, polite response from someone stealing your water.....why? You do realize that's not a normal person, right? Or did you think maybe she was a normal, reasonable person who just happened to get your hose mixed up with hers?

[marcopolo666]

You realize the OP is 'the big T', don't you?

[Jay100]

Originally Posted by theblob

We recently moved to California and are astounded by the attitudes we’ve encountered. We’d like to find a place in the state that is different. But if it is like this in all of the state, we’ll be moving on. Hope you can help us find an un-California attitude in California. Here’s our experience:

In San Diego county we went to an open house and as we were looking out the living room window at the interstate, the haze and the neighbor’s house, the owner came to us and said “Do you know what you’re looking at?” No hello, or my name is....
He obviously thought he had something much more wonderful than he did. Conceited.

We rented a house in San Diego county and asked the owner if we should be getting standard cable channels like ESPN. She said “I don’t know. I don’t watch ESPN.” Clearly if it didn’t matter to her, why would it matter to anyone else. A very self-absorbed person.

While renting a place in Palm Desert, a neighbor decided to help herself to the outdoor hose of our rental. When we checked what was going on she said, “Do you have something to say to me?” No hello or explanation. We consider this very rude.

We found that most people don’t smile or laugh and engaging them in a conversation is difficult. We find these people not only rude, self-absorbed, and arrogant, but shallow and devoid of personality. We sometimes feel that we can reach out and tip them over because they must be made of cardboard with no substance behind them.

We find that people don’t joke around and understand sarcasm. We give it and take it, and we find this fun. Californians look at us with blank stares when we do this. We encountered a transplant from Brooklyn (no, we don’t want to go there) who told us he has the same experiences. He warned us that Californians “don’t get the joke.” It’s true. So far we would find it hard to make friends in any of the places we’ve been.

We are open to trying different places in California, but if the whole state is like this, we’re gone. Suggestions on other places to try would be appreciated.

Guess you didn't get the memo. There are millions of foreigners/immigrants in CA who all have different attitudes and outlooks. A general rule is to just take people as they come. Personally, I rarely say hi to people that I don't know. There are too many people here and I'd never get anything done. Second, I don't know if you're a nut, psycho, stalker, or scammer/criminal or whatever--you could be, I don't know and don't want to find out. So, that's why I would not say hi to you or just anybody. If I know you, yes, it's different, you will get the eye contact, smiles, waves, and hugs.

[breeze823]

no offense but you seem a little "self absorbed" that people don't think just like you and your examples were a little silly. i'm a california native (san diego) and now live in va. i think californians are some of the nicest people out there. we're not all judgy like people i have met since leaving...i love where i live now, in sw virginia, but honestly, i have met some of the most pretentious people ever out here...maybe you should move on...

[NOLA101]

Originally Posted by theblob

We find that people don’t joke around and understand sarcasm. We give it and take it, and we find this fun. Californians look at us with blank stares when we do this. We encountered a transplant from Brooklyn (no, we don’t want to go there) who told us he has the same experiences. He warned us that Californians “don’t get the joke.” It’s true. So far we would find it hard to make friends in any of the places we’ve been.

I will agree with this part. My experience in SoCal was generally positive, but, yeah, I noticed that locals don't get sarcasm and don't appreciate gentle ribbing.

In NYC this is practically required conversational etiquette, but in LA/OC I would occasionally get blank stares.