Why's the dating scene in Southern California so bad? (San Diego: live, legally)

[majoun]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Wow! It's amazing that any of our husbands tought we were "worthy" and married us!

Because they knew they could always get something on the side if able to? As Groucho Marx said, "a man's loyalty to his wife is governed by the size of his pocketbook."

The tendency for women to be attracted to married men is NOT unique to Los Angeles or Southern California. However like many things in Southern California and Los Angeles in particular it's just more intensified there. It's easier for a man to find a woman if he already has one, just like it's easier to find a job if you already have one.

It also helps for a man, in addition to having looks, money, and/or "excitement", to have a UK or Irish accent. Ironically, the least "Anglo" city in the US is one of the most Anglophile cities in the US when it comes to what makes a man attractive to a woman. Somehow they think it makes a man seem more worldly and sophisticated (although Britons would probably laugh their arses off at how L.A. women would even interpret a Glasgow accent as "cultured" and "sophisticated"!)

As I pointed out, there are exceptions.

Obviously your husband found something about you attractive. I do not know the state of your marriage so I will not comment on it.

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by majoun

Because they knew they could always get something on the side if able to? As Groucho Marx said, "a man's loyalty to his wife is governed by the size of his pocketbook."

The tendency for women to be attracted to married men is NOT unique to Los Angeles or Southern California. However like many things in Southern California and Los Angeles in particular it's just more intensified there. It's easier for a man to find a woman if he already has one, just like it's easier to find a job if you already have one.

It also helps for a man, in addition to having looks, money, and/or "excitement", to have a UK or Irish accent. Ironically, the least "Anglo" city in the US is one of the most Anglophile cities in the US when it comes to what makes a man attractive to a woman. Somehow they think it makes a man seem more worldly and sophisticated (although Britons would probably laugh their arses off at how L.A. women would even interpret a Glasgow accent as "cultured" and "sophisticated"!)

As I pointed out, there are exceptions.

Obviously your husband found something about you attractive. I do not know the state of your marriage so I will not comment on it.

You're obviously a genius.

[Las Vegas Mommy]

Not being from Southern California myself, homegrown Northern Cali girl!
First you have to consider a few things before dating a high maintenace woman.
Can you afford her? She does not come cheap and spends alot of her time and
money on her apperance. If she looks fabulous and you wanna date her, you better
be able to afford to keep up on her maintenace fees. Why would she date someone who
is broke? It sure wasnt her natural beauty and unmanicured nails and hair that caught your
eye;-) Southern Cali is well known for skinny mini hot chicks, as well as older men with money looking grab one!
Think of So Cal woman as cars!
you wanna nice reliable Pinto...maintenace is very cheap...keeps for a long time
you wanna Bently! not so cheap..they cost alot more to make and maintain, but you look gewd riding em! When they get old, you can just trade them in.....lol
NOTE: not all high maintenace So Cal women can be put into this category. Some have invested just as much into their education as they have their appearance. My hats off to the very few that have! Sexy + educated = rare and if you find one of these, you're damn lucky.

[Snort]

you wanna nice reliable Pinto...maintenace is very cheap...keeps for a long time

The problem with the Pinto though is that if you tap it in the rear, it explodes.

[Las Vegas Mommy]

lmao!

[kbat]

Believe it or not, there are born-and-bred SoCal girls (hot ones, even) who take considerations other than money into account when looking for a man. The guy I ended up marrying didn't have a penny to his name. At the time, I made more than he did, which wasn't saying much. On one memorable occasion I can remember both of us rummaging through the couch cushions for loose change. :lol But he was good-natured, smart, funny and respectful, and I'd have done myself a disservice if I'd cast him aside because he didn't drive a Porsche. I'd met men with money who were putzes and I refused to date them. Perhaps I was an anomaly... but I doubt this.

Here in South Dakota, no one drives Porsches or has millions socked away in Swiss bank accounts, so it's a moot point. If you're a jerk, you'll be lonely.

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by Naomi Manischewitz

25F in LA here. It is bad for me too. I seem to find men expect a woman to be extremely hot, look like a trophy wife, but isn't a trophy wife.

I have gone through the "don't look for someone and then you will find someone" stage (which is BS by the way), and stages where I make an effort to meet men (joining sports, singles events, online, etc).

The men I have BRIEFLY dated were completely flaky and made me feel as if they kept me around until a better option came. On top of it, men seemed to have overly enflated egos. Look confidence is good, but when you really think you are G-D's gift, it's beyond confidence.

Just last week I met a guy offline for a first date. It went well and he called me up for a second date for today right away (impressive). He ended up canceling on me Friday night (the night before our date), saying he is moody and needs to go to Bakersfield to do his taxes (eh he didn't know this before me??).

That's my experience. The men here are superficial, have huge egos, and are flaky. I am moving and hoping a change in location does me good dating wise.

Last month at a singles event I met my now friend. She is 26 and just moved from NYC. She was saying how she has had the same problems dating here. We agreed that the men here are very 1 dimensional and there aren't really that many types of men here. She said in NYC there was such a range of men and everyone was completely different.

I think San Diego is actually better than LA in this regard....LA is also an ambitious place,er,not east coast ambitious,but men and women,come to LA to see,be seen and hopefully get paid to do just that....legally,of course.
I know families in LA,too...so I know it varies,but the singles scene there is so plastic and kinda disembodied,almost. the options and expectations are all over the board.....SD is a little more down to earth-or you have the option for being down to earth in SD,at least. Even given it's so cal superficial thing.

[jackie100]

I consider myself very attractive (size 00), beautiful face etc. When I post pics my pics on Hotornot my average score is 9-10. When I post anonymously on an "Age Guessing Website" the average guess for me is 21 (with over 60 guesses), even though I am 31!

No one can date me because I'm not interested in men! I don't want to ever get married or have kids (sorry but I don't like children whatsoever). I just like doing my own thing and being alone. So no matter WHO approaches me, whether you are rich or poor, good looking or downright ugly, I will NOT be interested because I am not interested in dating anyone (for fun), casual dating, a relationship or marriage. I am just a very solitary person!

Contrary to popular belief not all women need a man and not all women want to get married. I am NOT interested in women btw so don't even go there (I actually don't get along with most women, they are very competitive and jealous etc). I just LIKE being alone and I mean completely alone (not even dating).

[Las Vegas Mommy]

So Jackie100, if I understand this right- you dont like men, small children or even your own gender. You are solitary and you use websites to post your picture, so you can get an ego boost from people who think you are hot?

you dont see anything wrong with this picture? So so so sad!

[Fontucky]

Originally Posted by jackie100

I just LIKE being alone and I mean completely alone (not even dating).

Well, you're not completely alone... you have us.