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Sweepea; I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I hope your moms passing was as peaceful as it could be. Your beloved mom is no longer in pain & is now able to enjoy the birds; butterflies & flowers as well as relative & friends passed that were waiting for her. Her body has been healed; free from the cancer.
Thank you, everyone. Who would think that posting on a web forum could bring about such connection and warmth, but here it is. I'm very grateful.
There is so much to write about the last few days or few weeks, the various ups and downs and the sleeping with telephones beside me at night...the many hours spent with Mom...maybe I'll be able to get to that and share some with you. I'm exhausted and feeling empty and very strange right now. I cried so much in the months before she died, and now I can't. Truthfully the last few days all I wanted for her was relief.
I'm happy that all of my children were here last week and got to spend lots of time with their grandma and say their goodbyes. I think among all of us, none of us left anything unsaid. On her last night (Sunday night) I knew I would not see her again, and I told her I'd miss her very much. I said that it was really and truly okay to rest now. That was hard. She passed at about 4 a.m.
We are going to use part of our inheritance as a donation to pancreatic cancer research. What a voracious monster this disease is. I only wish I could prevent anyone else and their families from going through what we did.
Thank you, everyone. Who would think that posting on a web forum could bring about such connection and warmth, but here it is. I'm very grateful.
There is so much to write about the last few days or few weeks, the various ups and downs and the sleeping with telephones beside me at night...the many hours spent with Mom...maybe I'll be able to get to that and share some with you. I'm exhausted and feeling empty and very strange right now. I cried so much in the months before she died, and now I can't. Truthfully the last few days all I wanted for her was relief.
I'm happy that all of my children were here last week and got to spend lots of time with their grandma and say their goodbyes. I think among all of us, none of us left anything unsaid. On her last night (Sunday night) I knew I would not see her again, and I told her I'd miss her very much. I said that it was really and truly okay to rest now. That was hard. She passed at about 4 a.m.
We are going to use part of our inheritance as a donation to pancreatic cancer research. What a voracious monster this disease is. I only wish I could prevent anyone else and their families from going through what we did.
What you're experiencing with crying is normal. I felt the same way with my dad; relieved that his suffering was not longer. I was in a daze at the funeral home; the tears hit me during the viewing because of a few speeches by his rescue squad friends. When we got home; I didn't have time to cry because my FIL was admitted with what turned out to be a rare brain cancer; he passed 6 weeks later. My birthday 4 weeks after losing my dad was rough; I could not stop crying; then it was back into the daze. I think it was 6 months before it really hit me & when it did; it was more so due to rage & how unfair it is that he worked his whole life; didn't enjoy retirement because he was sick; then diagnosed terminal. Such a cruel world.
You should save a copy of the post. Last year; I was reading mine from when my dad 1st got sick; there's so much I don't remember. You should also type something up whether an email or in Word while everything is still fresh.
After we lost our dad's; we donated to Stand Up 2 Cancer. We like the way the money is put towards finding cures. One grant is for PC. Patrick Swayze also has a foundation. Best suggestion I have is to make sure that where you donate uses the donations the way you intend it to be used. There are some that pay more money to staff then finding a cure.
~Hugs
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