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Seems she is getting closer and closer to assisted living. But then maybe it is all attention seeking activity but that would require a thought out process.
I also cannot fathom where things go unless she "sees" them but not what they are and thinks they are not supposed to be there (like on the floor) and just throws them out. It takes a rational thinking mind to go to the next step of "where are they supposed to go?" Not even mean or thinking, just doing automatically. Again, closer and closer to assisted living.
My mom has not had a single actual responsibility in years. Not a one. And now, she doesn't read or watch TV. So she is completely fixated on this cat of hers. How does that play into the shower rings or keyboard, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
I found no evidence on the shower curtain of a cat trying to "climb" the shower curtain, but something or someone pulled it down, and then after the first time it was pulled down, or fell down (would have to be messed with in order for it to fall down, but then my mom "messes with stuff" all the time), I did find a few shower rings strewn around the apartment - the cat was playing with them. Hmm...suspicions.
Then yesterday I picked up a clue about the keyboard. I was griping about it - "Where on earth could a KEYBOARD go?" - and my mom said, "I even wondered if MAYBE I HAD BEEN WORRIED ABOUT THE CAT WALKING ON IT and moved it somewhere..." In other words, that's exactly what happened and for all I know one of these days I will find the missing keyboard someplace bizarre like stuffed between her mattress and box springs.
What does your mother think will happen if she sleeps in the bed? Is she afraid of lying down for some reason?
Will she again hide the keyboard from her cat?
I have no idea why my mother won't sleep in the bed. When I ask her I get no answer - she gives me her pat answer for anything that she inherently knows doesn't make any sense: "I have my reasons. You can't boss me."
If the keyboard goes missing again she will just have to do without.
That must be so frustrating. Sorry you have to deal with it.
Oh, it's frustrating all right.
It's the mental and emotional frustration as well as the actual physical tasks and time involved that are frustrating.
I mean, what I've had to do is incorporate another whole life and it's maintenance into my own life. It's like finding out you're pregnant when you didn't want to be, and then having a baby - except the baby isn't a cute little innocent seven pounds. And the baby doesn't reward you with love and with ongoing achievements and progress - in fact, it's the opposite, things get WORSE.
I honestly do not know one person who knows her more than casually and yet likes my mom. I know people who care about her - I'm one of them - but she's just not a warm, affectionate or HONEST person. Even at her best, she was argumentative and manipulative and sly and didn't respect personal boundaries, and now...well, it's like others have said before - many people just become and exaggerated version of themselves as they age.
So apparently I'm going to be a loud old lady with OCD tendencies and I'll probably end up being the president of the HOA at the Senior Living Facility (and griping about the responsibilities the entire time) and I'll be singing karaoke at the senior center on Thursday nights...and my kids will be saying, "MOM - quit shopping on Amazon!!!!!!!!! Where are you putting all that stuff?????"
I have no idea why my mother won't sleep in the bed. When I ask her I get no answer - she gives me her pat answer for anything that she inherently knows doesn't make any sense: "I have my reasons. You can't boss me."
If the keyboard goes missing again she will just have to do without.
My grandmother (who did not have dementia) also would not sleep in her bed. She had a lovely full or queen-sized bed in her apartment, and she would change the sheets and blankets regularly. But she slept on the couch every night. She did lay down, at least! She lived by herself and I often wonder if she felt vulnerable "going to bed" and instead, slept on the couch so she could jump up in an instant in case of an intruder or... something.
My grandmother (who did not have dementia) also would not sleep in her bed. She had a lovely full or queen-sized bed in her apartment, and she would change the sheets and blankets regularly. But she slept on the couch every night. She did lay down, at least! She lived by herself and I often wonder if she felt vulnerable "going to bed" and instead, slept on the couch so she could jump up in an instant in case of an intruder or... something.
Who knows?
I know that my mother is very easily confused by time and dates. I think she "stays dressed." I know she doesn't shower that often, and I believe when she does, she gets out and gets dressed again. She lives in mortal fear that she will miss the bus to church or to therapy. It wouldn't matter if I promised to call her to remind her - she doesn't believe anyone else. She doesn't even believe her "talking watch" that tells her the time and date! If she doesn't agree with what it says, she's convinced it needs a new battery (at least once a week).
When she was living at home with my dad, she would get dressed and ready to catch the bus to therapy or whatever, HOURS in advance. And sit by the window in a hard chair watching for the bus. It wouldn't matter that they would come and ring the doorbell to pick her up. It wouldn't matter that my dad would tell her "They will be here FOUR HOURS FROM NOW."
My grandmother (who did not have dementia) also would not sleep in her bed. She had a lovely full or queen-sized bed in her apartment, and she would change the sheets and blankets regularly. But she slept on the couch every night. She did lay down, at least! She lived by herself and I often wonder if she felt vulnerable "going to bed" and instead, slept on the couch so she could jump up in an instant in case of an intruder or... something.
My mom (who does have dementia) does this same thing, although my sibling lives with her. She started sleeping in the living room after my dad died - she said she had a fear of closed in spaces after she had a dizzy spell in her bedroom (and I think she was also afraid of intruders). She now has her bed IN the living room but I think she still sleeps on the couch.
A few times she has stayed with me after my dad died. She tried sleeping in my guest room but that only lasted one night. To the living room couch she went after that. I did not like having my mom sleep in my living room.
I have no idea why my mother won't sleep in the bed.
How about a daybed in the living room instead of a couch? She may not be lying down because the couch doesn't have enough room to be comfortable, or isn't soft enough, etc.
How about a daybed in the living room instead of a couch? She may not be lying down because the couch doesn't have enough room to be comfortable, or isn't soft enough, etc.
No way would she go for that. She just picked out and bought that sofa (which really is beautiful but I'm sure it won't stay that way since she has ruined several sofas with nail polish and other stains), just a few weeks ago, and it cost $1600.
My mom is a HOT MESS in her bathroom and closet and even her kitchen, but she is extremely picky about her living room area - she keeps it neat and she loves that sofa to pieces.
Good idea though. It may come to that if her dementia gets worse. Right now it's mild.
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