Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This just clicked...could the smell have to do with the cat?
No but thanks for considering it. She had this odor about her before she got the cat. And in spite of her haphazard housekeeping and personal hygiene, she is fastidious about the cat's litter box and care in general. In fact, she is obsessed with the cat and her health and well being, which beats the alternative I guess.
No but thanks for considering it. She had this odor about her before she got the cat. And in spite of her haphazard housekeeping and personal hygiene, she is fastidious about the cat's litter box and care in general. In fact, she is obsessed with the cat and her health and well being, which beats the alternative I guess.
Speaking of the cat, who is taking care of her daily needs while your Mom is on a trip with you?
Well, my mom is having a VERY difficult time with dates and times. This in spite of having a HUGE clock in her room, and a "talking watch." Thing is, she has to remember to listen to the watch or look at the clock. And then she has to BELIEVE that they're right. Sometimes she will listen to her watch and then be convinced that it's set wrong. Sigh.
Apparently looking outside to see if it's light or dark is also something she just doesn't remember to do. It's a good thing I have a reminder set to block her calls between about 9 pm and 7 am because lately she's been calling me at all hours, leaving voice mails, wondering why the bus isn't here yet to pick her up for (fill in the blank with any sort of activity that might happen on any day), or asking me breathlessly if I will just come pick her up because apparently she has either missed the bus or it's just not coming.
I do think dementia is at play here but also anxiety ABOUT her inability to keep track of dates and times. I am going to call her psychiatrist to discuss this. She is very anxious.
I don't want to overmedicate her but at the same time, I hate to see her struggling so with anxiety. If I were her, I'd be anxious too if I couldn't fathom dates and times and had to rely on others from some sort of structure.
I also think she is missing meal times due to not understanding how to keep up with time. That being said, she has a 24/7 source for healthy meals so that's not the end of the world but I hate for her to miss out on socializing opportunities.
You know, the odd thing is that when I talk with her face to face, or about things that aren't related to time necessarily (relationships, real estate stuff, estate stuff) she is quite capable of carrying on a very logical conversation. She understands concepts and relationships and isn't showing a bit of confusion about people or many long term and even short term memory events - UNLESS they are directly related to some sort of time sequence or calendar. For instance, she has a very clear understanding that her house is under contract and that it's going to be sold in just a few weeks and all that. But she has zero concept of the date of closing and I don't dare even bring that up because if I do, she will fixate on that and wonder every single day and every single hour of every single day if TODAY is the date of closing and if she's supposed to be at some appointment.
She totally gets the process of selling and closing and all that, but the date and time line are apparently a mystery to her. She has a LOT of anxiety related to being somewhere, being picked up, appointments, etc.
Oddly, she's not upset about our upcoming trip to Ohio. She knows it's coming, she's looking forward to it, but she's not fixated on the date at all. However, she knows we're going shopping on Tuesday and she's already leaving me breathless, confused messages about waiting for me.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 04-17-2017 at 08:27 AM..
Well, my mom is having a VERY difficult time with dates and times. This in spite of having a HUGE clock in her room, and a "talking watch." Thing is, she has to remember to listen to the watch or look at the clock.
Apparently looking outside to see if it's light or dark is also something she just doesn't remember to do. It's a good thing I have a reminder set to block her calls between about 9 pm and 7 am because lately she's been calling me at all hours, leaving voice mails, wondering why the bus isn't here yet to pick her up for (fill in the blank with any sort of activity that might happen on any day), or asking me breathlessly if I will just come pick her up because apparently she has either missed the bus or it's just not coming.
I do think dementia is at play here but also anxiety ABOUT her inability to keep track of dates and times. I am going to call her psychiatrist to discuss this. She is very anxious.
I've noticed that anxiety makes everything worse. Your mom might also be anxious because she may feel it's getting harder to hide her inability, or maybe she's now beginning to realize that she's got a problem with keeping track. It's got to be hard to know that you are losing something you've always taken for granted.
I feel for you about the phone calls. I hate it when my home phone rings!
I've noticed that anxiety makes everything worse. Your mom might also be anxious because she may feel it's getting harder to hide her inability, or maybe she's now beginning to realize that she's got a problem with keeping track. It's got to be hard to know that you are losing something you've always taken for granted.
I feel for you about the phone calls. I hate it when my home phone rings!
I totally agree about the anxiety making things worse. I've got a call in to her counselor to discuss this anxiety. She hasn't had her meds adjusted at all, even with the death of my dad, because she has seemed to handle it all very well. And her scripts are all at pretty low dosages, so maybe we've got some wiggle room when it comes to treating the anxiety with meds. I don't think therapy (non meds related) is really going to help because she absolutely, totally refuses to admit one iota of anxiety. She has a lifetime of denial behaviors and frankly I don't think she's capable of working through them at this late stage.
KA -- did the house sale close and were you able to get your brother to get his own stuff from it?
The closing is in a couple of weeks. So far the stuff my mom is giving him is still in there - or was as of Saturday. i haven't been out there since then.
I totally agree about the anxiety making things worse. I've got a call in to her counselor to discuss this anxiety. She hasn't had her meds adjusted at all, even with the death of my dad, because she has seemed to handle it all very well. And her scripts are all at pretty low dosages, so maybe we've got some wiggle room when it comes to treating the anxiety with meds. I don't think therapy (non meds related) is really going to help because she absolutely, totally refuses to admit one iota of anxiety. She has a lifetime of denial behaviors and frankly I don't think she's capable of working through them at this late stage.
If the anxiety bothers her enough she can work through that, IF she really wants to change. I agree, that seems very unlikely.
If the anxiety bothers her enough she can work through that, IF she really wants to change. I agree, that seems very unlikely.
Oh lordy, she has no ability to actually address her issues and deal with them objectively. None. That ship sailed a LOOOONNNNNNGGGG time ago.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
