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The assistant cannot give her the meds! It has to be an RN. That's my frustration!!!!!! And RNs won't go out there without it being ordered by the doctor. And the doctor won't order it because it won't be "approved" by insurance - but I don't care about insurance. But they do.
It's insane! The whole world's gone mad.
I'd say.
Is it possible to hire a private nurse to visit her that is not affiliated with the facility. Or is not happening period without her doctor's order?
Or you know what, screw it! If the old bird won't cooperate, you've spent enough of your time trying to help her. Enough.
Kathryn, I rarely post but have been following your account of your issues with your Mom.
On this latest matter of her stopping her meds yet again, I wonder if it would be worthwhile to tell her that if she does not take her meds -- the meds her doctor has told her she must take -- then she will *die*. I realize that sounds extreme, but the anorexia and falls that have occurred when she's been off her meds in the past could lead to an earlier death than she might normally anticipate. Do you think that telling her this might shock her into a sense of compliance that she has not previously had?
Hmmmm, maybe. Wow, that's some big guns but you know, you're really right about it. I'll think about it - next time I talk with her seriously, which could be weeks from now, because I'm done visiting her for visitings' sake or trying to help her have a good time. Not while she's actively screwing up her life and mine and undoing as much as she can as fast as I'm "doing it." No way.
Nope. She runs at least hypomanic almost all the time and revs up higher and higher. She thinks she feels good. Can do anything. Is smarter than everyone. As she gets higher, paranoia sets in and everyone is out to get her.
She has been doing this so long she is addicted to being manic. Much like a drug user. Drug addicts know they can die, but the addiction is too strong to stop.
KA's Mom has not had dire enough consequences to fear mania. Which is good, but bad in this sense. Nothing has made her HAVE to face up to it like the brother. I am hoping she gets committed to mental health facility and that in and of itself might be a big enough deterrent to refusing meds.
If it isn't, she can keep going back in and having them force meds until she understands the program.
I'd say.
Is it possible to hire a private nurse to visit her that is not affiliated with the facility. Or is not happening period without her doctor's order?
Or you know what, screw it! If the old bird won't cooperate, you've spent enough of your time trying to help her. Enough.
Take care of yourself.
LOL I like your attitude!
I spent most of the morning talking with various people about this situation and her stuff in general - two doctors' offices, the facility, her attorney, the appraisal office - HOURS this morning (3 to be exact). Actually, I don't mind doing that part so much, though it is a chore, because I'm talking to reasonable people and gathering information - and in my world, knowledge is power.
Here's the conclusions we reached:
1. She may be a candidate for bi weekly Risperdal injections, which would require a biweekly trip to the doctor but hell, I'd do that if it worked as well as the meds by mouth every day. I'd rather take her to the doctor once every two weeks than worry about her every day.
2. I've alerted her psychologist, her psychiatrist, and the rest of her mental healthcare team to her refusal to take the meds, and I'm sure she has been lying out her teeth to them telling them she's taking them. I said, "Check her weight levels - see when they started going down? That's when she got off the meds." They said, "Yep...oh my..." I said, "That's right, so let's see if we can get some Risperdal injections lined up rather than counting on her to take the meds."
3. I didn't get a chance to meet with the admin at her facility but I am going to schedule an appointment with them tomorrow for later this week to see if we can get some sort of interim RN meds administration lined up while she is on the waiting list for assisted living and paying well every month. I don't mind an upcharge for this service.
4. She is going to get a surprise meeting with her psychiatrist Friday and he's in the loop now - he will meet with her when she goes to therapy Friday. She is still actively going to therapy because it's entertaining to her - and she literally thinks she is helping other people when she goes. She is blissfully unaware that she is actually going to therapy for HER MENTAL ILLNESS. So obviously, it's not working, but at least it keeps her entertained three days a week for several hours.
5. When she's moved to assisted living, I really don't care that much whether she takes her meds or not, because they will be more able and willing to accommodate and deal with her symptoms - pacing, up all hours, confusion about dates and times, not eating, etc. They will gently prod her to eat (and if she doesn't, oh well) and they will gently prod her to bathe, and they will keep her apartment clean whether she does or not, so that will all be worth the extra money whether or not she's compliant with treatment or meds.
The thing I'm looking forward to is Sunday when we go to church and see her there (most likely). Boy is she going to be surprised when we take her straight from church back to her apartment and drop her off and tell her to eat in the cafeteria there. I will not be refilling her meds because she's not taking them, so I won't even go in. Her cat has plenty of cat food and litter and she has plenty of toilet paper and pads. If she runs out of toiletries, they have them there at the facility for sale and I guess they can add them to her bill, or I can drop off a check.
And she adores my husband so it's going to really surprise her when she finds out she can't flirt and be coy and "cute" with him over lunch and a little shopping trip. And NO MORE DONUT HOLES FOR YOU, MADAM. We always used to stop and pick some up for her after church so she could munch on them for a couple of days - she loves donut holes. Though I knew something was up when she started saying, "Oh, there's no need to buy all those donut holes" - I suspected then that she was off her meds. That was about 6 weeks ago and it's been downhill ever since.
When she said so blithely, "Well, I guess I'll go my way and you can go yours," I don't really think she thought that all out. She's about to find out what that really means.
Sounds fair enough to me. I get frustrated for you just reading your posts (that's how well you write!), I can only imagine how bad it is to be there and having to go through it in person.
You know you're doing a yeoman's job with your mother, though. (((((((Kathryn))))))
Thank you for the kind words - writing this out is my form of venting and self help - LOL!
Honestly, I think I should print all this out one day and revise some of it and publish a book. I know from this forum that I'm certainly not alone in the world of Baby Boomers taking care of elderly parents - and it's surprising how many have mental issues. Really surprising.
Anyway, yes, it's very frustrating but I'm trying to push through it and enjoy my time with my loved ones - the ones who appreciate me and who are actually enjoyable people.
KA, I know you said the cat has plenty of litter, but does your Mom actually clean the litter box/enough? Does she have the mental acuity and memory enough to take care of that? I know that sounds trifling, but you certainly have your Mom's care in hand, so I worry about the cat instead, lol.
1. She may be a candidate for bi weekly Risperdal injections, which would require a biweekly trip to the doctor but hell, I'd do that if it worked as well as the meds by mouth every day. I'd rather take her to the doctor once every two weeks than worry about her every day.
I was about to ask if there is a non-pill format for her meds but I see you're right on top of this.
We had to discover the wonders of compounding pharmacies and such to give liquid and injectable medications to sick cats that simply could not be pilled.
KA, I know you said the cat has plenty of litter, but does your Mom actually clean the litter box/enough? Does she have the mental acuity and memory enough to take care of that? I know that sounds trifling, but you certainly have your Mom's care in hand, so I worry about the cat instead, lol.
Yes, actually my mom is fixated on this cat's litter box and cleans out the "clumps" several times a day. It's amazing to me that she can smell the litter box but can't smell her own clothes and self.
When she said so blithely, "Well, I guess I'll go my way and you can go yours," I don't really think she thought that all out. She's about to find out what that really means.
If she's anything like my MIL she will deny she ever said it. You should probably start recording all your conversations. It might come in handy in some other ways also, like with family who might not believe you about how bad she is, or with her doctors.
If she's anything like my MIL she will deny she ever said it. You should probably start recording all your conversations. It might come in handy in some other ways also, like with family who might not believe you about how bad she is, or with her doctors.
Good idea. One thing I've already started doing is taking more candid photos of her, and of her apartment. Sometimes a picture speaks a thousand words. She's skin and bones.
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She is blissfully unaware that she is actually going to therapy for HER MENTAL ILLNESS. So obviously, it's not working, but at least it keeps her entertained three days a week for several hours.