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It is not realistic to expect one person to be on call 24/7/365 - NO DAYS OFF per week?
The agency is probably violating federal and state laws.
In the end, it's just not smart - you may think you are "saving money," but at what ultimate cost?
It's highly unethical and in my mind, immoral.
The fact that you don't even know the person or know if they have family in the U.S. is also very telling.
I assure you, the agency is licensed, and highly regarded. It isn't my concern why the people they send signed on for the job. Nor is it any of my business, or yours, what the personal story of the caregiver is. She is an employee, plain and simple. I do hope she and my mother get along well, we'll keep an eye out for any problems that may arise.
It was never our intent to save money. My mother has the means to pay for this herself. She was miserable in the rehab center. She wanted to go home. We did what was necessary to make her wishes happen. She may not live much longer, but she has the opportunity to die at home, where she asked us to bring her.
I'm surprised that more people haven't dealt with line-in help on this forum. I appreciate the responses, but
I did hope for more first-hand experiences.
Have you been able to find out how much of that 8K goes to her?
No. I don't have any reason to ask. That's between her and her employer. We have no intention of trying to entice her away from the agency to save money on our end. Realistically, at 91, we don't know how much longer my mother will live. It's in the best interest of the aide to remain an employee of the agency, she'll need to find a new client at some point.
I actually have had experience - years and years worth - I understand how a person would WANT a caregiver 24/7/365, but it just is not logical or practical. You will find out.
People have to have uninterrupted sleep time and have to have days off per week - if you don't provide for that, in my mind, you (and the agency) are immoral.
That you have no interest in *your* employee speaks volumes - why don't you?
She is a human being who is working a really crappy job for low pay. Aren't you curious as to why that would be the case and what her story is? Do you have any regard for her or do you see her as a low-wage servant of sorts?
I actually have had experience - years and years worth - I understand how a person would WANT a caregiver 24/7/365, but it just is not logical or practical. You will find out.
People have to have uninterrupted sleep time and have to have days off per week - if you don't provide for that, in my mind, you (and the agency) are immoral.
That you have no interest in *your* employee speaks volumes - why don't you?
She is a human being who is working a really crappy job for low pay. Aren't you curious as to why that would be the case and what her story is? Do you have any regard for her or do you see her as a low-wage servant of sorts?
Maybe she enjoys her work? For quite a few years I was a 24/7 caregiver myself, with plenty of interrupted sleep, and no days off. It's called parenthood. And yes, exhausting it was, but I would do it again.
Now, tell me, do you use a lawn service? Ever have anybody come to work on your home such as an electrician or a plumber who were not self employed? At what point did you worry how much of that bill would find it's way into the technician's pocket? The aide is not our employee. She is her agency's employee. And I haven't even met her.
Maybe she enjoys her work? For quite a few years I was a 24/7 caregiver myself, with plenty of interrupted sleep, and no days off. It's called parenthood. And yes, exhausting it was, but I would do it again.
Now, tell me, do you use a lawn service? Ever have anybody come to work on your home such as an electrician or a plumber who were not self employed? At what point did you worry how much of that bill would find it's way into the technician's pocket? The aide is not our employee. She is her agency's employee. And I haven't even met her.
I find it different with caregiving, because it's so personal - the person is caring for your MOTHER - in her home!
And the comparison with having children does not fly - that was not a paid position - there are no laws governing hours . . .
If someone is living in your mother's home, you might want to meet them!
The fact that you questioned whether you should provide her with food is mind-boggling to me. If she is employed 24/7/365, how were you imagining HER needs might be met? These are reasonable questions, and while you might not be interested at all in her now, you might become interested, because her problems will affect your mother - it's kind of basic.
If she is low paid and getting room and board, I would be very curious about her story and her motive for wanting this situation. She is not doing it strictly for the love of your mother, so you might want to inquire.
The agency is immoral and I believe is allowing an illegal work situation to occur - it bothers me for a myriad of reasons - the unfairness, the illegality, and down the road, it WILL impact you. Do you think you can just pretend that this PERSON will have no PERSONAL needs - no need for time off, no need for family or company, no need to sleep uninterrupted, etc.?
Just ignore everything else but the practical issues - those will require your attention whether you want to admit it or not.
If money is no object, my recommendation would be to find an ethical agency and hire two people to cover the time needed (could be three days on, four off and vice versa) or 12 hour shifts. That would be the smart thing to do for your mother.
I brought up the cameras to my siblings when we first discussed bringing her home. My brothers thought it would be too intrusive for us to have footage of my mother being undressed, etc. We compromised, by making sure the aide understood we expected her to help my mother video chat with us daily. And we do intend to keep up the regular visits, one brother is there now, another will go up next week.
I'm not comfortable not using an agency. At least we know there is backup if needed. But it is sobering to realize that weekly bill doesn't translate into much at all for the caregiver.
Not really a bad deal for the caregiver considering they don't have a to pay any rent, utilities, or groceries. I've known several older single women who have done this. Seemed to work well for them and the families they worked for. I'm sure the agency knows what it's doing as well as the caregivers when taking these types of positions.
No. I don't have any reason to ask. That's between her and her employer. We have no intention of trying to entice her away from the agency to save money on our end. Realistically, at 91, we don't know how much longer my mother will live. It's in the best interest of the aide to remain an employee of the agency, she'll need to find a new client at some point.
OK I was responding to you saying it was 'sobering' to realize how little she gets of what you pay. Or I misunderstood.
Not really a bad deal for the caregiver considering they don't have a to pay any rent, utilities, or groceries. I've known several older single women who have done this. Seemed to work well for them and the families they worked for. I'm sure the agency knows what it's doing as well as the caregivers when taking these types of positions.
Good for you being able to keep mom at home.
Yes, in fact there was a caregiver on here with an arrangement like this privately, no agency. She chose it. It worked well for her.
I could see myself doing it with a private room and bath, especially if the person I was caring for was 'easy' (in personality). Heck, depending on how much the woman gets from that 8K it could be a good deal for me. I could probably still do the work I do now over there, or leave it and take it back up later. Pay off my mortgage. Cut off my utilities and such.
I assure you, the agency is licensed, and highly regarded. It isn't my concern why the people they send signed on for the job. Nor is it any of my business, or yours, what the personal story of the caregiver is. She is an employee, plain and simple. I do hope she and my mother get along well, we'll keep an eye out for any problems that may arise.
It was never our intent to save money. My mother has the means to pay for this herself. She was miserable in the rehab center. She wanted to go home. We did what was necessary to make her wishes happen. She may not live much longer, but she has the opportunity to die at home, where she asked us to bring her.
I'm surprised that more people haven't dealt with line-in help on this forum. I appreciate the responses, but
I did hope for more first-hand experiences.
OK first hand experience here, with my inlaws. They tried the 24/7 help in their own home - the only difference was it was in 8 hour shifts, not live in. But they needed 24/7 "on call" help, meaning that most of the job was sitting around, or doing light housework or light cooking or local errands or whatever.
It was about $9000 a month and at the end of a year, both elderly parents were isolated, depressed, and in MUCH worse condition physically and mentally. It was a terrible waste of money.
My mom lives in a senior living facility for $3500 or so a month - a 700 square foot apartment with a large patio. When she needs to move to memory care or a higher level of assisted living, her costs will be between $5000 and $6000 a month, depending on the level of care. This of course includes all food, utilities, housing costs, etc. in a NICE facility (not a "nursing home").
My inlaws could have done this and been a lot better off in the long run, with a higher quality of living - rather than sitting around in a big house watching NASCAR all day long in a dark living room, getting more and more depressed and isolated with each passing month.
I find it different with caregiving, because it's so personal - the person is caring for your MOTHER - in her home!
And the comparison with having children does not fly - that was not a paid position - there are no laws governing hours . . .
If someone is living in your mother's home, you might want to meet them!
The fact that you questioned whether you should provide her with food is mind-boggling to me. If she is employed 24/7/365, how were you imagining HER needs might be met? These are reasonable questions, and while you might not be interested at all in her now, you might become interested, because her problems will affect your mother - it's kind of basic.
If she is low paid and getting room and board, I would be very curious about her story and her motive for wanting this situation. She is not doing it strictly for the love of your mother, so you might want to inquire.
The agency is immoral and I believe is allowing an illegal work situation to occur - it bothers me for a myriad of reasons - the unfairness, the illegality, and down the road, it WILL impact you. Do you think you can just pretend that this PERSON will have no PERSONAL needs - no need for time off, no need for family or company, no need to sleep uninterrupted, etc.?
Just ignore everything else but the practical issues - those will require your attention whether you want to admit it or not.
If money is no object, my recommendation would be to find an ethical agency and hire two people to cover the time needed (could be three days on, four off and vice versa) or 12 hour shifts. That would be the smart thing to do for your mother.
A burnt out caregiver is not going to be ideal.
So many assumptions. "I" have not met the woman. Two of my brothers, and a SIL have. Another sister, who happens to be license geriatric social worker of many years, was instrumental in the vetting of both the agency and the aide.
You assume it is an illegal situation. You are wrong. You assume this woman does this work reluctantly, despite her choosing to get her CNA certification. And despite her coming to us from at least 2 previous long term assignments, one of 5 years, and the last one for 3. I'm confident she knows what the requirements of the job entail.
You assume the agency is unethical. You assume we now expect to be free of our obligations to ensure our mother's care. You assume my mother needs round-the-clock nursing. She doesn't. She's lucid, and tends to sleep a lot. if she needs to get up at night, the aide has a monitor so my mother can call for her.
In other words, nothing you have so vehemently written is based on anything other than your opinion. You are free to offer it, I am free to ignore it.
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