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Enough of this whining. Come…. Come with me to Charlotopia.....
I drive my 1992 Honda Civic VX Hatchback (66 MPG highway) to the secret entrance of Charlotopia - past the Crossing Landing Commons McMansions (stacked together like the buildings in a cold-war Soviet gulag), past the Reserve Preserve Place McMansions (where every house has parapets, minarets, and capulets and montagues), past the strip mall, and the other strip mall, and then past the other strip mall, and then that other strip mall that's past the other strip malls. But we remember to turn before the new strip mall they are building. That's too far. Yeah, the new strip mall where they had to dig up the bones of those Revolutionary War soldiers and throw them in a dumpster. A nice touch is that the mall is going to be named "The Revolutionary War Soldier's Bones Thrown in a Dumpster Mall", or something. Very historical and all that.
"Why do they call this place The Arboretum?", you ask snidely. "A Tree Grows in Charlotte", is my pitiful reply.
Behind the Starbucks (no, the other Starbucks) is a small road that seems to end in a cul-de-sac. A rusted speaker sits atop an unobtrusive pole at the side of the road. It looks like a speaker from a 1950's drive-in.... because it is (it still works, and why would anyone replace things that still work)?
I breathlessly speak the code words into the speaker: "I deserve to live better than this". Magically, the bushes at the end of the cul-de-sac part, revealing a hidden roadway.
We drive down the wooded lane. Well, here's my house. Small and eco-friendly. It's stylish, linear, modernist design is breathtaking - minimalist but hardly featureless, its beauty is in its dramatic shape. Its sleek design fits nicely into the wooded lot. No lawns to mow and water, and no fertilizer to pollute the ground water. And a sense of place, even though there are other houses a half-acre away through the wood.
And my house is well-built and reasonably-priced. That's a Toyota Home for you. I'm so glad they finally opened Toyota Home factories in the US, so we can live in eco-friendly, affordable, modernist housing like they do in Europe and Asia. And these houses are built by legal US citizens. I’m one of them. Gee, it's good to have a stable, well-paying job again.
We take the groceries from the back of the car. "Do you remember when supermarkets had those privacy-violating tracking cards?" I remember ruefully. "No", you say. "Stop teasing me. Privacy violation like that would be a fundamental Human Rights violation". I shrug at your innocence, and decide not to pursue it.
"Tomorrow is a work day", I think sadly. The next morning, I get up and struggle through the commute. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, and pad groggily over to my laptop. I log into the VPN line. I am at work. I remember back when they gave corporations a choice of either allowing every employee with a job that can be performed at home to work from home, or alternatively, the corporations could choose not doing business anymore in the United States of America. I throw open the window. Clean air.
I open the newspaper and read the headlines:
"Diverted Tax Money Recovered"
It seems the tax money that had been diverted to build infrastructure for new uptown condo developments will instead be used to erect tall wooden “eyesore” barriers at the side of the road so we won't be offended by the sight of those McMansions ever again.
And no more plea bargains either. And the Panthers leave town and the Patriots agree to play 50% of their home games at Charlottean Workers Stadium (formerly Bank of America Stadium).
And feelings of inadequacy, fear of the future, and money-worry have been lifted from people and replaced by feelings of good humor and magnamintity…. magninimty…. some other positive feeling.
Life is good.
The above story is a fantasy, of course. Sadly, there is nothing in the above tale that isn't available to us now or couldn't be implemented today. Except maybe the part about the Pats.
But let's stop whining. Come…. Come with me to Charlotopia......
Location: Some got six month some got one solid. But me and my buddies all got lifetime here
4,555 posts, read 10,421,190 times
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I think that would've made more sense if he said "babble babble babble...my 1992 Honda Civic...babble babble...<bong hit>...fundamental human rights violation...babble babble...Charlotopia...makes no sense babble babble...."
Charlotopia kinda sounds like a new fruit rollup flavor though.
I think that would've made more sense if he said "babble babble babble...my 1992 Honda Civic...babble babble...<bong hit>...fundamental human rights violation...babble babble...Charlotopia...makes no sense babble babble...."
Charlotopia kinda sounds like a new fruit rollup flavor though.
Hmmmm. Dunno, Brian. I was thinking - sounds like - some kind of futuristic dance club. Maybe Euro-trash in a Cyborg environment . . . ????
I know! It's Charlotte's answer to Fruitopia!!!!!! The new non-carbonated drink of the south!!!!
They can put it alongside of Strawberry Passion Awareness and Raspberry Psychic Lemonade.
In the same section with Doobie Double Delight?
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