Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Could she really be a Christian, and still have this disorder?
Psychological disorders don't discriminate.
June suspects that there are only two things you can do given the situation: Ask the police to look into whether or not the recovering of your rings from her is a possibility (given her history and your suspicions) and to pray to better understand, and thereby forgive her.
(June realizes that that second bit of advice coming from an atheist may be, well....a bit odd.)
June suspects that there are only two things you can do given the situation: Ask the police to look into whether or not the recovering of your rings from her is a possibility (given her history and your suspicions) and to pray to better understand, and thereby forgive her.
(June realizes that that second bit of advice coming from an atheist may be, well....a bit odd.)
Not really when one "thinks" he or she has a glimpse of what June is made of......
If she gave back your zester, have you considered visting her and simply asking if she'll give you the rings back?
I can't imagine you'd be worried about 'hurting her feelings' since she's already taken from you before and you must have pointed it out when you saw it.
If she gave back your zester, have you considered visting her and simply asking if she'll give you the rings back?
I can't imagine you'd be worried about 'hurting her feelings' since she's already taken from you before and you must have pointed it out when you saw it.
...Or a well written note to her, asking that the rings be returned due to their obvious importance and sentimental value to you and your wife, being sure to include a line to the effect of "no questions asked; no ill will" but simply conveying that you would appreciate the return of the rings....
Why do some people...who say they are a Christian, go to church, pray to God, read the Bible, fellowship with other Christians...
...at the same time do REALLY bad things to others???
We are an "acquaintance" of one such a person, a middle-aged woman, who came out to visit me and my wife a couple of times. First, we caught this person stealing a "zester" (kitchen tool for grating cheese) from our kitchen. It was brand-new...had never been used. Later, my wife noticed it was missing, and then one day when visiting this woman saw it setting there in a drawer in this woman's kitchen. The woman gave it back, so we forgave her, and put the incident behind us...no big deal. (or so we thought) (Besides, how much can the item be worth...maybe $5 ?)
So...the same woman comes back to visit us again. A day later, my wife notices that 6 (yes, SIX!) of her rings are missing, from the drawer she keeps them in. There were our wedding bands, and 4 other rings, all gold, three had real diamonds, with a total appraised value of about $2500. We thought at first that my wife had simply misplaced the rings, so we searched the entire house THOROUGHLY, top to bottem, over the course of about 10 days. We left nothing unopened, nothing unturned...searched every box, every pocket, every drawer....I mean everything. We also searched our vehicles, and every other place we had been that day...nothing. That woman had been in the room where the rings were...unattended and unwatched...for about 5 to 10 minutes. We asked around, and learned she had been fired from THREE jobs for stealing stuff. A local church had kicked her out and asked her not to come back, unless she talked to the pastor first. And we heard from others that she had taken stuff from them as well. So....circumstantial evidence only: we believe she took our rings. Nobody else has visited us since that woman was here (except for the police)...the house wasn't broken into...we have only her as suspect...
We filed a theft report with the police, and they are investigating, but haven't gotten back to us yet. We don't know what else we can do. (except to pray) Because of what they represent, we cannot replace our wedding bands for any price...unless they are recovered, they are now gone forever...
I am just totally flabbergasted that anyone who calls themselves "Christian" can, at the same time, steal thousands of dollars worth of stuff that doesn't belong to them....they have way more than just "one screw loose"...they are playing with half their deck of cards missing. Personally, I do not care $.02 about jewelry (don't even wear a watch), but since my wife is so heart broken and depressed over all this it also affects me. We don't know what else we can do, at this point...
Why do people do such things, to others? I fear for this woman on that day she has to stand before the Lord...
(and yes....nothing of value will ever be left just laying around in our house anymore...unless we are standing right there)
Bud
ROTFLMAO ...
I'm not laughing at your situation, its just that i have had similar experiences.
I'm sorry for your lost possessions Bud ... She is obviously a Kleptomaniac.
...Or a well written note to her, asking that the rings be returned due to their obvious importance and sentimental value to you and your wife, being sure to include a line to the effect of "no questions asked; no ill will" but simply conveying that you would appreciate the return of the rings....
I'm going to disagree with you on this June because if she is a klepto, impulsiveness would enter into giving it back as much as it was in taking it.
Plus a note can be ignored and give her time to consider the consequences
I'm going to disagree with you on this June because if she is a klepto, impulsiveness would enter into giving it back as much as it was in taking it.
The key component to kleptomania is the irrational, uncontrollable urge (compulsion) to steal things, but the compulsive aspect of the disorder does not include the compulsion to return them. In other words, for reasons that the patient does not understand, they feel the need to steal objects that they neither need, or that are of any use to them. More than likely, stolen items are simply placed somewhere within the patient's enviornment, and thus forgotten about in any emotionally attached sense. It is the act, itself, of taking items that is central to kleptomania. To the best of my knowledge, I have never heard of a kleptomaniac actually returning stolen goods, unless they are far enough along in some sort of cognitive-behavioral or emotive therapy, such that they have the capacity to both better understand their disorder, and to act upon their actions; hence, returning stolen goods.
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
Plus a note can be ignored and give her time to consider the consequences
I agree that a note can be ignored. My thought was that a note would be far less "personal" than confronting her in person, which could potentially prove embarrassing or difficult for both Bud, his wife, and the person who may potentially have this disorder. Given the "distance" of a note, where the individual is able to empathize with Bud and wife's loss, along with the guilt that most kleptomaniacs feel, she just might consider returning the six rings. --Provided that she is not deluged with anger, blame, and the threat of any consequences for her actions, as that would put her on the defensive, and as such, she would thereby deny having taken the rings...
I could be totally off base here, but the above is the best I can come up with from a purely "clinical" standpoint....In terms of the "religious" perspective, I don't see any point in blaming this person for something that she clearly has no control or volition over. --Which is entirely different from one's valid feelings of anger and resentment over the loss of the rings. There was also something of interest in Bud's OP where the pastor of her church has requested that she meet with him prior to her return to the church (if I am remembering the OP correctly.)
If anything, despite the OP and the valid sense of outrage that they, or anyone should have in having such items stolen, it would seem to me that the larger question (and challenge) would be for the Christian to ask themselves how to deal with, and hopefully to ultimately forgive someone who is afflicted with such a psychological disorder...
--Which June realizes is a "tall order" or so she would imagine...
..."but the compulsive aspect of the disorder does not include the compulsion to return them."
Oh no, of course not...I agree with you but....if the request to give them back is made face to face, it may spur an impulse to do so.
"....it would seem to me that the larger question (and challenge) would be for the Christian to ask themselves how to deal with, and hopefully to ultimately forgive someone who is afflicted with such a psychological disorder..."
For the purposes of this forum, that may be the larger question.
For the OP and his wife, getting their rings back may go a long way in helping them to feeling forgiving
It stands to reason that no consequences can be construed as enabling......which does nothing to help the woman
For the purposes of this forum, that may be the larger question.
For the OP and his wife, getting their rings back may go a long way in helping them to feeling forgiving
June agrees....to a point, based on the fact that she's not so sure that the Christian notion/concept of "forgiveness" is in any way truly based on a sense of justice, or "that which is just." It wouldn't necessarily be "forgiveness" if that were the case. The 'larger order' of forgiveness (in a Christian sense, or otherwise) is a much, much taller order, especially when done so within the context of one's having been done wrong to....
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
It stands to reason that no consequences can be construed as enabling......which does nothing to help the woman
Refer to 'bolded' portion, above: June absolutely agrees!
June agrees....to a point, based on the fact that she's not so sure that the Christian notion/concept of "forgiveness" is in any way truly based on a sense of justice, or "that which is just." It wouldn't necessarily be "forgiveness" if that were the case. The 'larger order' of forgiveness (in a Christian sense, or otherwise) is a much, much taller order, especially when done so within the context of one's having been done wrong to....
Refer to 'bolded' portion, above: June absolutely agrees!
You're 100% right ....at least as far as that's how I was taught...and it is a tall order for a wronged mere human
Perhaps the OP is a "better man than I " (A literally and grammatically wrong bit of lyric thievery)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...
