I posted this on an earlier humor thread that seems to have died almost before it began. This one is my favorite "church" humor joke, and one that any pastor really, really understands.
A new pastor came into service at a very large Protestant church with thousands of members. He looked over his new office with its big polished walnut desk, row after row of built in book stands, and pictures of Jesus in prayer. He was both proud and humbled as he sat down and began putting his personal items in the large desk.
As he opened the wide, pencil and paper clip drawer in the center of his desk he noticed four envelopes. A sticky note from his predecessor was attached to the top of the four rubber-banded envelopes. It read, "As you go through your pastorate here at XXXXXX Church, you will inevitably be faced with difficult times in which you will not know the best course of action. The envelopes are numbered 1 through 4. Each time you face an insurmountable crisis, open an envelope, sequentially, and an answer will help you."
The pastor smiled and pushed the envelopes to the back of the drawer.
A couple of years went by before the first big division came within the church. The pastor counseled with deacons and elders, he prayed and sought God's guidance. By accident one afternoon, he opened his middle drawer and saw the envelopes. Desperate as he was, he pulled out the first one, opened it and read a note which said "Start a Building Program!"
So he went out and began a campaign to build a new educational building--and sure enough, after a few months the original problem faded away.
A couple of more years go by and a second crisis develops. Again he prays and seeks guidance, but at last he goes into his drawer and opens envelope #2. The note read, "Balance the Budget". Well, they did owe money on the new building so that's what he undertook, a balanced budget program. And like the first time, the second crisis faded away.
Still more time passes and a third crisis arises. By now he knows how to solve his problem. He goes to his middle drawer and opens envelope #3. The note read, "Form a Committee." What a terrific solution! He appointed twenty people to study the problem, and, of course, like many things relegated to a committee, the crisis slowly died in their hands.
Perhaps three years go by before a fourth and very serious crisis arises, threatening to divide the church completely. The pastor prays and cries and seeks God's help. After all he only has one envelope remaining. But no answer is forthcoming. Eventually he sits down at his desk and reluctantly breaks open the last envelope.
In it is a note that says, "Make four envelopes."
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Christian/clean joke thread
