Confused and Struggling to believe (Deist, traditions, Gospels, myth)
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A little about my story, I was saved when I was 15. I had a period of backsliding for a few years and then met my husband and attended the same church faithfully for 22 years. A lot happened in my life last year and I have ended up leaving the church and questioning everything I believed in my whole life and I just want some answers.
I started last year deciding to read the Bible for myself, to really dig into it. I didn't start with a mind to question it's beliefs or be critical, but just to study to get closer to God. As I studied, more and more things didn't seem to add up to me. The first thing was tithing, I couldn't line up all I had ever heard preached about it and what the Bible said and come out with the conclusion that I should be tithing and giving my 10%. This was a big blow to my faith as we are a lower income family and always struggled to pay bills, but believed so much in tithing we always paid that first whether we had the money or not. I have not paid any tithes for about a year and haven't had all the bad things happen that people say will happen. You know, the if you don't pay your tithes God won't bless you. We have still been blessed this past year.
Second thing I read about was Pentecostal beliefs, as I was in a Pentecostal church for my whole adult life. As I read the little in the Bible about speaking in tongues I couldn't see where it was something that was still going on today. It seemed God was using it to start His church in the beginning and no one babbled, but spoke real languages. I was to the point that I ended up leaving my church. So much speaking in tongues going on there and 1 Cor. 14 says don't speak in tongues without an interpreter, I felt I had to leave.
Well I left I started feeling like I've been lied to my whole life, I went to a very Pentecostal church that bordered on word of faith, and I can't believe any of it. It would of been fine to stop there and just find a good Baptist church to go to, which I tried, but the damage had already been done. I questioned everything that came out of the preachers mouth. I just felt like I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to be lied to or manipulated anymore. Then came the questioning if the Bible is even God's word and if it is what is the right way to believe it? There are so many different denominations and each one has it's own beliefs, I feel like there is no way to know which way is right. It grew to questioning religion altogether. Every society has one and they all say there's is the only way. I wonder if I grew up in India would I be a Hindu right now? Probably, what about Iraq I would probably be a Muslim. So I don't even know Christianity is the "right" religion and if it is how do I follow it with my whole heart knowing I can easily be deceived by the Bible and those preaching it.
The worst part is through all of this I have felt totally abandoned by God. I have been a faithful Christian my whole adult life, being very active in His work and church and now when I need Him he isn't there for me. No answers to prayer about what is right or which way to turn.
Thanks for listening to my long post, any advice is welcomed.
Hi Lisa, you are not alone. So much of "Christianity" has been about doctrines and what you had to believe and how to fit in with the "right" church, and it is just not that complicated. Jesus' message was about the love of God and how to live in a way that is reflecting that love to others by having concern for their well-being. It is about forgiveness when we fail and living in love.
What can I tell you? The best thing is to find a group in which that basic idea is clearly expressed and figure that they may still have some confusion about unimportant doctrines.
You are doing the right thing by reading God's Word for yourself and not relying on any man's interpretation. The Bible will speak to you if you ask God to open your eyes to His truth. Yes, from your post I have to say you were lied to in some points of theology. Titheing is not scriptural for Christians, as you correctly determined. A Baptist church may be a step in the right direction, but there are so many that call themselves Baptist and many of those are out in left field in their teachings. Test their teachings against what the Bible says. If they don't teach what the Bible says then they are deceived or lying. Let God be true and every man a liar. May God give you faith and guidance in your quest. God is truth. If you don't mind, I would like to pray for you.
Lisa, you're in a hard spot -- I've been there. All I can say is that in hindsight, it was a good and necessary step in the right direction for me. I had to scrap EVERYthing that I'd ever been taught. It was freeing and I'm grateful to have gone through it ... now.
What do you think your next step will be in this moment?
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
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First of all I should trek you I am an atheist, and how I became one.
I went to catholic school, sat through the catechisms and listened to the nuns and priests. Mostly I was not impressed.
Never went to church for years, and I could at best be described an agnostic. My second marriage was to a very fundamentalist woman. I was pretty tolerant of religious beliefs, so that was not an issue.
Of course we discussed issues, and on her suggestion, I started reading the bible. And a eight volume concordance.
The more I read and studied, the more hypocrisy and deceit I saw. The bible teaches horrible lessons, ones my morals could not justify. What was preached as the supposed values could only be obtained by picking and choosing, or interpreting writings in the most obtuse ways. What was given as historical fact, science has shown could not have happened.
On the end, we had an amicable divorce. She was firm in her beliefs of s young earth, that Halloween was bad, and looked forward to the rapture. I was science orientated, and could not out up with the fairytale existence her and her church friends lived with.
Your starting to go the same path I did.
Think of it this way. Religion is ask about belief. Science is about understanding. Would you rather believe or understand.
A little about my story, I was saved when I was 15. I had a period of backsliding for a few years and then met my husband and attended the same church faithfully for 22 years. A lot happened in my life last year and I have ended up leaving the church and questioning everything I believed in my whole life and I just want some answers.
Thanks for listening to my long post, any advice is welcomed.
Lisa
The solution is simple:
Be a deist and pick a religion that you like. And never forget that religion is religion. Even Sola Scriptura is religion.
God is a mystery and all we can do is create religion.
All religions claim to have the truth.
Assume you only know you know nothing and adapt to a religion that is pleasant and full of traditions.
The bible is full of contradictions and I suggest you do not become a bible literalist. Use the best parts of the bible as a spiritual guide.
Stop jumping from church to church.
Last edited by Julian658; 04-10-2014 at 10:12 AM..
I understand completely how you feel and this is what I believe has become a failure of the modern church. We do not equip and help believers who truly have a thirst for understanding and instead we simply put those individuals down.
What also doesn't help is there is inconsistency with what is being taught. What I have learned is our journeys as Christians has us constantly seeking God. When we have that desire, we thirst for truth and we want to understand how God is operating in our lives. It sounds like you need a person who can really answer a lot of biblical questions that you have to assure you of what is biblical. Do you know anyone?
First of all I should trek you I am an atheist, and how I became one.
I went to catholic school, sat through the catechisms and listened to the nuns and priests. Mostly I was not impressed.
Never went to church for years, and I could at best be described an agnostic. My second marriage was to a very fundamentalist woman. I was pretty tolerant of religious beliefs, so that was not an issue.
Of course we discussed issues, and on her suggestion, I started reading the bible. And a eight volume concordance.
The more I read and studied, the more hypocrisy and deceit I saw. The bible teaches horrible lessons, ones my morals could not justify. What was preached as the supposed values could only be obtained by picking and choosing, or interpreting writings in the most obtuse ways. What was given as historical fact, science has shown could not have happened.
On the end, we had an amicable divorce. She was firm in her beliefs of s young earth, that Halloween was bad, and looked forward to the rapture. I was science orientated, and could not out up with the fairytale existence her and her church friends lived with.
Your starting to go the same path I did.
Think of it this way. Religion is ask about belief. Science is about understanding. Would you rather believe or understand.
Good post!
Surprisingly there are some similarities between new atheists and fundamentalists. They both have a strong need to believe. The difference is that fundamentalists end up believing in magic and mythology and atheists cannot prove to themselves God exists.
Atheists seek the truth by using reason whereas fundamentalists seek the truth by assuming the bible is the word of God.
In the end the existence or non existence of God is moot because it is a mystery. There are many agnostics that go to church every Sunday and they have no issues with that. They do not have a need to absolutely know the truth.
A little about my story, I was saved when I was 15. I had a period of backsliding for a few years and then met my husband and attended the same church faithfully for 22 years. A lot happened in my life last year and I have ended up leaving the church and questioning everything I believed in my whole life and I just want some answers.
I started last year deciding to read the Bible for myself, to really dig into it. I didn't start with a mind to question it's beliefs or be critical, but just to study to get closer to God. As I studied, more and more things didn't seem to add up to me. The first thing was tithing, I couldn't line up all I had ever heard preached about it and what the Bible said and come out with the conclusion that I should be tithing and giving my 10%. This was a big blow to my faith as we are a lower income family and always struggled to pay bills, but believed so much in tithing we always paid that first whether we had the money or not. I have not paid any tithes for about a year and haven't had all the bad things happen that people say will happen. You know, the if you don't pay your tithes God won't bless you. We have still been blessed this past year.
Second thing I read about was Pentecostal beliefs, as I was in a Pentecostal church for my whole adult life. As I read the little in the Bible about speaking in tongues I couldn't see where it was something that was still going on today. It seemed God was using it to start His church in the beginning and no one babbled, but spoke real languages. I was to the point that I ended up leaving my church. So much speaking in tongues going on there and 1 Cor. 14 says don't speak in tongues without an interpreter, I felt I had to leave.
Well I left I started feeling like I've been lied to my whole life, I went to a very Pentecostal church that bordered on word of faith, and I can't believe any of it. It would of been fine to stop there and just find a good Baptist church to go to, which I tried, but the damage had already been done. I questioned everything that came out of the preachers mouth. I just felt like I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to be lied to or manipulated anymore. Then came the questioning if the Bible is even God's word and if it is what is the right way to believe it? There are so many different denominations and each one has it's own beliefs, I feel like there is no way to know which way is right. It grew to questioning religion altogether. Every society has one and they all say there's is the only way. I wonder if I grew up in India would I be a Hindu right now? Probably, what about Iraq I would probably be a Muslim. So I don't even know Christianity is the "right" religion and if it is how do I follow it with my whole heart knowing I can easily be deceived by the Bible and those preaching it.
The worst part is through all of this I have felt totally abandoned by God. I have been a faithful Christian my whole adult life, being very active in His work and church and now when I need Him he isn't there for me. No answers to prayer about what is right or which way to turn.
Thanks for listening to my long post, any advice is welcomed.
Lisa
Hi Lisa. God is always there for you, but your volition is always the issue. When going though a spiritually 'dry' period, it is up to you to maintain positive volition and to persist in seeking the answers, and to persist in prayer.
It's easy to be confused with all the conflicting things that you hear. Regarding Tithing, that is something which was never Biblically imposed on the church and is not valid. Tithing and spiritual giving are two different things. In spiritual giving the believer in Jesus Christ is free to give as motivated by the Lord. There is no requirement to give any set amount such as 10% of your income. Tithing was strictly an Old Testament thing. Basically, tithing was income tax imposed on Israel. It was required of both believers and unbelievers. But for the complete story on tithing I am going to refer you to the following studies on the doctrine of tithing. I will ask you to read them and see if you can agree with them.
As for speaking in tonques, that is no longer a legitimate activity. Tongues was a temporary spiritual gift at the beginning of the church age. It's purpose was to warn the Jews of the impending discipline coming on Israel. Again, let me simply refer you to the following studies on tongues. Read them and see if you agree with them.
I hope this will be of help to you. And Lisa, please be very leery of the advice you receive from posters on this forum. Once you've been on the forum for awhile, you will see that all kinds of beliefs are expressed here, and so very much of what is stated on this forum simply is not Biblical.
A little about my story, I was saved when I was 15. I had a period of backsliding for a few years and then met my husband and attended the same church faithfully for 22 years. A lot happened in my life last year and I have ended up leaving the church and questioning everything I believed in my whole life and I just want some answers.
I started last year deciding to read the Bible for myself, to really dig into it. I didn't start with a mind to question it's beliefs or be critical, but just to study to get closer to God. As I studied, more and more things didn't seem to add up to me. The first thing was tithing, I couldn't line up all I had ever heard preached about it and what the Bible said and come out with the conclusion that I should be tithing and giving my 10%. This was a big blow to my faith as we are a lower income family and always struggled to pay bills, but believed so much in tithing we always paid that first whether we had the money or not. I have not paid any tithes for about a year and haven't had all the bad things happen that people say will happen. You know, the if you don't pay your tithes God won't bless you. We have still been blessed this past year.
Second thing I read about was Pentecostal beliefs, as I was in a Pentecostal church for my whole adult life. As I read the little in the Bible about speaking in tongues I couldn't see where it was something that was still going on today. It seemed God was using it to start His church in the beginning and no one babbled, but spoke real languages. I was to the point that I ended up leaving my church. So much speaking in tongues going on there and 1 Cor. 14 says don't speak in tongues without an interpreter, I felt I had to leave.
Well I left I started feeling like I've been lied to my whole life, I went to a very Pentecostal church that bordered on word of faith, and I can't believe any of it. It would of been fine to stop there and just find a good Baptist church to go to, which I tried, but the damage had already been done. I questioned everything that came out of the preachers mouth. I just felt like I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to be lied to or manipulated anymore. Then came the questioning if the Bible is even God's word and if it is what is the right way to believe it? There are so many different denominations and each one has it's own beliefs, I feel like there is no way to know which way is right. It grew to questioning religion altogether. Every society has one and they all say there's is the only way. I wonder if I grew up in India would I be a Hindu right now? Probably, what about Iraq I would probably be a Muslim. So I don't even know Christianity is the "right" religion and if it is how do I follow it with my whole heart knowing I can easily be deceived by the Bible and those preaching it.
The worst part is through all of this I have felt totally abandoned by God. I have been a faithful Christian my whole adult life, being very active in His work and church and now when I need Him he isn't there for me. No answers to prayer about what is right or which way to turn.
Thanks for listening to my long post, any advice is welcomed.
Lisa
Lisa, first let me say I mean no offense by my first words. But, see, I don't understand your reaction to finding the truth [others have said pretty much what you're saying too]. What do I mean by that? I too discovered the truth about the tithe and, and the Pentecostal teachings. Did I get upset? No, I was very thankful to know the truth.
Did I feel like I had been lied to? Yes, by men, but not by God. Also I didn't blame God for it; He's the one who said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
Quote:
It grew to questioning religion altogether.
This may be the 'root' of the problem. Why do I say that? Knowing God/Christ, and having a personal relationship with Him is not anywhere near the same as 'religion.' I was once very religious till God came and found me, drew me to Himself, and I learned the difference between the two.
Quote:
So I don't even know Christianity is the "right" religion and if it is how do I follow it with my whole heart knowing I can easily be deceived by the Bible and those preaching it.
This is my suggestion FWIW. Take your Bible and 'sit at the feet' of Christ by reading about Him in the gospels. Let Christ 'show' you the Father and it will change your life.
Blessings....
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