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Too many people overthink this issue. My parents are very firm in their conservative Christian beliefs. When I finally came out to them I know it was definitely hard for them to process. I respected that and allowed them time and space to figure out their own feelings.
We had further discussions later on and basically just respect each others' views and don't try to force our own beliefs upon each other. My parents love me unconditionally. They think being gay is a sin. We will most likely never be on the same page about this topic and that's ok. They've also chosen to accept my partner and treat him really well and it feels completely genuine to both of us. My mom has made it clear that he's welcome in their home anytime.
I get that the whole "loud and proud" thing can be obnoxious as is the case with anybody who's loud and proud about any topic. People like that are obnoxious. I think the OP just needs to be respectful and kind and it's ok to not agree with her. Her niece doesn't have to agree with her either. It's still possible to have a relationship with people with different belief systems if people choose to be mature.
I'm not anticipating any problems but in the off-chance that she says something like, "You're more open than the others, so you won't disapprove of us, right?" or something to that effect. What if she presses me for my opinion or approval? (my whole extended family is conservative Christians so no one knows what to think)
If she's as "proud" as you suggest, why would she care if she has your approval? She probably has a lack of self-esteem.
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Originally Posted by Sand&Salt
She's 27 or so, a recent "convert" as she was straight her whole life. I personally think she came to gayness when she was unsuccessful finding a guy (she is quite obese), but that's just my opinion. She is kind of "loud and proud" and wants the pronoun thing, etc. I have no idea of her spiritual state.
I know the type. It's almost stereotypical, at this point.
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Originally Posted by Sand&Salt
I'm fine with gays and like them, but it's never been pushed in my face by those I've known. I know as Christians we need to accept and love them, not our place to judge, etc.
I disagree. We Christians do not need to accept other's sinful behavior. We just need to treat everyone we encounter like how we want to be treated, i.e. The Golden Rule.
There are lots of lifestyles I don't agree with, but I don't treat anyone who participates in those lifestyles any differently than I would of someone I view to be the "perfect" person.
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Originally Posted by Sand&Salt
In the event that she puts me on the spot, so to speak, any advice? Kinda dreading it, to be honest....
"As a Christian, I don't approve of your lifestyle choice. However, I wouldn't treat you any differently than anyone else. What you do in your personal life is your business. It's between you and God. Now, who wants cake?!?!"
That's not possible. You can't tell someone that their love life is a sin without coming across as hateful and insulting. I'm sure glad you're not meeting my niece.
Sure it is. I've worked closely with gay men and women. I've sat and had discussions with them. One particular man was a pretty good friend. He knew that I disagreed with the homosexual lifestyle, and the Bible called it sin. He thought Christianity was a sham. But we were adults and we got along.
I'm sorry if that is a foreign concept to you. It really explains a lot in the way you interact with me and others.
My sister asked me to pick my gay niece up in Seattle and driver to her Portland and keep her the weekend until her flight out of Portland. The issue of being gay never came up. It's not up for discussion anyways. There is a lot to talk about and do in life without focusing on that issue. You are not the parent. Your involvement is limited. Have fun.
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