Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
They say that these years, these college years, are supposed to be the best years of my life. Well, sadly, if that is true, I would rather be dead than to keep on existing.
I hate it when people say, "Oh you have your whole life ahead of you! You will never have more opportunities and freedom than you will in college. These are the BEST years of your life."
To be honest, these past seven/eight months have been horrible, including a serious suicidal attempt, twice being put in a hospital and a "safe place", and my whole world has just fallen apart. At this point, I'm only existing, not living, and my life is so unfulfilling and pointless.
Please, tell me, to all those who have gone to college and have lived quite longer than me (I've been around for awhile: 19 years) and had that "traditional" college going experience: was college the best years of your life? If not, do you find your post-grad life to be a happier, more fulfilling time for you?
Thanks in advance!
Your comment about suicide and depression is side-tracking the thread. Unless the depression is related to your college experience so far, I'd consider striking it from your OP, or perhaps, offering some insight (as much as you feel necessary) into it's connection with college. Otherwise you are going to get responses that focus on this aspect of the OP instead of answering the question posed.
But, before I get to your question, your second paragraph really jumps out (more so than the third). The whole "I hate it when people say...." line infers that what-ever you are experiencing you believe is unique to only you, and that, since it is only unique to you, no-one on Earth could ever possibly understand what you are going through. Perhaps I am off-base here, but generally when people "don't want to here it", what they are really saying is that what they want to here are words that they want to hear; they want advice that is catered to their specific situation.
A lot of students had a real bad time in high school, and believed things would improve in college. Perhaps they were teased, or bullied, for being homosexual, poor, "dumb", not "white", etc., etc., and thought once they left that environment, and entered the perceived "liberal" college atmosphere, that things would really turn around for them. Sadly, for many, college is just a repeat of high school. Personally, I hated high school, and had a better time in college. Ironically, now that I am in late 30s (and in college for the second time), I look back at my high school years as some really good times. However, those good times had nothing to do with high school.
And just like high school, my college years (the first time) were pretty good, but they also had nothing to do with college. I have never lived in a dorm, nor never really had school spirit. While I enjoyed my courses, for the most part I was only on campus to go to class. If I didn't have class, or need to be on campus (dealing with enrollment, fine aid, the bookstore, etc.), I stayed away. My group of friends had nothing to do with my college (although a few did go to my school), and I never went to "college parties", even though I definitely had that stereotypical college experience.
As I progress in age, and look back on my life, I find that my late 20s were really good, and so far, my 30s as well. If I had to choose, I would say that my early 30s were the best years of my life, but I suspect that when I near 50, I might look back on my 40s as the best.
I agree with the comment that those who hold college as the "best years of their lives" tend to be those who really lived the "college lifestyle", but, I will add, that college is typically the first, and sadly the last, time that most people will "live" like that. After college, with careers, and family, and children, many miss those carefree days and tend to believe that they were the best years because those where the (last) years they were able to drink when-ever they wanted, hang out with who ever they wanted, skip school when they wanted, etc. Essentially, their only "responsibility" was to somehow manage to graduate, and even that can be done half-assed at even the best schools (within reason).
Ironically, with all the responsibility and mundane daily routines of adult life, I find that I actually have more free time, more time to do things I enjoy, and ultimately, am having more fun and enjoyment in life now that I am older vs. back when I was a young buck going through college the first time.
Your comment about suicide and depression is side-tracking the thread. Unless the depression is related to your college experience so far, I'd consider striking it from your OP, or perhaps, offering some insight (as much as you feel necessary) into it's connection with college. Otherwise you are going to get responses that focus on this aspect of the OP instead of answering the question posed.
But, before I get to your question, your second paragraph really jumps out (more so than the third). The whole "I hate it when people say...." line infers that what-ever you are experiencing you believe is unique to only you, and that, since it is only unique to you, no-one on Earth could ever possibly understand what you are going through. Perhaps I am off-base here, but generally when people "don't want to here it", what they are really saying is that what they want to here are words that they want to hear; they want advice that is catered to their specific situation.
A lot of students had a real bad time in high school, and believed things would improve in college. Perhaps they were teased, or bullied, for being homosexual, poor, "dumb", not "white", etc., etc., and thought once they left that environment, and entered the perceived "liberal" college atmosphere, that things would really turn around for them. Sadly, for many, college is just a repeat of high school. Personally, I hated high school, and had a better time in college. Ironically, now that I am in late 30s (and in college for the second time), I look back at my high school years as some really good times. However, those good times had nothing to do with high school.
And just like high school, my college years (the first time) were pretty good, but they also had nothing to do with college. I have never lived in a dorm, nor never really had school spirit. While I enjoyed my courses, for the most part I was only on campus to go to class. If I didn't have class, or need to be on campus (dealing with enrollment, fine aid, the bookstore, etc.), I stayed away. My group of friends had nothing to do with my college (although a few did go to my school), and I never went to "college parties", even though I definitely had that stereotypical college experience.
As I progress in age, and look back on my life, I find that my late 20s were really good, and so far, my 30s as well. If I had to choose, I would say that my early 30s were the best years of my life, but I suspect that when I near 50, I might look back on my 40s as the best.
I agree with the comment that those who hold college as the "best years of their lives" tend to be those who really lived the "college lifestyle", but, I will add, that college is typically the first, and sadly the last, time that most people will "live" like that. After college, with careers, and family, and children, many miss those carefree days and tend to believe that they were the best years because those where the (last) years they were able to drink when-ever they wanted, hang out with who ever they wanted, skip school when they wanted, etc. Essentially, their only "responsibility" was to somehow manage to graduate, and even that can be done half-assed at even the best schools (within reason).
Ironically, with all the responsibility and mundane daily routines of adult life, I find that I actually have more free time, more time to do things I enjoy, and ultimately, am having more fun and enjoyment in life now that I am older vs. back when I was a young buck going through college the first time.
Good post, and I think that the OP could certainly take some consolation from it...
The OP might be feeling some pressure to "make" the college years truly unique, and perhaps if he looked at them as being "ordinary" he might enjoy them more; this may be a simplistic answer to a problem that is more deep-seated, but perhaps it could be a start, and I hope that he is still undergoing some counseling for his problems..
I will agree, though, that life does improve as you get older. This may contradict what you've been led to believe, but there is a certain "freedom" that exists once the obligations of college have been fulfilled, and you're no longer beholden to someone else's expectations, and allowed to live the way you feel is best for you. Now this may defy logic, but often having and accepting some responsibilities may give your life more purpose, along with the knowledge that what you make of it is largely up to you, and there is some comfort in knowing that you have control over much of it..
You hear that all the time but for most of us the college years were not the best years. I think you tend to hear it either from those for whom they were the best (i.e the Jocks and Cheer leaders) or those who've forgotten what they were really like. Personally I'd say my best years were either during my 30s or will be those occuring after I semi-retire in a few years and will be able to work because I choose to.
Of course, life is always what we make of it and even the bad experiences can work together for ultimate good. It's just that we hate going through them.
Btw, things always tend to look better looking back at them than when we're going through them.
Agreed. The "college experience" Hollywood sells us is not what its like for everybody. If your college experience mirror's Asher Roth's - "I Love College" song, chances are you will be flunking out after a semester or two. If you are looking for something remotely similar to that, Greek life is probably for you.
I will agree, though, that life does improve as you get older. This may contradict what you've been led to believe, but there is a certain "freedom" that exists once the obligations of college have been fulfilled, and you're no longer beholden to someone else's expectations, and allowed to live the way you feel is best for you. Now this may defy logic, but often having and accepting some responsibilities may give your life more purpose, along with the knowledge that what you make of it is largely up to you, and there is some comfort in knowing that you have control over much of it..
In fact I'd say if you asked me at any given time in my life I'd say the best times are right then, as I've found as I age I have much more freedom or that many more goals accomplished. Perhaps there will be a point where that changes, maybe when physical frailty become an issue, who knows.
They say that these years, these college years, are supposed to be the best years of my life. Well, sadly, if that is true, I would rather be dead than to keep on existing.
I hate it when people say, "Oh you have your whole life ahead of you! You will never have more opportunities and freedom than you will in college. These are the BEST years of your life."
To be honest, these past seven/eight months have been horrible, including a serious suicidal attempt, twice being put in a hospital and a "safe place", and my whole world has just fallen apart. At this point, I'm only existing, not living, and my life is so unfulfilling and pointless.
Please, tell me, to all those who have gone to college and have lived quite longer than me (I've been around for awhile: 19 years) and had that "traditional" college going experience: was college the best years of your life? If not, do you find your post-grad life to be a happier, more fulfilling time for you?
Thanks in advance!
It sounds to me like you would be unhappy wherever you were.
What is it, exactly, that is making you so miserable? What do you want?
Well this post caught my eye, because it was both the best and worst.
Undergrad was the absolute happiest time in my life. 5 years of productivity, well liked,admired , happy, happy, joy with of course plenty of stress and moments of angst.
Grad school, at a new university was sheer hell. I became so depressed I barely wanted to go on living because I was shunned and treated like a social leper. Same person and abilities, but misery changed my personality and confidence in a matter of months. I felt compelled to finish the year and refused medication which I now regret.
From the best years of my life to the worst. Hang in there, but get out or medicate if its soul crushing.
Please, tell me, to all those who have gone to college and have lived quite longer than me (I've been around for awhile: 19 years) and had that "traditional" college going experience: was college the best years of your life? If not, do you find your post-grad life to be a happier, more fulfilling time for you?
I had some amazing experiences in college. But it was also extremely stressful, which was less than pleasant but did force me to grow as a person.
My life now is much happier and more peaceful. I wouldn't call college the "best years of my life"...maybe some of the most important years in terms of forming who I am now, but not the best.
I had some amazing experiences in college. But it was also extremely stressful, which was less than pleasant but did force me to grow as a person.
My life now is much happier and more peaceful. I wouldn't call college the "best years of my life"...maybe some of the most important years in terms of forming who I am now, but not the best.
This assessment rings very, very true for me, also. My college experiences played a tremendous role in shaping my adult identity and priorities and values, but it was also a time of stress and struggle. My life is much more even-keel and much more enjoyable, now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
