The Best Years of My Life?

[MSchemist80]

College wasn't too bad. It was starting to at the end of grad school. My life since graduating has been steadily declining thanks to my poor choice to get a science degree.

[marie5v]

Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime

They say that these years, these college years, are supposed to be the best years of my life. Well, sadly, if that is true, I would rather be dead than to keep on existing.

I hate it when people say, "Oh you have your whole life ahead of you! You will never have more opportunities and freedom than you will in college. These are the BEST years of your life."

To be honest, these past seven/eight months have been horrible, including a serious suicidal attempt, twice being put in a hospital and a "safe place", and my whole world has just fallen apart. At this point, I'm only existing, not living, and my life is so unfulfilling and pointless.

Please, tell me, to all those who have gone to college and have lived quite longer than me (I've been around for awhile: 19 years) and had that "traditional" college going experience: was college the best years of your life? If not, do you find your post-grad life to be a happier, more fulfilling time for you?

Thanks in advance!

No, I spent the first year of college bored, the second and third completely suicidal, and the fourth marginally better than the third. The year after college also sucked, then things finally picked up the year after that and have been pretty good since then.

[harhar]

My college years were some of the best times of my life.

I didn't party (too hard), I didn't sleep around with a lot of women. (Had a couple of distracting relationships though).

I loved college because I was young, didn't have any real cares or responsibilities and made some good friends while I was there. Plus I loved the college environment and I love learning.

[TiltheEndofTime]

Originally Posted by K-Luv

But, before I get to your question, your second paragraph really jumps out (more so than the third). The whole "I hate it when people say...." line infers that what-ever you are experiencing you believe is unique to only you, and that, since it is only unique to you, no-one on Earth could ever possibly understand what you are going through. Perhaps I am off-base here, but generally when people "don't want to here it", what they are really saying is that what they want to here are words that they want to hear; they want advice that is catered to their specific situation.

I don't think it is. I know a lot of people are experiencing rough times in college and hate being told that their college years are to be considered their golden years. It has nothing to do with wanting to hear certain advice, but rather being sick of people saying the same thing over and over again to the point that it has become a cliche.

A lot of students had a real bad time in high school, and believed things would improve in college. Perhaps they were teased, or bullied, for being homosexual, poor, "dumb", not "white", etc., etc., and thought once they left that environment, and entered the perceived "liberal" college atmosphere, that things would really turn around for them. Sadly, for many, college is just a repeat of high school. Personally, I hated high school, and had a better time in college. Ironically, now that I am in late 30s (and in college for the second time), I look back at my high school years as some really good times. However, those good times had nothing to do with high school.

High school does seem to be a repeat for some. As some people have said (not in this particular thread), college has become an extension of high school. You're just expected to go even if you don't know what you want to do with the rest of your life.

And just like high school, my college years (the first time) were pretty good, but they also had nothing to do with college. I have never lived in a dorm, nor never really had school spirit. While I enjoyed my courses, for the most part I was only on campus to go to class. If I didn't have class, or need to be on campus (dealing with enrollment, fine aid, the bookstore, etc.), I stayed away. My group of friends had nothing to do with my college (although a few did go to my school), and I never went to "college parties", even though I definitely had that stereotypical college experience.

I guess you're referring to your college age years, not necessarily college itself. In my opinion, they go hand and hand for many people, especially the middle class kids, such as myself, who are expected to go to college straight after graduating high school.

As I progress in age, and look back on my life, I find that my late 20s were really good, and so far, my 30s as well. If I had to choose, I would say that my early 30s were the best years of my life, but I suspect that when I near 50, I might look back on my 40s as the best.

To think I've got another 10 or so years before I hit thirty.

I agree with the comment that those who hold college as the "best years of their lives" tend to be those who really lived the "college lifestyle", but, I will add, that college is typically the first, and sadly the last, time that most people will "live" like that. After college, with careers, and family, and children, many miss those carefree days and tend to believe that they were the best years because those where the (last) years they were able to drink when-ever they wanted, hang out with who ever they wanted, skip school when they wanted, etc. Essentially, their only "responsibility" was to somehow manage to graduate, and even that can be done half-assed at even the best schools (within reason).

I find those who lived college years as "care free" are the ones who never had any responsibilities or/and were spoiled by their parents. Most of the college kids I know, the mature ones that is, are working jobs and are contributing to their education financially. I've worked throughout my college years and I can honestly say the only "care free" days where I had no responsibility are the days of junior high and my first couple of years of high school.

The non-care free kids are the ones who are stressing out about getting good grades, scoring high on the GREs, finances, etc. The care-free kids, on the other hand, tend to have a lax attitude towards college, like it was all fun and games.

Not trying to make generalizations, but those are my observations.

Ironically, with all the responsibility and mundane daily routines of adult life, I find that I actually have more free time, more time to do things I enjoy, and ultimately, am having more fun and enjoyment in life now that I am older vs. back when I was a young buck going through college the first time.

People think I'm weird for looking forward to going into the work force (full-time) and having kids. I feel that people who can take care of themselves financially have more freedom than the poor college kids.

[TiltheEndofTime]

Originally Posted by Frostnip

I had some amazing experiences in college. But it was also extremely stressful, which was less than pleasant but did force me to grow as a person.

My life now is much happier and more peaceful. I wouldn't call college the "best years of my life"...maybe some of the most important years in terms of forming who I am now, but not the best.

I have found the college years to be extremely stressful. There is nothing peaceful about worrying about how one will pay for 20k/yr for school, worrying if one got into this program or that, if one will be able to find a job after graduation and pay off those debts.

And then there are some students who don't seem to have a sense of urgency at all. I know of one individual who is graduating this year. She will be a Women's Studies major, no post-grad job prospects and she has over 40k in debt, yet she is so...chill. Wish I could be like that.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by marie5v

No, I spent the first year of college bored, the second and third completely suicidal, and the fourth marginally better than the third. The year after college also sucked, then things finally picked up the year after that and have been pretty good since then.

Here's the Cliffs Notes version of my four years of undergrad:

Year one - started out sucky - homesick, lonely, bad roommate/floormates. Debated transferring to a school not so far from home/my support network, but was too stubborn to give up, even though unhappy. Felt self-induced pressure to make straight As, and wasn't sure if it would be as easy as high school, so studied constantly. Very little social life. Got an opportunity to do a partial term abroad, and took it, and decided if I still felt like I hated where I was when I got back, I'd address it then. Study abroad made all the difference...on my own in a foreign country, did fine, loved it, and made school seem like small potatoes when I got back. Much needed injection of self-confidence.

Year two - Pretty good. Learned after the first year that I could loosen up on the studying and still get great grades, so relaxed a little and made more friends. Still more studious than social, but found better balance. Picked a major that I was really into, and auditioned into a prestigious performance ensemble that I stayed in the next three years, which was fantastic. Developed and harbored an angsty, mostly unrequited crush that caused a bit of drama, and residual feelings never really faded the rest of my schooling.

Year three - The best year. Worked as an RA, got my own room as a perk of that, hit my stride academically and made some of the best friends I ever made in all of my schooling, friends I still have. Best year ever for school/social life balance. Loved it.

Year four - Back to sucky. First semester was all about getting ready to student teach, and classes were not hard, but were boring, nitpicky, overscheduled, and numerous. My best friends were all either graduated or studying abroad, I was living with people I knew peripherally and didn't really bond with, and my music ensemble was the main thing that kept me sane. Second semester was my student teaching, which was a terrible experience, and turned me off the profession for a good decade. I nearly had a nervous breakdown, and couldn't wait for graduation to come.

Everything post my senior year of college has been a vast improvement upon that last year.