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If he wants to spend his money supporting other people and buying brand new cars, AKA "living beyond his means" that is completely his business but when you then claim that he is broke and can't afford to pay off his debt promptly, that is complete and utter BS. He is CHOOSING not to pay off his debt in a fast manner. Again his choice, but not one remotely in need of a pity party.
I agree, you are making excuses for him not to pay off his loans. If my child set himself up like that right out of college he would have had some serious discussions with his parents about being responsible with his money. Living in a high cost of living area on a low salary like that without taking on roommates and buying a new car (a KIA for $400/month?????) is just irresponsible.
If you got a college education while working full-time, that's awesome. Very few people can accomplish that. Can you explain in more detail how your week was broken down?
X hours of classroom instruction (debating & lecture).
X hours of reading textbooks and publishing (preparation for debate and lecture).
X hours of interfacing with professors and research students outside of the classroom (the real college level learning - research, publishing papers, debating at conferences, etc.).
X hours of sleep
etc.
The thing is... everyone looks at this so statically, as though every week were the same and as though you can't juggle priorities. I had constants 15 hours lecture, 32-40 hours of work. I would interface with professors where they would meet me on my time, because they understood that I had to work to pay rent. I had honors programs symposiums I had to do throughout the semester, but it was only 3 and they were an hour and I could choose which ones coordinated with my schedule.
Some weeks, I would take time out of X and allot it to another X depending on what my demands were that week. During midterms or finals week, I tried to work 12 hour days on Saturday/Sunday to situate my time better.
It's not an EASY thing to do, but when you have bills to pay, you do what you have to and it's just a situation of "where can I allot my time to this week?"
It doesn't matter. It is almost always less expensive to split a 2BR place than it is for one person to rent a 1BR place.
I have to agree with this. My daughter hasn't lived alone since she lived at home! She's lived in two of the most expensive city's in the US - NYC and now Washington, DC. Because of her student loans from her grad school and a not so hot paying job, about the same salary as your son city guy, she lives extremely frugally with no car in a tiny apartment with a roommate. While in grad school she had work study and worked two other part time jobs. She has nowhere near the debt mentioned in the OP but was fully aware of what the future held.
I've said this before, but I'll say it again. The onus of the big debt problem should be shared between the students and their parents. When it was time for our kids to decide on a college we looked into the costs of everything, including potential loans. Students can only take out so much in loans with their own signature, so if a parent is co-signing stupid high loans than they are both to blame.
However, once they finish undergrad, it's solely the young adults responsibility to know how smart a post grad path will be. We had nothing to do with our daughters post grad search or any of the financial stuff. I would guess that's where most people rack up debt.
If you got a college education while working full-time, that's awesome. Very few people can accomplish that. Can you explain in more detail how your week was broken down?
X hours of classroom instruction (debating & lecture).
X hours of reading textbooks and publishing (preparation for debate and lecture).
X hours of interfacing with professors and research students outside of the classroom (the real college level learning - research, publishing papers, debating at conferences, etc.).
X hours of sleep
etc.
This is weird. Where did you go to school? I went to a excellent school and almost never saw a professor in person, nor did any publishing. I've also taught undergrads for many years and maybe one or two of a thousand published something. They also never come to see me outside of 5 minutes after class. The only time required is homework time and class time, and most teachers give no more than a couple of hours of homework per class (I give less than one hour).
This is weird. Where did you go to school? I went to a excellent school and almost never saw a professor in person, nor did any publishing. I've also taught undergrads for many years and maybe one or two of a thousand published something. They also never come to see me outside of 5 minutes after class. The only time required is homework time and class time, and most teachers give no more than a couple of hours of homework per class (I give less than one hour).
He went to Princeton.
My daughter goes to Rutgers, and she works with the profs/phds, one on one, in her department all the time. She is required to through seminar classes and now works for them as a sophomore. She has 3 publications, two first authors, due to this relationship with the profs. There are maybe 10 or 20 kids in her specific degree and year, and most of them are working one on one with people in the department.
It isn't for credits specifically but it is expected of anyone in that program none the less. I will readily admit having that many published papers as a sophomore is unusual, but reality is she writes well, has research experience and is both a woman and a minority. The post-docs actually chase her around to write with. Regardless, there is a push to have all undergrads published before they graduate.
It cost me $30k over 4 years for my accounting degree and I was able to graduate with no debt by working my way through school. Got a nice job to boot. I'm sorry, but I don't get people who come out of college with crushing debt. When I think of someone graduating with $100k in debt, the person I have in mind is the art or theater type living in lala land who goes to the expensive, private "art school" for an ego trip. Then after graduating and reality hits that you are only qualified to work at McDonald's while trying to service a mountain of debt, the tears start running. I have no sympathy.
I don't get people who spend 4 years of their life to become Accountants
This is weird. Where did you go to school? I went to a excellent school and almost never saw a professor in person, nor did any publishing. I've also taught undergrads for many years and maybe one or two of a thousand published something. They also never come to see me outside of 5 minutes after class. The only time required is homework time and class time, and most teachers give no more than a couple of hours of homework per class (I give less than one hour).
It's very clear there's a definite split in the kind of methods used in schools.
If I had my 'druthers, I'd have rather gotten what NJBest got and thinks is normal with the co-publishing and research (heck, maybe it's normal now, it sure wasn't back then), but that's not the world I lived in.
I went to a reasonably solid school I could both get into and afford, and what you're describing is much more what my college experience looked like. I'm still proud of my degree and I busted my rear to get it.
If I could go back, I'd do it differently, but that boat has long since sailed.
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