[Stylo]

Originally Posted by DandJ

A cool, hip, expensive place won't impress her. Maybe she'll be impressed by the place, but it won't make her like YOU any better. I'm not saying that you should bring her to McDonald's, but sometimes a picnic (that you prepared) on the beach or just a trip to an ice cream place is better than a hoity-toity "I don't know which fork to use!" kind of place.

I don't think this is true of the twentysomethings in CT now. Especially ones with "higher standards". Every girl I've dated would love to be treated to a really nice restaurant.

[DawnMTL]

Originally Posted by mkiv808

I don't think this is true of the twentysomethings in CT now. Especially ones with "higher standards". Every girl I've dated would love to be treated to a really nice restaurant.

I'm not saying that it's not nice; I'm just saying that being treated nicely is more impressive than being treated to a nice restaurant.

Maybe those "higher standard" girls don't yet know what's important yet. They'll learn. Funny trumps money. I'm not saying that I'd marry someone ****-poor; I'm just saying that... well, you know what I'm saying.

[Tetto]

Originally Posted by DandJ

Can girls respond to this thread? Eh, I will anyway.

I'm a VERY Northern girl. Originally from Montreal, six years in CT, now in MA.

I don't think North, South, East, or West makes a difference. Just like with any "type" of people (be it by location, color, religion, etc...), you'll always have a few bad apples among a whole slew of fabulous ones.

As far as impressing her, though, I've got to tell you something. This is coming from a 46-year old woman who has had her share of life experiences.

A cool, hip, expensive place won't impress her. Maybe she'll be impressed by the place, but it won't make her like YOU any better. I'm not saying that you should bring her to McDonald's, but sometimes a picnic (that you prepared) on the beach or just a trip to an ice cream place is better than a hoity-toity "I don't know which fork to use!" kind of place.

Be nice... but not sickeningly so.
Be charming... but not smarmy.
Be funny... we love to laugh.
Be a gentleman... but not prim and prissy.
Be true to who you are. There's nothing like, months down the road, learning how the REAL guy is and wondering how he was able to put on that act for so long.

Have fun!

That is excellent advice! It seems the younger you are the more you think that "flash" will impress. As we age (45 here...) a nice ride on the motorcycle down to the beach and dinner should suffice!

[nep321]

Thank God I'm gay as well lol. Meeting other guys from the internet is a breeze, without the cost of clubbing and drinking, etc.

[JViello]

Originally Posted by DandJ

Can girls respond to this thread? Eh, I will anyway.

I'm a VERY Northern girl. Originally from Montreal, six years in CT, now in MA.

I don't think North, South, East, or West makes a difference. Just like with any "type" of people (be it by location, color, religion, etc...), you'll always have a few bad apples among a whole slew of fabulous ones.

As far as impressing her, though, I've got to tell you something. This is coming from a 46-year old woman who has had her share of life experiences.

A cool, hip, expensive place won't impress her. Maybe she'll be impressed by the place, but it won't make her like YOU any better. I'm not saying that you should bring her to McDonald's, but sometimes a picnic (that you prepared) on the beach or just a trip to an ice cream place is better than a hoity-toity "I don't know which fork to use!" kind of place.

Be nice... but not sickeningly so.
Be charming... but not smarmy.
Be funny... we love to laugh.
Be a gentleman... but not prim and prissy.
Be true to who you are. There's nothing like, months down the road, learning how the REAL guy is and wondering how he was able to put on that act for so long.

Have fun!

ITA.

I was always that "My God, he's soooooo nice" polite, kind of guys with a baby face who put charm, wit and details ahead of the glitz and show off. Many of my fist pumping friends never got it, but I was not the one rolling dude heavy on the weekends.

I remember one first date, we went to Abbotts on the dock and just chatted and whatnot, then just put the top down (I've always had nice cars, it's a hobby) and cruised in the twilight along the shorline chatting stopping at odd spots for ice cream or whatever, and eventually parked over in Watch Hill just looking at the stars with the waves crashing and some nice music in the background. No pressure, just good conversation, beautiful surroundings on a nice warm Summer evening.

We went out again, and again, and again.

I do also remember dating this one girl who just kind wanted to get it on...I think I sent her for a loop when I said "yea sure, but you mind if we hang out for a bit and get to know each other?" I couldn't get her to leave. LOL

What's that old joke? "Two bulls on a hill overlooking the cows in the pasture. The young bull says to the older bull 'lets run down there and mate with one of those cows'. The older bull responded 'Lets walk down and mate with them all'" LOL

Originally Posted by DandJ

Maybe those "higher standard" girls don't yet know what's important yet. They'll learn. Funny trumps money. I'm not saying that I'd marry someone ****-poor; I'm just saying that... well, you know what I'm saying.

LOL I just spit my water out. You're funny.

[DawnMTL]

Originally Posted by JViello

ITA.

I was always that "My God, he's soooooo nice" polite, kind of guys with a baby face who put charm, wit and details ahead of the glitz and show off. Many of my fist pumping friends never got it, but I was not the one rolling dude heavy on the weekends.

I remember one first date, we went to Abbotts on the dock and just chatted and whatnot, then just put the top down (I've always had nice cars, it's a hobby) and cruised in the twilight along the shorline chatting stopping at odd spots for ice cream or whatever, and eventually parked over in Watch Hill just looking at the stars with the waves crashing and some nice music in the background. No pressure, just good conversation, beautiful surroundings on a nice warm Summer evening.

We went out again, and again, and again.

I do also remember dating this one girl who just kind wanted to get it on...I think I sent her for a loop when I said "yea sure, but you mind if we hang out for a bit and get to know each other?" I couldn't get her to leave. LOL

What's that old joke? "Two bulls on a hill overlooking the cows in the pasture. The young bull says to the older bull 'lets run down there and mate with one of those cows'. The older bull responded 'Lets walk down and mate with them all'" LOL



LOL I just spit my water out. You're funny.

Really, guys amaze me sometimes. You have to wonder why any guy would be interested in a girl who is only interested in the flash and dollar signs. Granted, you might not realize that's her only interest right away, but it makes itself crystal clear pretty early on. What guy WANTS a girl like that? The pressure to bring home the bacon (or Kobi beef or sushi) is unfair and unwarranted.

If a girl is only interested in what she can get from you, and if you're OK with that, then you deserve each other. Otherwise, you owe it to yourself to find someone who likes/loves you for YOU, not for the size of your... wallet.

And JV, I knew that you weren't *that* type of guy.

[pulpfiction]

Dating

Just got out of a 3 year relationship myself. To make matters worse, we were living together

I don't really get the need to jump right back into the dating pool. Not only is it incredibly frustrating (especially so with online dating sites), but it really does take some time on your own to sort things out, and get back to being yourself.

What to do in the mean time? I've found it pretty difficult to get to know people around here on a friendship level; most people seem to stick with their established cliques, and stray very little.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by pulpfiction

Dating

Just got out of a 3 year relationship myself. To make matters worse, we were living together

I don't really get the need to jump right back into the dating pool. Not only is it incredibly frustrating (especially so with online dating sites), but it really does take some time on your own to sort things out, and get back to being yourself.

What to do in the mean time? I've found it pretty difficult to get to know people around here on a friendship level; most people seem to stick with their established cliques, and stray very little.

I have two options:

a) Bassanio

b) Be a belly buddha meditating under the bodhi tree

The choice is obvious

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Oh great, tomorrow night's date in NYC just got postponed. And I'm not sure why people in the grocery store are so frenzied with the hurricane thing.

[Yankeerose00]

You have to wonder why any guy would be interested in a girl who is only interested in the flash and dollar signs.

The superficiality goes both ways. Let's face it. Many times, guys chase after the "hot" girls. A girl can be the biggest snotty, selfish, nasty B----, but if she looks like Megan Fox, she'll have guys around the block for her. How many times, there's a sweet and nice girl who would be a wonderful girlfriend or wife, but guys over look her because she's average to plain looking.

I know with a lot of my single friends, internet dating can be very superficial. Guys are looking for the hottest women and women are looking for the money.
Another thing I've noticed, guys go after 20 something girls no matter their age. They can be 30, 40, 50 whatever. They go after younger women. Not all men of course, but many of them do. My single friends in their 40s are competing with 20 and 30 years olds for men.

Not that all women in their 20's are gold diggers, but if a guy is in his 40s, he's got to be realistic that if he wants to play in the 20 something pool, they are going to expect him to have some coin. (Not that this is you Antlered. Just a comment about dating in general) When men complain about women being gold diggers I immediately wonder what kind of girls they are pursuing. Chase after pigs, and you'll wake up covered in mud! okay that was crass.

I don't know how old you are Antlered but I say find a woman your own age or even a few years older. You'll see a difference in what they expect.

I agree totally with DandJ said as you get older the beach and ice cream is a dream date! Absolutely. I HATE hoity toity restaurants and I'd actually be a little offended if a guy was getting flashy with his money and going overboard to try to impress. It would be a turn off.

But thank God I'm married and out of that dating pool. People these days have my sympathies. I have many single/divorced friends who swear that the internet has NOT made dating any better or easier! I can see what they are saying.