[LaMadden]

Originally Posted by AmyBergquist

Moved here (Hartford) from Virginia 4 years ago, but was raised in New England and lived outside of Boston prior to going to VA. I don't really notice too much of a difference from other New England states. People are reserved at first, but friendly once they get to know you. You just have to be willing to make somewhat of an effort to introduce yourself to people because I do see how some might find it "isolated." If you don't reach out to your neighbors, they won't necessarily reach out to you.

That is totally backwards. Manners says that they should welcome me. I am after all the new one. I have been friendly with waving and such as they drive by me.

[HeadedWest]

Originally Posted by Cruikshl

That is totally backwards. Manners says that they should welcome me. I am after all the new one. I have been friendly with waving and such as they drive by me.

Apparently that's not enough. I've been here in CT for most of a decade and I've mostly given up on making friends. What I have done is keep in closer contact with my friends from other places and times in my life. I just don't think I can break into anybody's social circle here. I am pretty certain that nobody on the road where I live socializes with any of their neighbors, so I don't necessarily think it's because of any major faux pas on my part.

I'm kind of waiting on retirement, at which point I'll head for friendlier territory.

[usmcfamily]

I grew up and went to college here then moved away for the past 20 years to various states including CA, FL, VA, and SC. I moved back a year ago with my husband and kids to FF Cnty. My family is close by as well as my best friends from college so I have not had to worry about making friends. I don't know how to answer your post without seeming offensive - I do love where I live - but a lot of the people here don't seem to realize there is a big world out there other than their small worlds. There is so much money here but I have never seen so many "unworldy" people. Its hard to explain - love my friends but wouldn't wanted to move here without them. Schools are good but overrated - our school district scores are very high but yet my middle schooler doesn't have a math book of his own - has to share - no money in budget! No gifted program either. Draw your own conclusions!

[Ourdreamhouse]

Originally Posted by Cruikshl

That is totally backwards. Manners says that they should welcome me. I am after all the new one.

Unfortunately for you, "manners" are local. In the SE, what you say may be true, but customs are different in New England. In the south, the assumption is that people want to engage with their neighbors. In CT and much of New England, the assumption is that people like their privacy. In other words, your neighbors have been waiting for YOU to indicate that you'd like to engage with them. If you'd made more of an effort, i'd bet that they would have responded. New Englanders are usually quite friendly, but it takes a little initiative on the part of the newcomer.

[MomOfToo]

I moved here from Westchester County in NY about 4.5years ago. We bought a condo Danbury and if it weren't for my neighbor-I don't know what I would have done. She was around my age and had two boys and I had one boy. We got along great and she showed me where everything was in town. She did eventually move a year later. But I did feel lonely. I missed home. When I was pregnant with my second child, I missed home even more (mind you it is only a 50min drive!) My husband and I decided we were going to move back to Westchester. Well I had my son and I have to say, the minute we hit the 3 year mark of living in CT-we just couldn't do it-move back that is. We decided that CT was a better place to live and raise a family. I also have another friend that I made here that said the same thing-3 years is what it takes to get used to where you live. I find CT to not be so friendly. All my friends are originally from NY. Something about NY'ers, we understand each other. We recently moved to New Fairfield and our neighbors couldn't be any more friendlier. One neighbor saw my husband working on the house before we moved in and she brought over watermelon and brownies for him. Our other neighbors came over and introduced themselves 1 week after we moved in-great people. My son starts school on Tuesday and I am really excited to see how things turn out. I love it here. But New Fairfield has alot of Ny'ers I guess because we are right on the NY border. So far I like the people in New Fairfield better than Danbury. Maybe your just not in the right town that is for you.

[LaMadden]

Originally Posted by Ourdreamhouse

Unfortunately for you, "manners" are local. In the SE, what you say may be true, but customs are different in New England. In the south, the assumption is that people want to engage with their neighbors. In CT and much of New England, the assumption is that people like their privacy. In other words, your neighbors have been waiting for YOU to indicate that you'd like to engage with them. If you'd made more of an effort, i'd bet that they would have responded. New Englanders are usually quite friendly, but it takes a little initiative on the part of the newcomer.

I grew up in the midwest on a farm no less ,not the south, and my mother taught me to make cookies or something to take to the new neighbor. So when someone moves in on my street I take wine and a plant or brownies for the kids. Try and read Miss Manners during the winter months, you might learn something

[ambarstone]

[quote=MomOfToo;5052836] Well I had my son and I have to say, the minute we hit the 3 year mark of living in CT-we just couldn't do it-move back that is. We decided that CT was a better place to live and raise a family. I also have another friend that I made here that said the same thing-3 years is what it takes to get used to where you live. quote]
_____
Oh my, three years??? I am just completing my first year in the town of Fairfield but I don't think I could survive here for another two.
....
To contribute to the OP's question: I, too moved here from Westchester county. Just a "next door" move but the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. So far failed miserably at adapting and making friends (very difficult around here for various reasons) so officially gave up. I am now sitting in a rocking chair, waiting for someone to do me the favor and buy my condo so I can move back home.

[pmeek2309]

Originally Posted by Cruikshl

I grew up in the midwest on a farm no less ,not the south, and my mother taught me to make cookies or something to take to the new neighbor. So when someone moves in on my street I take wine and a plant or brownies for the kids. Try and read Miss Manners during the winter months, you might learn something

Speaking of attitudes in CT...

[blakesq]

I moved here from Texas in 2003. I married a woman from Connecticut, so, things are going pretty good for my family. As far as culture shock, very little, Texas has long roads, where you can see 20 miles down the road, it seems, Connecticut is smaller, thats what i noticed the most. Not as brutally hot here, a lot more snow than in Texas. People are very similar, and once you get to know them, people are the same. Cheaper in Texas...but the weather is super hot, thats the tradeoff.

[LaMadden]

Originally Posted by pmeek2309

Speaking of attitudes in CT...

Don't you know...... they like the straight forward kind of talk here. No fake stuff. Sorry that sounded so harsh in the previous post. I guess I'm just stressed by the mess we've gotten into at this point on our lives. We've lived a lot of places and never have gotten into this kind of situation.