[seymourct]

Originally Posted by DandJ

I wonder, sometimes, if the reserve that some CT people have is basically....not knowing if YOU want to communicate. I've found that anyone that I talk with talks back... They typically don't initiate conversation (but that's OK, I do ) but once I start the conversation rolling, it's all good.

Bravoto you. Loud applause too. Finally, someone gets it!
Hey, canuckexpat and all you others new to CT ... quoted above is your textbook for CT Friendliness class; it isn't rocket science.

[DawnMTL]

Originally Posted by seymourct

Bravoto you. Loud applause too. Finally, someone gets it!
Hey, canuckexpat and all you others new to CT ... quoted above is your textbook for CT Friendliness class; it isn't rocket science.

LOL! Thanks!

[canuckexpat]

Originally Posted by seymourct

Bravoto you. Loud applause too. Finally, someone gets it!
Hey, canuckexpat and all you others new to CT ... quoted above is your textbook for CT Friendliness class; it isn't rocket science.

Trust me I am not shy either. I have done my share of trying to initiate a conversation but not always do they talk back. What am I supposed to say to someone when I take a walk in my condo complex, when a person goes by I say "hello" they don't even look you in the eye, let alone return the "hello". It is interesting that most people that have shown more friendly attitude have all been from outside of CT. I am sure there are nice and friendly people in CT but in a population of 3.5 million they seem hard to find.

[Rich Lee]

Originally Posted by canuckexpat

Trust me I am not shy either. I have done my share of trying to initiate a conversation but not always do they talk back. What am I supposed to say to someone when I take a walk in my condo complex, when a person goes by I say "hello" they don't even look you in the eye, let alone return the "hello"? It is interesting that most people that have shown more friendly attitude have all been from outside of Conn. I am sure there are nice and friendly people in Conn. but in a population of 3.5 million they seem hard to find.

You make a mental note of who they are so that you don't waste your time a second time. Chances are, they're not going to answer you, period.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by canuckexpat

Trust me I am not shy either. I have done my share of trying to initiate a conversation but not always do they talk back. What am I supposed to say to someone when I take a walk in my condo complex, when a person goes by I say "hello" they don't even look you in the eye, let alone return the "hello". It is interesting that most people that have shown more friendly attitude have all been from outside of CT. I am sure there are nice and friendly people in CT but in a population of 3.5 million they seem hard to find.

Ok, so I'm repeating myself here, but DON'T JUST SAY HI!!!!

Here's the thing... when you say "Hi" it begets "Hi" as the standard response and people keep on walking, they will assume that you are giving the standard required pleasantries but that you are not expecting a conversation... ONE WORD GREETINGS ARE JUST NOT how to start a conversation

Walk up to a neighbor and say "Hi I'm _____________________." or "Whew ~ it's never this cold/hot (whatever) ___________ where I used to live" or "Excuse me, but do you know where I can get the best local bread/cakes/pies (whatever) __________" things like that beget a conversation....so again do not just say "Hi"

[mnk716]

Moved to Marlborough from eastern Long Island in 2006. We love CT and happy with our choice of town. Moved due to job relo and got more house and land for the money. my family loves it. i work in hartford and after NYC/LI traffic RT 2 is not bad.

Schools are excellent. the elementary school just won top in CT.
we never want to leave.

[brasscitybluenwhite]

Originally Posted by seymourct

Ok, so I'm repeating myself here, but DON'T JUST SAY HI!!!!

Here's the thing... when you say "Hi" it begets "Hi" as the standard response and people keep on walking, they will assume that you are giving the standard required pleasantries but that you are not expecting a conversation... ONE WORD GREETINGS ARE JUST NOT how to start a conversation

Walk up to a neighbor and say "Hi I'm _____________________." or "Whew ~ it's never this cold/hot (whatever) ___________ where I used to live" or "Excuse me, but do you know where I can get the best local bread/cakes/pies (whatever) __________" things like that beget a conversation....so again do not just say "Hi"

Are you serious??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Its not the job of the newcomer to welcome people...I mean, if someone were to move to my neighborhood, I was taught to welcome them no matter what they look like. Is that how u teach your kids seymour? That when they move places, they have to use a format to begin a conversation?

I mean, I'm not that old but I know from the places that I've been, that if your neighbors aren't eager to meet u upon moving into the neighborhood, then there is an obvious social issue.

I'm glad you pointed out your welcome format because that's the problem with alot of neighborhoods in CT.

[Fairfielder]

I do feel for those out there who are struggling to make new friends here. I've lived here my whole life (in my 40's now) and even with the experiences of 5 generations of my family living in FFLD County it is STILL tough to get used to people not waving or saying hello. I'm not sure if people have become less friendly over the decades or if it's just my perspective that has changed.

However, I still initiate conversations when I'm in proximity of people (if the environment allows it) and most are very engaging in return. Granted, the conversations are usually superficial, but they are friendly. I enjoy my privacy as much as anyone and I always respect the privacy of others. I am also very cautious when it comes to getting to know someone. I never try to rush things.

The interesting thing I've found is that a brief, superficial conversation today generally leads to more conversations that progressively get deeper as I bump into these same people over time. We end up finding out things and people we have in common. I would say I have an incredible amount of aquaintances (and some friends) because I am very patient. Although I may "force" the initial contact, I let time run its course and see where the contacts take us.

Perhaps the common thread that runs through many of us here in CT (and probably most other states) is that people are generally cautious when getting to know a stranger because we hear so many stories of "strange" people. I know as many people who respect and crave privacy as I know those that are incredibly nosey. I try to use patience and some initiative to weed through and find those with whom I enjoy their company and I let the rest walk on by.

This has been "Deep Thoughts" with Jack Handy.

[Cambium]

When I moved here, neighbor across the street offer me some firewood, neighbor next me introduced herself to me, neighbor on otherside welcomed me to the neighborhood. It was very easy feeling welcome and making friends. CT has the best people living here but you have to make sure you're in the right spot.

As long as you smile and willing to say hello and be friendly yourself, you'll have no problem in CT.

If you come here from Ny with that attiude of being better, I guarantee you, you'll get a lot of ignores.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by brasscitybluenwhite

Are you serious??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Its not the job of the newcomer to welcome people...I mean, if someone were to move to my neighborhood, I was taught to welcome them no matter what they look like. Is that how u teach your kids seymour? That when they move places, they have to use a format to begin a conversation?

I mean, I'm not that old but I know from the places that I've been, that if your neighbors aren't eager to meet u upon moving into the neighborhood, then there is an obvious social issue.

I'm glad you pointed out your welcome format because that's the problem with alot of neighborhoods in CT.

So if someone walked by you and simply said "hi", you'd take that as a sign that they were eager to meet and have a lengthy conversation with you?? Almost always if you say hello, you'll be greeted with a smile and a hello in return. Most times surface smalltalk ensues; e.g. the weather, local happenings, etc. Still, that's not enough for many newcomers who are expecting to be my best friend after our first interaction. It takes time here to gain friendship, largely so we know that you're not some kook. Maybe that's why the "rude" CT suburbs are among the safest in the country? Just a thought.

I travel to Charlotte often and usually stay at a hotel that specializes in 14+ night stays. Every month when I go back, there are different people who have rooms around me, none obviously from the Charlotte area. Two women were from Chicago and Indianapolis two months ago, and two guys a few weeks ago were both from Tucson. Every last person I met from outside the Charlotte area finds the local 'prying' attitude to be obnoxious. Locals ask where you're from before even saying "hello, how are ya." Sometimes I'll continue the conversation, and 9 out of 10 times, the next question is "do you need a list of churches? What church do you belong to?" I don't have an issue with privacy but, frankly, that is nobody's business other than mine and my family's. Oh, and if it's not "what church do you belong to," it's "y'all are Yankees, why are you here?"

You call that being friendly? Can you IMAGINE how a southerner would feel if I said "oh, you're a southerner, why are you here?"

Sorry, but I agree with seymourct. I think most of the country would as well (outside of some annoyingly outgoing areas down south). If I'm grabbing my morning paper and the new neighbor across the street simply said "hi", I'd respond with a "hi, how are you, welcome to the neighborhood" and probably not go any further simply because my take is that they don't want to divulge too much personal information. It's a respect of privacy. Intrusion is not acceptable to most people here (or in much of the civilized nation) - notice how many people here rarely discuss things like politics and religion with even their longtime neighbors? I enjoy living around people who are considerate of my feelings.

Maybe I'll move to Seymour.