[brasscitybluenwhite]

if people are on this board complaining that connecticut isnt outgoing enough, then there is obviously a problem. Not to be rude, but don't u consider your attitude to be a bit on the reserved side?

[HeadedWest]

Originally Posted by seymourct

Ok, so I'm repeating myself here, but DON'T JUST SAY HI!!!!

Once again you put the onus on the newcomer to do all the work.

[HeadedWest]

Originally Posted by CTHere

As long as you smile and willing to say hello and be friendly yourself, you'll have no problem in CT.

I think the large number and variety of testimony to the contrary on this board belies this statement.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by brasscitybluenwhite

if people are on this board complaining that connecticut isnt outgoing enough, then there is obviously a problem. Not to be rude, but don't u consider your attitude to be a bit on the reserved side?

I wouldn't deny that many people in CT are reserved. I don't see why it's a bad thing since most people are friendly once you get to know them.

People from CT aren't much different than people in the rest of New England...and pretty much the Northeast (with a few exceptions). Just because some people here from the South and Midwest are having trouble with friendships doesn't necessarily mean the problem is because of the people here. JMO

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by HeadedWest

Once again you put the onus on the newcomer to do all the work.

With all due respect I don't think saying "I'm new here, we just moved from _______" is asking too much. If I were new to a neighborhood I wouldn't hesitate to introduce myself to my new neighbors out of respect.

I guess there is a bigger difference in culture than I thought. There are really areas where people who simply say "hi" would expect me to engage in a long, meaningful conversation? "Hi" to me doesn't mean much. It's what I would say if I passed someone in a hallway or walked into an elevator.

[HeadedWest]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

I guess there is a bigger difference in culture than I thought.

I believe that is what people have been saying here.

[seymourct]

Originally Posted by kidyankee764

Maybe I'll move to Seymour.

Cool if you do

Originally Posted by HeadedWest

Once again you put the onus on the newcomer to do all the work.

It is not my rule, it just is how it is for everyone, not just newcomers. If you want to make friends then you have to send out the signals that you are looking to start conversations.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

I grew up/got married/had kids in CT, but then moved to Florida for 4 years, and now we are back in CT. People in CT are not friendly, for the most part, compared with Florida, which is not even really the hospitable "South." I remember being put off at first when we arrived in Florida and people approached us and said "hi, I'm so and so, what church do you go to, where are you from, oh, what part of CT?" invited us over even though we were strangers, etc. Then I got used to it and loved it. Now that we're back in CT, it's not only the weather that is chilly... people are simply not as friendly and warm and outgoing here.

Not that I didn't know what I was getting into, mind you... I already KNEW it logically, but it's difficult to readjust to the attitude of "keep to yourself" after being in a friendlier place.

[HeadedWest]

Originally Posted by seymourct

It is not my rule, it just is how it is for everyone, not just newcomers. If you want to make friends then you have to send out the signals that you are looking to start conversations.

Well, actually, it is your rule. It is how you operate. It's not exactly a law of nature.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by HeadedWest

Well, actually, it is your rule. It is how you operate. It's not exactly a law of nature.

If "you" refers to the 3+ million people who live in CT, then I completely disagree. CT is the kind of place where each town is unique from the next. In many areas you can actually tell where one town line ends and the next begins. The same can be said for the people as well - CT is the furthest thing from being a homogeneous state. People's actions/personalities in Newtown will be different than the personalities you'll encounter in Danbury (down the road), Oxford (next door) and any other town. I'm not sure why this is -- maybe because CT is so economically diverse. It's unfair (and incredibly inaccurate) to claim that everyone in this state is the same way.

So basically it is a law of nature. Ever hear of being a product of your environment?

I think what happens often is that people who come here from Southern and Midwestern states have this thought that everyone here is going to be stuck-up, snobby elitists so it's like they almost try to be mean first. I used to work in a hotel and wait tables during college, so I met plenty of out of town people. Most (no exaggeration) were incredibly demanding, downright nasty at times and were very hard to please. Why they act this way, I don't know. I'm inclined to say it's almost as if they have an inferiority complex. Another possibility is the same way that pathological liars can trick themselves into believing their lies, when newbies come to CT with the incorrect notion that all people are a certain way, they believe it no matter what. I've never heard anyone from CA, Chicago, DC or basically anywhere outside of the South/some Midwest complain about the people here. That makes me recognize the fact that the problem doesn't stem from us.

Headedwest and others - I honestly would be interested to know what you expect of us?