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I asked for how you felt. You had to go a different way. Fine, so be it. This isn't a news channel exploiting a story. This is the direct result of parents not being parents. My question was "what do you think about it?"
Shocked, saddened, beyond feeling - what is with these girls? Why so MEAN? The hate, the utter disregard, the lack of feeling....that is what bothers me.
I heard in South Korea no more than three years ago, that a law was passed that parents of bullies will be charged if a suicide or any kind of tragedy occurred. I support that, some children are truly garbage, not all kids are "good" people.
These girls should be charged, and made an example of.
Not a parent, but a college student who was a victim of bullying. I never told my parents what happened, and I slipped into a deep depression. I still have paranoid thoughts that people are talking about me. It was a group of 3 boys and 2 girls who would always say sexually suggestive things to me. I ate to make myself feel better.
Anyways, my brother told my parents about a bullying incident, and my mom marched up to the school and said, "If my son harms himself because of what these kids are doing, expect to see me court." She feels like parents of bullying victims should use the law. Charge them with harassment and emotional distress. God forbid the child commits suicide, file a wrongful death lawsuit.
This bullying issue is nothing to be played with. From the time your child reports it to you, GO TO POLICE because the schools aren't doing anything. Whatever happened to expulsion?
I'm a little old school on this subject. I think we have swung the pendulum too far one way.
A bully used to be handled with a punch to the face. That usually stopped it. We got away from that completely and now we have suicides and kids shooting up schools and such.
As a society we are doing something very wrong.
I'm not saying to teach kids to simply go around beating other kids. If someone is bothering you that bad that it stirs up these intense feelings, then they asked for it. Bet they think twice before bullying again.
When are we going to start teaching our kids to PROTECT THEMSELVES. Buy tech with filters. Unfriend bullies. Grow up with real self esteem that cannot and will not believe this BS.
It is too easy to blame bullying. But you cannot stop dysfunctional families. There are MANY victims in this sad story.
I'm a little old school on this subject. I think we have swung the pendulum too far one way.
A bully used to be handled with a punch to the face. That usually stopped it. We got away from that completely and now we have suicides and kids shooting up schools and such.
As a society we are doing something very wrong.
I'm not saying to teach kids to simply go around beating other kids. If someone is bothering you that bad that it stirs up these intense feelings, then they asked for it. Bet they think twice before bullying again.
Great- just what we need. "He made me do it" kind of attitude is not going to solve anything.
I'm a little old school on this subject. I think we have swung the pendulum too far one way.
A bully used to be handled with a punch to the face. That usually stopped it. We got away from that completely and now we have suicides and kids shooting up schools and such.
As a society we are doing something very wrong.
I'm not saying to teach kids to simply go around beating other kids. If someone is bothering you that bad that it stirs up these intense feelings, then they asked for it. Bet they think twice before bullying again.
I am "old school", too. Perhaps I am reductionist, but here it goes: children, today, have the ability to communicate instantly. They can type something in an WHAM that message gets sent. I don't think they understand the magnitude of writing, "...go kill yourself..." until the end result is reached.
Unfortunately, today, parents are working their asses off just to feed, clothe, and keep a roof over a child's head. There is a lack of supervision AND a lack of wanting to hold a child accountable. Keep in mind, the technology is too far ahead of their development.
My children don't have the latest phone, they have a Tracfone. My son did not get his own personal, hand held, computer until he graduated.
My daughter it will be the same.
Children cannot handle this instant crap and understand the consequences.
Bullying is nothing new. Refer to Judy Blume's "Blubber".
How much further do kids have to go before parents as a whole start pushing back and realizing that they are at fault for this?
The CNN article states:
"The intense bullying that authorities say led to Rebecca's suicide stemmed from a dispute between her and a former classmate over a boy they had both dated, police said Tuesday."
This is not new. Kids bullying each other over members of the opposite sex has been going on since there have been high schools. The outcome is sad but lets not pretend that this is some new thing that just started with the advent of the internet.
As I see it, there are only two differences between bullying in the past and bullying now. First, we all know about this stuff now, thanks to the internet. I'm sure it happened in the past also - we just weren't aware of it. Also, it's harder to escape bullies. That's what happened to Rebecca Sedwick - her parents took her out of the school, which would have been enough in the past. I know, because what happened to her happened to me, but it ended when I left the school. The bullies had no way to follow me. I did have to hide from them sometimes (they lived in my neighborhood), and stay inside my house a lot, but as long as I could physically avoid them then they couldn't really do anything to me anymore. But she couldn't escape, and I can imagine how utterly hopeless her situation felt thanks to the internet, which literally follows you everywhere, all the time. Thank god it wasn't around when I was her age, or I might have jumped from a tower too. Just a quick example to show my point - it's been over 30 years since I saw any of the bullies from my past, but I recently learned that one had moved to a town near where I live now and is active in the school district there. Although it was a town my husband and I had considered moving to because of the good schools (they are the best in my area), I immediately knew I'd never move there just because I couldn't stand the thought of seeing that woman (or her children) at my child's school. In fact, it gave me a little panic attack just to know that she is living within driving distance of me, and that I could possibly run into her at the mall or something.
And that's one really disturbing part of this - the bullies who tormented me to the point of near suicide are now all fine, upstanding citizens with strong ties to churches and communities. One works with sick children, another with autistic kids, and then there is PTA super-mom mentioned above. And I am still terrified of all of them and full of absolute bitterness and hatred toward them. I wonder if they even realize that they were once the same sick, near-felonious kids that we see in the paper today.
But back to the newspaper story - on the other hand, today there is also support on the internet, and it's a shame R. Sedwick didn't manage to find it in time. Some bullying victims have shamed bullies by posting their antics for all to see, and in return they have gotten a lot of support from the community and as a result, schools and parents have been forced to take action. I suspect in the future that could become one way for bullies to use the power of the internet to fight back. It can work both ways, after all.
I'll bite. I was in a small public elementary school from almost first grade and the entire grade was under 100 easily. Through the 4 years of basically "growing" up with the same parents/kids. (about 90 % stayed) It was interesting seeing the kids evolve and what type of parents they typically had. The five kids that turned into "bullies" and I do mean true mean kids type in which you can see how they love to stir the pot, kick up the drama and be incredibly cruel to their peers.
Out of the five sets of parents, only one of them were slightly bullyish themselves. Specifically the mother. The father was a mild and generous man. The other four sets of parents were regular people that were clueless and believed everything their kids told them. Every time they left that principal's office and called me to complain about the PRINCIPAL daring to "think" their precious could possibly be capable of uttering a mean word etc. Or the teacher hated their kids and misunderstood. Their kids told them what really happened and it was blown out of proportions.
And I do mean truly clueless. And it bewildered them too as they are kind and mild people with a vibrant child and not quite sure what to do or think that their child is capable of that since they don't tolerate or see it at home.
I am not saying ALL parents are like this, but I do give a benefit of the doubt to the parents sometimes in bullying cases. I think however that after the second visit to the school in response to something their child did, they need to suck it up and DO something. But I don't always blame the parents nor do I automatically think it's a learned behaviour.
Oh and about 70 percent of the parents do not supervise any of their kids online activity till too late. They don't even know about kik messenger or FM spring or any of those. In fact I spoke to a mom last week and she said about her 8th grader, "Oh yes she went on her little tablet and somehow got a hold of so and your kid for the party this weekend..." I knew it was on instagram so I said instagram. She was like what's that? So that article? I hope it's a wake up call for other parents to start educating themselves on what and where their kids are going online. Just because they are in the house doesn't mean they are actually "home". They need to treat the online stuff as if they are going out of the house since in one way they are.
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