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That post was directed at the people saying "it's only a job like any other, so why should I thank them?" As you can probably tell from my other posts, I'm not advocating the thank you's, either, regardless of someone having seen combat or not. But the point remains that it's NOT "just a job like any other." I guess we'll have to agree to disagree about that, though.
Of course, this is not POC where folks fight each other over topics they have no control over. (looks like it sometimes)
As someone mentioned regarding the use of Sorry for Your Loss to the bereaved it is one of those sentiments which has been so overplayed it smacks of hypocrisy.
[quote=Rainbow Demon;38543435][quote=KathrynAragon;38543345]I guess your grandfather isn't any more special or above anyone else either. OK.
Quote:
You guess wrong. He was damn special to me and he would have told this guy to find some respect for the uniform he wore.
It's sad that such a soldier gets ANY accolades when there are men/women who served/were injured and families who lost loved ones who have real issues that make his WHINING LIKE A CHILD look like a cakewalk.
I was being facetious. Of course your grandfather was special to you. And of course I understand what you're saying about your grandfather's probable reaction to the soldier who was complaining.
That being said - you are contradicting yourself, though I suspect you're having trouble expressing something and it's coming out bass ackwards. Here's the deal as I see it - any military personnel who have put their lives on the line for their country have earned my respect and appreciation. That being said, especially considering my son, for example, who saw LOTS of combat duty, was injured several times and who held his platoon leader in his arms as the young man died, I understand how some military personnel feel awkward when they are showered with accolades and adoration, and, frankly, what may sound like an empty phrase - over and over again. My son feels GUILTY about surviving when his platoon leader didn't - he doesn't like hearing "thank you for your service" over and over again when he feels like he didn't do enough (illogical thinking but it's just his gut feeling). To be honest, he HATES hearing "Thank you for your service" over and over again - not because it irritates him but because he wishes he could have done more and every time he hears it, his heart contracts thinking about his fellow soldiers who came home in a body bag.
I am the mother of two combat veterans, my brother is a combat veteran, and my father is too, and even I think we go a little overboard sometimes but hey - that's just me. Like I said, I look for other ways to express my gratitude because I understand why some combat veterans feel uncomfortable with all the attention.
I think it's also a matter of how one is "supposed" to respond. "You're welcome"? Smarmy. "Oh, sure, it's nothing." Trivializing. :Glad to do it?" No way. Staring at them blankly, or mumbling something, etc. is rude. "Thank YOU for your support!" seems to be what most people want to hear. So by them thanking you, and you thanking them, it's equal? I don't know. What IS the proper response to that?
Bingo! This is EXACTLY what my combat veteran kids and their spouses have told me. It's an awkward moment for them - every time. They really dislike it - because no matter what they say, it feels small and silly.
What they WANT to say, no one wants to hear - "Yeah, it was the worst time of my life and I lost some really good friends - hey, wanna know something interesting? I have no fingerprints because I burned them off trying to get the door to the jeep open when my platoon leader's jeep got struck by a missile - but it was wasted effort anyway because when I did finally get the door open I realized most of his head was gone and he died in my arms, and I've always felt like the bottom half of his head was trying to tell me something because his lips were still moving. Oh - am I upsetting you? Yeah...it sucked for me too and now he comes and sits in my room sometimes in my dreams and asks me what I've done to deserve living while he's dead and in the grave. But hey - you're welcome! Glad to do it! It was nothing! Thank YOU for your support!"
I recall watching the well regarded even acclaimed documentary World at War and a paralyzed U.S. veteran was explaining his post-war rehabilitation. He recalled how his Dr. looked at him one day and said "You know where you will find sympathy son? In the dictionary between **** and syphilis."
Bingo! This is EXACTLY what my combat veteran kids and their spouses have told me. It's an awkward moment for them - every time. They really dislike it - because no matter what they say, it feels small and silly.
What they WANT to say, no one wants to hear - "Yeah, it was the worst time of my life and I lost some really good friends - hey, wanna know something interesting? I have no fingerprints because I burned them off trying to get the door to the jeep open when my platoon leader's jeep got struck by a missile - but it was wasted effort anyway because when I did finally get the door open I realized most of his head was gone and he died in my arms, and I've always felt like the bottom half of his head was trying to tell me something because his lips were still moving. Oh - am I upsetting you? Yeah...it sucked for me too and now he comes and sits in my room sometimes in my dreams and asks me what I've done to deserve living while he's dead and in the grave. But hey - you're welcome! Glad to do it! It was nothing! Thank YOU for your support!"
I've noticee that you and I often agree and I'm happy that we agree on this point. You made your point very well and it really touched me.
Most of the veterans I've seen have responded to the thanks with a nod or some sort of nonverbal acknowledgement, otherwise it's hard to say what an appropriate response would be. I don't think ignoring the thanks is a great idea, but it seems as though some of the Viet Nam vets, including my husband,( who sure weren't thanked for their service back in the day) are a little flustered by that thanks, for some reason.
FWIW, I don't generally thank a military person ( or a veteran) for his/her service, because IMO that thanks has become somewhat trite through overuse. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate their sacrifices, their service to our country, but I might try to let them know that in other ways. Depending on the reasons for meeting up with a service person, or veteran, I'd provide them with the best help, customer service, be a good neighbor, or friend, or employer, do my utmost as I can to help them have a good life and be successful.
I actually don't thank them either. I'm personally turned off by all the emphasis on their service. They are no better -or worse-than anyone else. They did what they did- joined the military by choice- because they got something out of it. Pride (a sin), free education, a job, whatever their drug- they went willingly.
I repeat- they are NO BETTER than any other person. God loves all his children.
And some would say it's manners to not insert yourself into a complete stranger's day and make assumptions about them so that you can shove your thanks down their throat.
What's wrong with a smile and a "good morning"?
Which I would do. Nobody even knows they served until they advertise it.
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