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The local middle school in my area has had instances of sexting. Girl sends nude photo of herself to someone and it makes the rounds. Eventually a parent becomes aware of it and all hell breaks loose.
Parents show en mass, at the school demanding answers. ( faculty not involved in sexting) Then someone calls in the media and everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame.
Police charge kids with porn. Parents hire lawyers.
And not a single parent takes away their kid's phone.
Unfortunately, I know the story all too well. There were only TWO kids charged and they were charged because they continued to send out the photo after being specifically told to stop and desist by the school (and these kids were not represented by high-powered lawyers). The school had confiscated the students phones, so they found another phone (given by a parent?) and posted the photo to another site. All the other kids who received the photo (and there were a lot) were not charged and the girl was not charged. The other kids were open and cooperative with administrators.
Also, parents did not show up en masse at the school demanding answers (though if your child tells you he received a broadly distributed nude photo of a classmate, it might be prudent to notify the schooll). However, it was the media who showed up en masse (and I know who called them in) to sell the dirty laundry. The media was approaching parents during drop off, seeking comments, and filming the kids walking into school. From what I saw, the parents were calm and patient about the situation.
After the media onslaught, the school then sends out an email explaining the situation. Several weeks later, the school hosts a parent meeting about sexting/legal issues.
Sad side effect of parents who now take to social media to set their children straight. Many just want to get 15 minutes of fame as the "parent of the year".
Well dad has to live with this for the rest of his life.
A sad side effect of misleading headlines is people who don't read the articles. The stepdad didn't take to social media to shame the girl. She sent the video to friends who posted it.
She wasn't "his own daughter." She was someone else's daughter. It was none of his business what she did. It's up to her real parents to deal with her.
So on the one hand we have rampant divorces which usually end with the father being removed from the children's day to day lives, which is justified under the guise of being "in the best interests of the children". Then on the other hand we have the perception that step fathers lack the standing to be a proper disciplinarian in the home because they aren't really his kids. Where are these children supposed to get their father figures and positive male role models from? It makes me wonder if this lack of male parental authority is a contributing factor in these cases of underage girls seeking make approval through naked photos we're hearing a lot about in recent years.
For the record I am speaking in general terms, and not about this particular step father. If dad isn't allowed around the kids except as an occasional visitor and step dad has no legitimate parental authority, something has to give.
Sad side effect of parents who now take to social media to set their children straight. Many just want to get 15 minutes of fame as the "parent of the year".
Well dad has to live with this for the rest of his life.
The father NEVER posted the video. He NEVER took to social media to do anything.
Scary world we live in, when vigilante justice is rampant based on rumors.
The local middle school in my area has had instances of sexting. Girl sends nude photo of herself to someone and it makes the rounds. Eventually a parent becomes aware of it and all hell breaks loose.
Parents show en mass, at the school demanding answers. ( faculty not involved in sexting) Then someone calls in the media and everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame.
Police charge kids with porn. Parents hire lawyers.
And not a single parent takes away their kid's phone.
This is the real perplexing aspect to the social media craze. Parents are clearly enablers to this whole mess, in that they allow the kids to have FB pages, binge watching Netflix series, unlimited texting, etc.
It is as if they have totally abdicated their responsibilities as parents, much less mature adults. Granted many single mothers have trouble controlling their teenage kids from a disciplinary standpoint. However some fathers also seem reluctant to address the problem at it's root case. Take the phone away or at least shut it off for a period of time. They are paying the bills after all, not the kids.
This "dad" didn't need to cut off the girls hair (though I guess something like that would not make the typical kid kill themselves). All he needed to do was remove her ability to do the same thing again. I know some kids where they would rather give up just about anything than their phones.
So happy raised our kids before cell phones. Bullying was bad then I could not even imagine being a parent with social media over taking our kids minds. (and bodies). Parents must try to get through to their kids about the ramification of sending pictures of themselves. The pictures never go away and other teenagers can be so cruel, even when you think they are your best friend. They need classes in school about this subject so the kids can engage in conversation about the subject and solutions that can help them. Perhaps it could be in tied to health and sex ed classes. We must try....
So happy raised our kids before cell phones. Bullying was bad then I could not even imagine being a parent with social media over taking our kids minds. (and bodies). Parents must try to get through to their kids about the ramification of sending pictures of themselves. The pictures never go away and other teenagers can be so cruel, even when you think they are your best friend. They need classes in school about this subject so the kids can engage in conversation about the subject and solutions that can help them. Perhaps it could be in tied to health and sex ed classes. We must try....
IMO the missing piece is the number of parents that have absolutely no idea about social media. Even if you don't "like" social media, if you're a parent raising teens in 2015 you had better know what ask.fm, tumblr, instagram, snapchat, twitter even tinder are, how they work and what specifically the kids do on them. Every teen is likely to have at least 3 or 4 of these, and if you're not on them, checking them etc. then your kid is at risk.
The analogy I use is that even if I didn't like shopping, if my kid was spending hours at the mall I'd certainly check it out, drop by and know the types of people hanging out there and what they're doing. Same with social media, if your kids are spending time there it's your job to know what's going on.
In a related theme, I am curious about parents that don't check their kids' social media based on some misplaced "right to privacy". When I was a kid if I had friends over, my parents would come down to the rec room to see what we were up to (without warning), and we weren't even allowed to close the door if boys were over. To me social media is the "rec room" of 2015 and my kids know that I WILL be making sure they're okay.
Those who commit suicide after being shamed have much bigger issues (psychological) than what they are being shamed for.
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