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Are you serious - this is the first instance of a father shooting his child?
I don't want to derail this thread and get off topic into other cases, but you might want to google that. Father shoots child or father kills child.
INDEED! reports of fathers annihilating families or all thier children, are extremely numerous, and shooting is common. The supply of articles about it are endless and ongoing constantly. Most don't make the mainstream news though.
Most of it seems to involve a family breakup of some kind.
And often times, there was abuse of family members, by the father/ husband, before the breakup.
A great many feature an ignorant, callous, insensitive, or gender biased judge who doesn't seem to have any clue of the danger of allowing access to a person who already demonstrated their abusive nature. Killing kids is often a way of targeting the other parent.
I think these cases are more common with men (or women) who are abusive. They want the power and control over their family. If they can't have it, they take it violently by killing the kids (or spouse).
I have heard of cases like this where the other parent had pleaded to the court that the killer was dangerous, but the court gave them visitation rights (or even custody) anyways. In those cases the child murders are tragic, but not surprising.
Here's a good article on child murderers by parents. It's frightening that judges hand children over to violent parents, including murderers and suspected serial killers!
This paragraph kinda sums it up:
"According to a study published this year by the Center for Judicial Excellence, at least 636 children have been murdered by a parent involved in a divorce, separation, custody, visitation or child support situation in the United States since 2008. The study also found that many of the homicides occurred after family courts granted dangerous parents access to children over objections from a protective parent."
I think that there is a weird mechanism that they cannot bring themselves to kill themselves (maybe they have tried, but just couldn't take that final step) unless they first take out a loved one, and then the finality of that act allows them to take their own lives.
Excellent thinking. I got goosebumps even reading it.
I'm fairly cynical and often times see the fallacies and bad aspects of people.. With that said when I originally read this thread title I assumed it was a tragic accident where the kid ran in the street or got hit by a train or something.. This is far worse..
Sure... but again... it isn't an excuse to not lend support to both the mother and father.
There are plenty of women who are repressed by crappy parents but we still generally give support to a new mother...
The fact that I have to repeat this for a second time is an indication of what I mean.... Is there something wrong about suggesting that we as a society should lend support to not only a new mother but also the father? What's so wrong about that suggestion? No one bothered to maybe consider that some of the problem is connected in part this... or is it just convenient to assume that a large portion of the fathers in this country are aholes and society has nothing to do with it.
*sigh*
There's nothing wrong with that suggestion, except for a.) Your thinking that mothers have all of this support that no, in fact, we do not necessarily get. And b.) Sometimes the reasons that men dish out violence to their families have nothing to do with lack of support. Or there is support available, but they'd have to admit they needed it, or seek it, or accept it, which they won't do. Many violent men don't actually think that they are doing anything wrong, or that they need any help, so...then what?
How about this... In situations where the parent has a pervasive, ongoing, thought-based or personality-based disturbance, that builds to the point of committing an act of violence, whether they are an angry and abusive person who has no self control, or they have a crisis of rage over being denied the entitlement to the picture perfect life they thought they had (remember, the data that I shared, indicates that many such instances involve someone who has had a major change of circumstance such as divorce or job loss)... "Support" may or may not help with that--and they'd need to actually accept it.
My ex, whom I begged to get therapy, or to just get out of the house and volunteer, had been put out of the military involuntarily for medical reasons and had a loss of identity, structure, and purpose. He would frequently blow up my phone with threats, forcing me to leave work to come sit with him. I gave him as much support as I could, and pleaded with him to seek more, which he would not do. He continued to escalate until eventually I had to leave. I speak of him because he is the only guy I know personally, that I legitimately believe had some potential to become lethally dangerous to family members, and to himself. The only "support" he wanted was for me to sit there by his side 24/7, which I couldn't really do since someone had to make money to pay the bills.
But I believe that there are other cases, and I could guess they MIGHT be more common with women (though yes, of course there are cases where they're premeditating and getting back at a partner and it's anger or personality disorder etc)... where like a mother animal eating the young, she is so jacked up due to biological and neurochemical stressors that she freaks out and snaps. What causes this can be lack of support. And we can talk about "agencies and so on rallying," but I have been there. In extreme poverty, without enough to eat, and with no support. No one to watch the baby so that I could occasionally get more than a couple hours of sleep, no help with food, no down time of any kind, no relief from our financial desperation. I was homeless when my first child was about 4 months old. Granted, not for long, but I've visited that hell, ok? And NO ONE was "rallying" for me.
I did not harm my child. But I felt the urge to, rising within me, and I only just had enough control to put him in a crib and go away from him for the ten minutes or so, to get a handle on myself. It was horrifying. I felt like there was a monster inside of me, and there was no one I could talk to or ask for help, because as a mother, if you even admit that you feel anything other than perfect love and care for your baby, people will hate you, you could lose your child, no one will understand. It makes you simply a bad, defective human being. It did not for one second occur to me, that I could say, "So look, I'm starving, and I haven't slept in what feels like...weeks? I don't even know anymore... And I'm beginning to be afraid I could become a danger to my infant, could someone help me out here? Anyone?" No, there is no excuse in the world. No help. It was no one's job but my own.
When I asked for money for food, my ex said he needed it to buy weed or "he couldn't guarantee that he would be able to treat me nicely." My needs did not matter to anyone. But hey, I'm sure he just needed more support.
I have not seen a father in those circumstances, where his needs were that irrelevant. I really have not. I mean, "I don't get the best custody or visitation terms" or "Boo hoo I have to pay child support"...ok right, but to the point where he is expected to not eat or sleep? Where is that father? I have not met him. Most Dads I know, even decent ones, want all the pride and joy of parenthood, with not really much of the work.
What I'm not saying, is that women who harm their children can be excused in general because of something like this. What I am saying, is that if one lists the reasons why men and women might do such a horrific thing...I think that a person's inner machine going haywire due to hormones, hunger, and/or sleep deprivation...that one might be more common with the Moms. Whereas, "I lost my job and I feel useless and cannot provide for my family anymore" could be more of a Dad reason. Not excuses, only reasons.
Furthermore, given the sheer number of men I've met who just LOVE the notion of knocking up a woman they don't actually want to keep in their lives, having unprotected sex no matter what she wants, being a real stud by leaving behind a trail of fatherless children...I do think that there are plenty of a-hole dads out there. Beyond that, I've known a lot of men, who grew up being beaten by their fathers, who believe they have to be disciplinarians to their own kids and who cross the line into physical abuse. We are not so many generations from a place where men also believed that a real man probably needed to beat his wife to keep her properly in line, too. So you can spare me your #notallmen speech, we've got a cultural foundation for this crap. Women are simply not as physically violent in general, as men are, it's a basic statistical, cultural fact and reality. We are changing the landscape, I think and hope, but it doesn't happen overnight. And some will still say that it's only natural, and to be expected, because testosterone. But hey...just because one feels an impulse, does not mean one must act on it--no matter where it comes from.
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